Soon Thanksgiving and the turkeys are just out

Pilgrims on the sideboard

This year I did not do my traditional busy work of decorating  for early fall, then Halloween and then Thanksgiving instead scaled down to only a fall decor. I have been otherwise busy trying to get the last of leaves raked and dumped down the hill ahead of the imminent storms and time dwindles.  Besides with only the two of us and no guests, it does not seem as important.  Still I have the decor and can only use it once a year and I do enjoy it.  So  this weekend I realized it was time to get the pilgrims out and the turkeys.  Not all of my collections and a few more went to Goodwill along with another box of big artificial floral decors that I no longer want.  When I decide these days to donate, get rid of anything it has to go immediately or else I will set it aside and  then keep it until?  That way I do not allow myself to keep stuff.  My attempts to down load and off load continue. 

Some of the living room  mantle decor

Downstairs window sill, TV room

 Recently an old friend mentioned by email that he, at age 83 has discontinued collecting anything and mentioned his former collections of matchbooks, lighters, etc.  I replied the same and yet, I miss going to estate sales, auctions, etc and scooping up the bargains.  But it is a time of life that I must stop and say, "what for, why, you have more than enough and someday someone will just dump it all  anyway." I have a hard time shedding stuff especially when I remember the story connected to it, how I acquired it or who gave it to me, or how it might have been used.  I think about my late aunt and uncle both of whose  homes I had to have cleared to sell and settle their estates.  Uncle Carl would go up to his upstairs and sit amidst so many of his  memories, photos, trophies from hunts, etc.  It gave him comfort remembering through the objects.  I do the same now.  Is it genetic?  I really wish that I had some one interested in taking some of these collections and appreciating them but things are different today.  Life did not  turn out the way I thought it would and so  adjustments and acceptance mean moving along as best we can with what we have.  Jerry has always thought I make too much work for myself with decorating for the seasons, but I suppose it is a hold over from days past when we used to entertain, host gatherings.  That no longer happens most all the relatives have died as have old friends and we no longer live near anyone.  Here people seldom just drop in so when I decorate it is just for us.  

I have inherited turkey salt and peppers from MIL and late aunts as well as some trinkets and ones I carefully purchased over the years.  Here in the collage are but a few.  They will be in place until this coming weekend after Thanksgiving when back in the box they go and back in the closet.  I am not ready to part with my turkeys, not yet, maybe not ever.  None of my collections are made in China, many are antique and several are hand painted.  MIL had the set top left in the collage and I remember their appearance at Thanksgiving tables when she cooked and we went to Riverside.  She did use them as salt and pepper shakers but I do not.  I merely display them, they are very worn, the paint is almost gone in parts, well used.  Imagine the tales they have hears and seen over so many years.  I know it is only stuff but to me it brings memories and so I get them out even for a short time and appreciate them.  

Wisdom of ages and wondering

2008  Uncle Carl and Aunt Jinx on his porch

Lately I seem to be channeling the sayings of my passed on relatives, especially my late Uncle Carl, whose advice to me was something he lived by, "Take it as it comes"  and "I am not gonna' worry about that."  And then there was my late Aunt Jinx, " Just be glad you are strong enough to work."  Mom's brother and sister who outlived her although she was the baby of the family, but that whole story would get me off track for this post.  I have been trying to write this for over a week but never have time, time is a premium to me.  

My grandma's antique hand washer
 at foot of stairs, fall decor

Now that Jerry is so limited,  well really he can do hardly anything, I have his chores along with mine which were always never ending.  Some days I get so weary.  The life we are living today, is certainly nothing we expected nor would have chosen, but it is what it is and all we can do is our best to go along.  I have given up decorating for both Halloween and Thanksgiving this year and chose only an autumn decor.  I used to love to change the holiday house decorations, but today, I have neither the energy nor the desire to engage there, too much else keeps me very occupied from morning until night.  Somedays by night I am beyond exhausted and yet somehow I still keep going.  It is then I hear Jinx, "be glad you are strong...."    So sometimes I get so annoyed with myself, for grumbling, whining to me.  I know there is so much to be thankful for, yet life feels overwhelming.

