Nostalgia

I found a treasure box of memory today while clearing some things out of a downstairs closet. I have not finished going through it, because I am reading the letters and notes, cards, looking at the old photos, letters from 1976 the oldest so far.. Appears I will keep more than I toss, so far keepers are birthday cards from Mom and Aunt Jinx, cards from very close late friend Roberta in CA, letters from MIL, letters from Aunt Ruth, Aunt Dorothy, this is a great indoor project. 

Apparently the box was one I tossed stuff into in our move from CA 2005 while I was very weary of packing. I can hear Jerry then telling me to just toss stuff out and I did a lot, but glad I kept some things. Hasn't been opened since we moved, shoved into the back of the closet and forgotten. Mom's comments often include, "nothing new since we spoke last week." And Jinx comments include, "your mother said you talked yesterday but she didn't tell me anything you said.  Don't tell her I said so.""  Mom and her sister lived in the same area of PA all their lives and in later years continued their on off sisterly relationship through me, each one telling me something to not tell the other.  It makes me laugh today, both are gone and I can read and hear them.  I feel sorry for people of today who either do not write nor ever receive  real letters or notes of substance.  We do have the online of email, the commemorations on  Facebook and other areas of internet, perhaps blogs, but few will ever again get pleasure that I am enjoying these many decades later from reading old letters.  Maybe no one will care, maybe they will be better off without such memory ties.  For me, it is a wonderful  inside project.  Our temperatures continue to hove in zero and below and single digits. but we do not have the abundance  of snow that bombed the east.  And tomorrow and the next few days we will warm up to the 30's  hooray.  

 Two pictures I scanned because I will send along to SIL their mom.  They often visited us.  Here in 1980, to the left,  is niece Karen  playing monopoly at our table in Newcastle, She must have been winning because she sure was happy.  Not sure if she was plotting  in the next one with her mom and sister, Christy.  

Today both nieces have families of their own.  Karen on her 2nd, lives on the island of St Kits with her husband and young son, and Christy in Denver with hubby and two sons. We are in touch easily on Facebook.  They will get a charge out of seeing these pics, blasts from the past.   Lots of miles traveled along so many old roads.  Sometimes I think that there is far more behind me than what lies ahead, that's age.  

I scanned this that I found on my computer files recently, apparently I used it in 2014 and although I am not a golfer, I liked the sentiments.  I though it worth sharing here with nostalgia.  

BACK NINE

You know ... time has a way of moving quickly and catching you unaware of the passing years. It seems just yesterday that I was young, just married and embarking on my new life with my mate. Yet in a way, it seems like eons ago, and I wonder where all the years went. I know that I lived them all. I have glimpses of how it was back then and of all my hopes and dreams.

But, here it is... the “back nine” of my life and it catches me by surprise...How did I get here so fast? Where did the years go and where did my youth go?

I remember well seeing older people through the years and thinking that those older people were years away from me and that “I was only on the first hole” and the “back nine” was so far off that I could not fathom it or imagine fully what it would be like.

But, here it is...my friends are retired and getting gray...they move slower and I see an older person now. Some are in better and some worse shape than me...but, I see the great change...Not like the ones that I remember who were young and vibrant...but, like me, their age is beginning to show and we are now those older folks that we used to see and never thought we'd become.

And so...now I enter into this new season of my life unprepared for all the aches and pains and the loss of strength and ability to go and do things that I wish I had done but never did!! But, at least I know, that though I’m on the “back nine”, and I'm not sure how long it will last...and I'm still playing. Yes, I have regrets. There are things I wish I hadn't done...things I should have done, but indeed, there are many things I'm happy to have done. It's all in a lifetime.

So, if you're not on the “back nine” yet...let me remind you, that it will be here faster than you think. So, whatever you would like to accomplish in your life please do it quickly! Don't put things off too long!! Life goes by quickly. So, do what you can today, as you can never be sure whether you’re on the “back nine” or not!

You have no promise that you will see all the seasons of your life...so, live for today and say all the things that you want your loved ones to remember...and hope that they appreciate and love you for all the things that you have done for them in all the years past!!

