I go on, I do my best. Yesterday I talked with a local lady, another widow, whom Jerry had known family from way back. She had sent me a very thoughtful sympathy card and said to call to chat sometime, so I did. She is older and not going out to church with the pandemic although someone is bringing her communion. Her husband died well over a year ago, but she still misses him and admitted she has lots of lonely times. But she has an adult daughter here and they do a lot for her including taking her to their home for dinner then sending leftovers home with her. She said it is good that I enjoy cooking because she does not for herself. I hear this same distress from many widows. We talked about how wearing winters are and how this isolation is magnified, compounded with grief. Commiserating with someone else who knows understands is good. She admitted to having no hobbies and that all she does is watch Hallmark channel on TV, At least I have endless tasks. She said she gets tired cleaning too. But we do it, although our homes are not getting dirty, it is busy work, but want to keep the home neat tidy too, my lifelong trait.