First snow 11-6 out living room window

Our back deck covered 11-6

 I have taken several days to write this latest lament, we had our first snow, far too early for me, last night.   I dread winter arriving this early.  It is bitter cold to me at  34 degrees out there today and yet I know that soon that will be considered a higher temperature.  This wintry stuff is why I did not want to move here when we retired but other life considerations won out and so here we are.  It was tolerable when we could migrate south for the winter and  enjoy with RV friends at rallies and in warmth.  But there again, life has changed and  so we cannot look back only be present and be grateful.  So I tell me. Yesterday Jerry and I went to Sam's, it was his first trip there in many months and he did fine and seemed to enjoy walking around.  He drove the truck so we could haul bags of water softener salt.  Each bag is 44 pounds and  dead weight that I cannot manage.  But he was able to lift the bags into our cart.  Previously I had the check out get the bags for me and load them into the car.  Yesterday we only got help loading them into the back of the truck.  When we got home he drove the truck around to the back walkout door and I hauled them into the well cellar by the water softener using a small dolly.  Was feeling that we had truly accomplished something, we have a supply now that should last all winter.  But last night I began to fret about the snow forecast and early this morning about 4:00AM I looked outside and sure enough white. Today was the day to set out the recycle bin so I dreaded that but decided to shovel the  step and clear a path to back out my car then take the bin down the drive for pick up.  Jerry though he might get the leaf blower out and blow some snow but it was too wet and heavy.  

Anyway I made enough progress and then decided to back out the car and let the rest of the snow set or wait to see if  our snow removal guy would be around today.  When I came into the garage IO did not raise the door all the way.  I went into the house for a potty stop and came out and began to back up when my XT5  alerted me by buzzing my seat and showing an indicator on the dash screen that I was backing up, fortunately slowly but not before I heard  a thump.  Good grief, I had forgotten that I had not fully opened the garage door.  But  I pulled in then raised it then backed out and dreaded what I saw as I took the recycle bin down the drive.  My roof antenna had been broken loose.  Lately I feel that there is a demon lurking here because if it were not for bad luck I would have none at all.  I want that sense of joy, peaceful heart that I used to have, really I did.  Where did it go?  

  Only been a month now since my last harrowing, well darned inconvenient,  escapade where unbeknownst to me I drove over fresh high way paint and spattered my  passenger side.  My XT5 Cadillac SUV only has 5,000 miles on it and is just barely a year old.  We bought it new last year.  Long story short all is fixed and the comprehensive insurance covered the body shop charges except for our deductible.  Although a siege and regrettable all was well that ended well.  I drove Jerry's truck while my SUV was being made  new.  So my escapade today finds me really whacking myself upside my head.  Am I becoming stupid, careless, or is there a curse haunting me?.  Jerry says I have taken on too much since he has been ill and I know I have, but that does not justify this stuff.  This will require another trip to the dealer and fortunately an adjustment to the garage door only.  It could have been so far worse, yet needed this like another hole in my head.  Jerry tells me to slow down, that I have too much happening in my head at once and reminds me I am not in my 50's or 60's and infact I will soon be 75, goodness 3/4 of a century!.  

Tomorrow November 7 will be one year since Jerry's successful lung cancer surgery.  I used to love November, my birthday month, the 13th.  But anymore I just do not know.  My last best friend Carlie died last November suddenly, unexpectedly, inoperable un-treatable, fatal fast lung cancer diagnosed when Jerry was undergoing his tests.  She did not make it.  I miss her, especially not being able to talk with her on the phone as we did weekly.  .  .So November, which is my natal month holds trepidation and here I go again.  Am I becoming overly  superstitious in my aging?    Is there an evil demon too near, have my guardian angels gone on vacation, if my prayers and faith are protecting me, just imagine how much worse it can be?  

Heed Uncle Carl's saying, "Take it as it comes...""""  And Biblical, "it came to pass.."  not to stay, I tell me. 

Windy fall days and Brandy apple pie

Back toward bird feeders

Windy autumn days mean almost daily leaf patrol  activity here .  Jerry wishes he had a cord to pull to release at once all the leaves that will fall from all our trees so leaf patrol would be a one time thing.   Several of the ash trees have shed nearly all their leaves from  the gusty  winds we've had the  last few days.  That's the blanket of gold you see covering the lawn.  He was out there soon after I took this photo with the gas leaf blower  and then  riding mower mulcher, chopping these up so that they go back into the soil.  And then within a few more hours there will be more, by the next day it will look as though nothing was done and the task will be repeated.  Repetition a frequent activity at this time of year.   Our balmy autumn has been replaced with a nip in the air and the winds of fall. 