"Life" is a gift to you.
The way you live your life is your gift to those who come after. LIVE IT WELL! ENJOY TODAY! Enjoy your work and its challenges. Enjoy the weather and its variations...snow, sleet, rain or sun. Welcome the opportunities that come your way, some unexpectedly and some a result of searching and effort.

Remember "It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver. LIVE HAPPY IN 2014! 

Stay well, "OLD FRIEND!" Send this on to other "Old Friends!" and let them laugh in AGREEMENT!!! It's Not What You Gather, But What You Scatter That Tells What Kind Of Life You Have Lived.""""

Our 2017 Christmas Card

This was the picture we used for our Christmas card greeting.  It was taken by a professional photographer and we are holding our wedding photo.  We celebrated our 50th anniversary in October.  My local church was having photos taken for the new directory and the timing coincided with our 50th. 

The photographer was more excited than we were, she kept saying she was so honored to be a part of our event.  Yet we had no big celebration as other might do. We did go out to a fine local restaurant for a wonderful dinner.  And at various gatherings we have been "announced" as 50 year celebrants.  We do not know where all those years went.  It seems hardly possible.

This was a Christmas present to a few as well, framed portraits.  I ordered more than I should have and Jerry did not stop me.  I was caught up in commemorating 50 and so spent more than necessary.  We had a minor  blip with the company.  
when our order arrived there were empty picture frames.  What?  ?Where are the portraits?  Our Christmas cards were there and the 3 in one frame I chose for us, but the gifts were only empty frames.  I called the company who assured me there would be an envelope replacing all the portraits that should have been included.  A week later another box arrived and there were the portraits which we had to insert in the frames.  Not an undoable task. But later that day another box arrived, an exact duplicate of our order including the tri-framed and all portraits in frames.  Oh no!  I did not want to purchase more, already I was regretting this splurge.  Another call to the company who apologized and said to just keep it, it was their mistake.  And no we would not have to pay to return it or for another shipment.  After all what would they do with our portraits, so we were free to give them away.  Easier said than done, we have no other relatives to give these too, we had copies for the few  family members.  So we have extra framed portraits, anyone want one?  The benefit was double order of Christmas cards, so we used those by sending along more greetings than planned.  

Sometimes ya just gotta play the hand you're dealt!. 

One of those time when I wish I were Clairvoyant

45 year old woven wheat magnet
made in PA by elderly Polish lady

Our best laid plans oft go awry and there is not a thing we can do but roll with it.  Today is the  2nd day or arctic tundra single digit temperatures here at home, and although the sun is shining today's high temperature will be 6 degrees.  Sub zero temperatures at night.  I covered up most every inch of my skin just walking from the car into the Y this morning. We should be traveling southward now to Florida, to sun and fun and two RV rallies. 

 But a couple weeks ago, I came down with the sorest mouth I have ever had, when it started I thought I had burned the roof of my mouth. By the next day, I was  beginning to hurt more but could not see any swelling along the upper right gum, etc, so I figured it would just wear away.  Googling indicated that a burned mouth could take a few days to heal and I was still thinking that's what I had done. 

 That night my upper right throbbed, the pain was unlike anything I have ever experienced.  Actually I have never had a tooth ache in 73 years so I am pretty darn fortunate.  But that Thursday evening I could not sleep and I figured this was  going to mean a dentist visit.  I got through the night by taking an Advil every hour to little relief.  Fridays my dentist is closed but she takes calls at home.  When I told her what was going on, she correctly diagnosed an infection and called in heavy penicillin and told me to follow dosage and to take 4 advil at a time. Call her if not better. Well, yes much relief and I was seeing some slight swelling on the outer gum line, but still no indication, no abscess, nothing definitive.  My right cheek was getting puffy too. But I could sleep that night and I could identify the sore tooth, #4 inside  upper right, a premolar.  It was sensitive to biting on it.  But the unbearable pain was gone and I knew I would live: during the pain siege I was sure I would have to get better to die.  

