Happy Thanksgiving and Reverie

It's here the fall harvest feast time of  the year, when night comes too early and left overs make round two of eating as much fun as round one.  This year it will be easier, the numbers of  us who gather decline, sure it's less complicated but it's solemn too.  Just us, Jerry's mother and possibly a friend.   Taking his mother out to eat is not in the game plan. Life is now so different from the times and  the feasts I prepared all those years past  in Newcastle, CA where everyone gathered at our home and I cooked and entertained and complained about how much work it was.

 Back then we were just about ready to harvest the mandarins from our orchard; we both had day jobs but we had wonderful friends who would come up to the farm to help and of course they were part of our  harvest family.  Back then I was always at work (and not just a job  but a career that demanded much) and often I would be out of town right before the holiday on business.  One year in particular I got so weary that I declared I would not cook that year.  As I recall I had an overnight flight to DC for a meeting and then back  to Ca and I was not in a mood to shop and cook as well.  Jerry suggested we eat out and so we did.  I thought all along that surely someone else would step up and do the meal, sister in law who lived not too far away, someone?  Anyone?  No one did.  So Jerry, Steve and I dined at a very nice restaurant in Lincoln at the  something  or other Bridges golf course.  It was exquisite as I recall, we had a gorgeous table in the corner, by the windows and could look out over the  greens.  The only thing was there were no left overs and that weekend I ended up cooking a turkey anyway, it  just  hadn't seemed right. 

It's even different here from when we first moved and there were cousins around who journeyed to eat with us and spent the weekend or even those who just came over for dinner. Life has changed. They are no longer with us. We are the survivors.

Which brings me to  this year, here in MN just us, it really does not seem right but  given the option to eat out,  I always choose to cook. There is that option to purchase the ready  made meal from any number of grocery stores too and bring it home, but  somehow the ghost of Aunt Jinx haunts me and I cannot imagine doing that either.  Two friends in CA are  doing  so  and it will be interesting to see how that  works for them.  I can't imagine any prepared meal being as good as what I can cook, especially my delicious stuffing.   This is the curse of being a good cook and then some, I am very particular about food.

I bought a small turkey, only 13  pounds which will be more than adequate for  3 or 4 of us; there was the time when I would have a  20 pound bird and  ham besides, or a turkey and lamb roast.. Sometimes I could not even pick up the roaster pan with the humongous stuffed turkey.  Then one year, Jerry bought the turkey deep fryer and I was sure it would come to no good, so I cooked a ham as well, but the deep fried  turkey was delicious  and no one wanted ham.

I do not intend to whine and lament; I know we have much to be  thankful for, our health and  relative prosperity, all the good things and blessings that we should not take for granted.  Still I will and do miss the preparation, the hub bub. I'm humming  that song, "those were the days my friend, we thought they'd never end...." Now that I have the time to do all that work and a perfect home with lots of room, it is no more. I love setting the table with the fine china and all the adornments.  I will do that despite our limited attendance.

I suppose I should give it up and agree to eat out, easier, but there is something about having the meal at home at leisure and those wonderful smells that fill the kitchen and waft elsewhere.  Jerry has suggested we begin to  consider being away somewhere in the motor home over the holiday, but that just does not sound right to me either.  But perhaps, I will accept that as something whose time has come another year.  

I often thought  it would be a good thing to work at a community dinner and help serve, such as they held at the Auburn Fairgrounds in CA or here in La Crosse.  But then I think all the crowds and work and standing would be too much and so I do  not go past a mere spurt of that thought.

I browsed through some photos looking for  ones of all the gatherings but could not find them; surely there must be at least one or two around, but then again, perhaps we were so busy we didn't photograph the events, predigital camera days.  We were so busy, we didn't think to record the grand feast for  posterity.  I guess we thought those days and times would always be with us, but so like all those we love who have left this planet, those times are done. I can only smile now thinking about them.

I have made great progress sorting and culling old photos but I am not yet done; when I can find  the subject matter I look for right when I am looking for it, like Thanksgiving I will know I am organized.     I try to remember Thanksgiving times from my childhood but  those days are just not coming into focus.  I know that we had gatherings and these were usually at another relative's home because Mom did not  like to cook for others.  My grandma did though and those feasts when everyone gathered around are clear to me.  Sometimes we ate at home by ourselves, when Mom was feeling reclusive or my step father was working an odd shift at the  steel mill  and those few times I recall as not fun.  I always liked being with my grandparents, cousins and the crowds.  I guess I have that Norman Rockwell photo in my head and always thought that is the way it should be.  It is not and now though I well know it, I long for the "days ago."    I wish a  very happy turkey time to all my bloggy  readers.  If you have created new traditions I would like to hear about them and your experiences.  For me, old habits die hard....

In closing here is a poem by Edgar Guest, lamentations on Thanksgivings ago.....