From the  side back toward the neighbors..golden carpets



These winds complicate our recovery from with these lingering coughs, tickles at the throat as the weeks roll along making nearly  my 3rd week of this PA cold bug.  We  both visited our MD who checked our lungs, and is satisfied this is likely the cold virus that is making its way around the Midwest.  That being said, PA was ahead of it all and viruses can take their  good old time to depart.  Each day I think, "aha, better today"  and that is kind of accurate, but by evening there is a bit of tickly throat and some drainage.  Our MD said antibiotics were not necessary since we were showing no signs of infection nor running fevers.  Just tough it out, take it easy, lots of liquids, etc.  We both got our flu shots too, which surprised me.  I thought we might have to wait, but our MD assured us no fever, no problem.  There is again a nasty flu strain expected and with our resistance down it is best to get the shot sooner than later.  So we muddle and hack along.  The other night I had the best night's  sleep with no coughing and no congestion, but  last  night returned a bit more tickly at night, clearing the throat and disrupting my sleep.   This too shall pass. 

Apple Brandy lattice top pie

I decided the nip in the air made yesterday a good day to bake my favorite apple brandy pie.  Each year I dread my first pies because I almost lose my touch  to crusts when pie baking time returns.  I don't make pie crusts all summer and the right technique doesn't always show up on my first try.  But yesterday after a quick trip to Leidel's for baking apples, Harelson's as recommended by Mitch, I kept busy in my kitchen pie making.  I was proud of the results you see in this photo; victory the first time, While my grandma could whip up a pie crust at the drop of a pencil, I struggle, but yesterday it worked.  I prefer to make my own crusts, I cannot resort to the prepackaged store bought types, which would be easier but not flavorful, not flaky; to me the crust is an important part of the pie, bad crust= bad pie.  For my crusts I use a mixture of flours white and whole wheat along with Crisco (Baba Rose used lard), butter, vinegar, salt, sugar and ice cold water. Mix it up till crumbly and then add ice water drops at a time, roll out and put into pie pan.  I do not chill my crusts before rolling.   This brandy pie is a modification of a Martha Stewart winner and because I never follow a recipe  I share here my general directions of what goes in.  Slice apples and pour lemon juice and some brandy over them while making the crust.  I used 8 big Harelson apples for this pie sliced thin. My aunt believed only Granny Smith Green apples were fitting for an apple pie, but she never had MN Harelsons.   For the filling mix  1/4 cup flour, 3/4cup white sugar, 1/2 cup brown sugar, 1-2 Tablespoons of cornstarch, 1 Tablespoon vanilla, , 1/4 cup brandy, 1 Tablespoon each of cinnamon, allspice and honey, 1/4 teaspoon  each of cloves, pumpkin pie spice, and  nutmeg and a dash of mace, 2-3 Tablespoons of butter.  Mix it all together.   Drain the apples.  Sprinkle the bottom of the unbaked pie crust with sugar then begin to fill with apples that have been rolled and coated with the filling.  All the filling should be used with all the apples and  I have found it works best to do this in layers rather than  trying to mix the apples into the filling and pour them into the pie shell.  Put either a top crust or lattice crust over all and dot with slivers of butter.  Place the pie on a cookie sheet because it will boil over (I have never baked this pie when it did not.)  I use a big deep Longaberger pie dish that is almost 11 inches across or sometimes I might use a 12 inch pie pan.  I like to make big pies. Jerry can eat a quarter of a pie at a time, so making a dinky 8 inch pie means it is gone in two days.  He is also known to have a slice of pie midday.  He likes pies.  Bake at 400 degrees for one hour covering the pie very loosely  with parchment paper and foil; decrease the temperature to 375 and bake for another hour.  In the last 10-15 minutes remove the foil and parchment paper and let the top brown.   This is delicious warm or cold but we especially like it warm with a dollop of good vanilla ice cream.  Ummmm, nothing much better than this.  This is a pie for responsible adults, and would not be advisable for those who must not imbibe alcohol, or for children, but having none of those in our home, we are set.   The alcohol bakes out, but those who have issues must resist.