Monday the dentist xrayed and sure enough a sign of infection above that tooth.  Worse the tooth had an old root canal likely done sometime before 2004 in CA.  I was not sure when.  I learned that a root canal can wear out and in this case infection had proven that.  So we can keep learning at any age.  My dentist said she would send me to an endodontic specialist because she would not retreat the root canal and she was  sure that was what was needed.  Well, but it is holiday times, and  closing in on end of year when those with dental insurance want to use their benefits before year end.  Despite her calls and my pleading the specialist had no openings until January 31.  But we had planned to be gone. What to do?  What are the odds of my going on our merry way south and nothing happening?  My dentist could not predict.  It might never happen again or it might return.  She could try to arrange treatment for me in Florida and could call in another antibiotic prescription if the infection returned.  She knew I wanted to get down south.  But no guarantees, no odds, it either will or won't.  I guess one might call that 50/50.

Friends were of mixed opinion, go on your way and risk it, might never happen, get it treated when you return in spring.  But I am not a gambler and the older I get the fewer risks I am comfortable taking. Jerry said I could decide and either way it would be ok.  There were two more days during which we could cancel all our reservations in FL without paying a penalty.  The penalties would have been nearly $600-up to $1000.  Jerry said ignore the $$.  But not me, I am too cheap!  Look at what else I could do with that $$.

So I canceled and said, "we will stay north."  Fortunately we do not have to go out in inclement weather if we do not need to.  We have little snow, a smattering on the ground, but it is brutally cold.  This cold is expected to hang around for another week.  Hunker in.  Then I called the specialist and the January 31st opening was gone, now I cannot get in until February 13th.  I figure the worst that will happen is he will do another scan and evaluation and say, all it well.  No need to retreat the root canal.  And then we could go south later than planned.  We will have missed out on the RV rallies though.  As another local friend said, "you can be sure now that you will stay home that not a thing will happen, but if you had gone...."  

So here we are.  All is not lost, I have unlimited projects to keep me occupied at home.  And there are far worse things can happen to a person.  And perhaps we can get some southern migration in later.  It is our intent to look for a permanent wintering RV spot in Florida and that will take some consideration and exploration.  Meantime, that's my little tale of woe for the Christmas season, kind of like a lump of coal in the stocking for anyone who remembers coal as I do. 

Meandering blogger

Ally our 2016 American Allegiance

I have not been posting to this blog but happened here after getting a notification about a comment.  So I have updated with a photo on the sidebar of our now new, to us, 2016 American Allegiance Coach, our new vacation home on wheels.  We acquired Ally, her name,  end of February, 2017 at Lazy Days in Seffner Florida where we wintered  some of our 2016-17 snowbird south. Since I did create this blog to record our RV adventures long ago, I thought I should get busy with posting the new addition.

This was not my idea, I was quite satisfied with our Excursion, but Jerry wanted newer, better,  it had under 62,000 miles which is nothing on a diesel, but he  wanted this upgrade, tag axle and a hundred other things, newer.  He began to develop a litany of things that would have to be done to fix the Excursion, and admitted it would cost way less than the new coach, but that he felt it was time to upgrade . 

2008 Excursion which we traded in for Ally

2017 February Florida, moving out of Excursion into Allegiance
what a siege and chore unloading and loading.  We were loaded up
for winter, so it took days to transfer stuff. 

Yes Ally is ultra luxurious but what a siege.  I could write the longest blog post ever about the entire process, but I have already done that on Facebook, so not repeating everything here for non Facebook people.  I fear spending big sums of money in retirement because I have a phobia of ending up a bag lady.  I always have had that, maybe it started  with warnings from my Polish grandma, "always have a way to take care of yourself and earn money so you do not end up old and poor"  something like that she told me in Polish.  Jerry who is not a spendthrift by any means, though, reminds me that we can't take it with us and we just as well enjoy while we can.  We have no one that close to us to leave sums of money too and most of what we leave will be going to various charities and organizations that we support.  While they will likely put our names on a plaque somewhere in gratitude, we should reap the rewards of the working we both did in our careers.  Further, he knows while I shudder,  that no way are we approaching financial destitution in fact, we are part of the better off retirees, we own our home. no bills, some months do not spend all our income and we do not need to save and pinch pennies and debate about purchases.  When we see something we want, we buy it.    

Back to Ally, Jerry spotted this American Coach and had been on the lookout to upgrade, even though we really liked our 2008 Excursion.  I was reluctant to do this, spending really big buck$ and then some, but I should have known that once he starts on looking at a new vehicle, it is going to happen.  Well while we were in Sefner, he couldn't get the right deal on the price of this new coach nor on trade in for ours. I was relieved but his mental wheels kept on churning and turning.  So we went on to Texas, Port Isabel where we intended to spend the rest of February and early March.  That is another story entirely and although the weather was fabulous there along the gulf, that border area is just not a place I care to revisit.  The RV Park was old and very cramped, so that we couldn't look out our windows without seeing the wall of another coach or trailer squeezed right next to us.  That is  jut not the way we like to live, so  we  were waiting out February and wiser for the experience. 

Allegiance hall way, residential refrigerator.
Behind the closed doors to the left are the separate washer and dryer. 

Jerry began making phone calls back to Florida to the sales consultant at Lazy Days and learned the American Coach was still there.  They thought they had sold it but the potential buyers couldn't qualify for financing.  We were paying cash.  For the life of me I cannot understand people financing motor homes, especially as vacation homes.  We have never charge a vacation in our lives, if we couldn't pay for it we  didn't go.  The Allegiance had barely had a first owner who kept it only 4 months and then upgraded to something bigger, a bus. Well that first owner took the depreciation, because just like automobiles, these babies depreciate the minute they leave the lot.  The Allegiance is 42 ft, but what a difference those 2 feet more than the 40 ft. Excursion make.  We gained a half bath which I really appreciate when Jerry is in the shower and the main bathroom is occupied.  We gained a residential refrigerator and a stacked separate washer and dryer, unlike the all in one combo we had in the Excursion.  I really like all these amenities, the beautiful dark cherry high gloss  luxurious cabinets and the new microwave convection oven, the all induction cook top and the dishwasher!  I never thought I would want a dishwasher in the coach, but when we winter for months, I was missing that.  I still prefer my own cooking a lot of the time when we are traveling, so despite eating out when we chose to, I cook most meals in our home.  I have always dislike washing dishes and although it isn't that bad for two people, I am much happier with a dishwasher. We have 3 smart tv's inside, one is going to come out and become cabinet space and we have an external TV for watching outside. 

Living room area sofa, not fully pulled out, there is an extension,
to the sofa which is white leather. That's why a cushion is on the
kitchen  counter, sink area to the right

King size bed

There have been some minor fixes needed, stuff the former owner never found or perhaps didn't have the acuity that Jerry has for all things electronic and mechanical.  We have an appointment in August at the factory in Decatur Indiana for some slide warranty work. That fits with our planned trip to my PA home area for my 55th high school class reunion.  Although he vowed that it would fit into it's own house that we have here at our home in MN, sure enough when we got home in March he called a contractor to have some roof beams elevated.  With each newer, bigger coach, he has enlarged the shop/house for coaches.  It is now fully extended and can go no bigger, but the beams were a bit too low for this coach, so there was an adjustment needed. Did I mention the bed is king size, which I dislike and so does he.  We are accustomed to queen size and this meant buying new linens too.  So although this is more comfortable with ability to raise feet and hear, etc. similar to the  luxury bed we have at home, with massage features, etc, we both would have opted for a queen size.  But the new coaches all have King size, likely that works well for big people, or those who are king sized themselves. We are not. We talk about replacing this King with a queen, making this bed is  hassle because there is barely enough room for hands to fit between the head and the wall. And the pillows, too  many all nicely decorative, but have to be removed for sleeping and then stored across the room.  We took several pillows out and have them in a big  bag stored at home, they will likely visit Goodwill store soon.  

We traveled  to Goshen Indiana in May to a Pushers annual event that Jerry has wanted to attend for some time. Another long story and one chronicled on Facebook.  We have some home projects under way including taking down 3 of our magnificent big ash trees from out back, victims of the emerald ash borer that has devastated this region.  I had new quartz counter tops put into the kitchen and am still waiting on the tile for the backsplash.  After I debated and pondered and made my decision, the contractor later advised that the tile was on backorder and there would be a 8 to 10 week delay.  So although  the counters were done end of April, we are waiting.  Surely this will end, but I decided to wait,  After all it took me 3 years to do this project that I have been thinking about and took me a month to decide on both counters and backsplash.  So waiting and keeping busy at home, gardening, weeding, and life. This is the update for today, last photo of the happy man in our new vacation home. 

Jerry watching one of the 3 inside TV;s from the sofa.

Right under our noses, locally

Brochure for this one day event.  Often we  do not attend events locally
when we would if we were visiting.  But the history offered was too tempting for me to miss

The Chateau on Cass St.  Front  with the original structure.

Saturday, May 16 was frigidly cold here so my plans to go on the architectural tour of some of the wonderful historic buildings in downtown Lqa Crosse changed.  The walking guided tour was to begin at 11:00 but one was free to go along at leisure until 5:00PM, so about  1 o'clock I decided to brave the frigid air and go across the river.  I really wanted to see the Chateau, aka Mons Anderson House which is a high end operational restaurant where there are intimate small dining experiences.  They serve the finest wines and champagnes and the food is exquisite I have been told by others who have enjoyed their meals at this restaurant. So many others were curious about this place as well as I saw  once I got over there, bundled up, walked the short distance from our bank where I parked.  I wore my Austrian wool hat, a cuddle dud under my sweater, knee socks under my riding boots and my packable down winter jacket that has served me so well for two seasons.  Was it really May, brrrr.  

Addition to left of the original structure
All the limestone came from right here, Grandad's Bluff in La Crosse

I was most impressed with the multi million dollars spent renovating the Chateau on Cass and fascinated with it's history.  I was appalled at some of the people on this self guided tour and applaud the Ewesr, owners for being gracious and opening the business to curious folks,  and yet, I wonder, have these people never been to any historic home?  Although Ms. Ewers detailed the history and the saga of this place they call home with their 3 children and invited people to walk, she shared it is and has been a work in progress, attributing the massive costs already to maintaining the historic integrity of this beauty. 

Ms Ewers tour guide and owner, notice the parquet floor
in one of the downstairs dining rooms

 She invited people to stroll throughout the entire place leisurely, as all rooms including the kitchen were open, with exception of the family's private living quarters, yet, anyone with an ounce of decorum would know not to touch paintings, the fine crystal, the wines, etc.  People, are so tiresome as some roamed and touched any and everything and then some who were more feeble, complained about the stairs, really, I thought.  WTH did you think it's an 1800's structure, why are you here if you cannot walk stair cases.  It is definitely a place I will want to dine for something special, perhaps taking advantage of their limousine pick up service as well for an anniversary.  

This was sponsored  by the Downtown La Crosse  association of merchants, amidst the graduations of the UW  underway at the convention center and other weekend events. From their brochure here is a synopsis of this home:  F. Mons Anderson House 410 Cass Street

(Le Chateau Restaurant) 1854, 1878 Guided Tours all day

One of the finest examples of mid-nineteenth century residential architecture in western Wisconsin. The home is a rare blend of Gothic Revival and Italian Villa styles rendered in locally quarried limestone. The home has a fascinating history; from a peak of late Victorian era opulence in the late 19th century, to neglect and near ruin by the later part of the 20th century, to its current state of complete restoration and recognition as one of the most historic and architecturally significant homes in the city of La Crosse. Not all areas handicap accessible . 

These 2 photos are of one of the ladies rooms on the first floor, opulence

When the Ewers bought the Chateau several years ago now, t
he owner from the 1980's had  used it as a bed and breakfast,
left only chandeliers when he moved away.  This
is but one downstairs, notice the ceiling too.

One of the fireplaces, this one in what is now
the library where space is available for larger
dining parties.
 

More photos are on my Facebook page where I posted directly about this event last week and then shared my pictures. I really tried too get photos without the people.  Finally I left after thanking them and learning about the availability of the limousine service for special events.  I detest crowds and so I did not venture down to the downstairs, basement, aka where the bar and salon will open this summer, down this wrought iron staircase.  I did not want to meet someone going down when I was coming up, no room to pass, etc.  But be sure I intend to return to at least sample some wonderful wine and appetizer.

Springtime blooms in our Region

Taken from my passenger side, along the Mississippi 

This area is part of the Driftless region or often we hear, Coulee Region.  I thought the term Coulee odd, the only reference I had previously was related to the  Chinese coulees who worked building the western railroads back in the 1840's in CA.  I learned here the Coulee is the bluffs along the Mississippi.  From Wikipedia, here is a summary of: Driftless Area or Paleozoic Plateau is a region in the American Midwest noted mainly for its deeply carved river valleys. While primarily in southwestern Wisconsin, it includes areas of southeastern Minnesota, northeastern Iowa and extreme northwestern Illinois. ...Retreating glaciers leave behind silt, clay, sand, gravel, and boulders called drift. Glacial drift includes unsorted material called till and layers deposited by meltwater streams called outwash...Overall, the region is characterized by an eroded plateau with bedrock overlain by varying thicknesses...the river valleys are deeply dissected. The bluffs lining this reach of the Mississippi River currently climb to nearly 600 feet (180 m). In Minnesota, Karst topography is found throughout the Driftless area. This is characterized by caves and cave systems, disappearing streams, blind valleys, underground streams, sinkholes, springs, and cold streams. Disappearing streams occur where surface waters sinks down into the earth through fractured bedrock or a sinkhole, either joining an aquifer, or becoming an underground stream. Blind valleys are formed by disappearing streams and lack an outlet to any other stream. Sinkholes are the result of the collapse of the roof of a cave, and surface water can flow directly into them. Disappearing streams can re-emerge as large cold springs. Cold streams with cold springs as their sources are noted as superb trout habitat. 

Flowering tree at the Y

But enough about the topography, what I want to share today are some of the beautiful blooms around town. I think because we have four seasons, that spring is all the more appreciated and living here, each year as the green reveals and the blooms start, I cannot be sure if it's my favorite season or if I prefer summer, or fall. One of my friends said today, "gotta go thru winter to really know spring." Perhaps that's the key, even if there is sunshine in winter, we miss the green and blooms. This has not been as wet a spring as last year, and some blooms are later some earlier, but the show of more flowers daily and the wafting scents of the lilacs, apple blossoms as we work out doors cannot be beat. The reddish and pinkish flowering crabapple trees are abundant around town and so lovely right now. However today we are enjoying a spring drizzle and rain predicted for a couple days, so most of the flowers will give way to leaves only within a couple days. Walking amidst and by these spring blooms all around town, up the hills renews one's soul when walking.

Two homes down, almost to the end of our cul de sac,
 starting our hike around

Downtown La Crescent, along the highway,

 

Red bud tree starting

Along Elm St, main drag. One of the few
fences around.  This homeowner has
cultivated mounds of  phlox

One shrub which I became fond of as the first to show it's blooms in early spring in Northern CA was the flowering quince. Oddly, that is uncommon here but one home along Elm has a flowering quince, which I am thrilled to see each year. I do not know why these are not grown locally. I know that I do miss the dogwoods that flower in PA this time of year, the local dogwoods are nothing like the PA dogwoods. There is a shrub locally that I actually laughed at when someone told me it was a dogwood, but then I know the real thing. 

The only flowering quince I've found locally

Flowering crabapples at elementary school

Nature's artwork on a stump

The fungi above caught my eye. This time of year many locals go out into the woods to hunt morel mushrooms which are a rare delicacy. I have not engaged in that activity because I would not want to pick poisonous mushrooms. But those who find them often sell them to be transported to Chicago and New York where the finest restaurants serve them; they get a good price, $50 or more per pound. I rely on someone sharing with me. I had never heard of morels until we moved here and frankly, yes they are good sauteed in butter, but to me not any better than other 'shrooms.

Massive old Weeping cherry &
   flowering crab apple

May time walking, anything lovelier?

Finally I share the lilacs, wish you could smell them. The white's I call Betty's Whites. They are down the block from us, planted by Betty, an elderly lady who still lives in her big home and tends her flowers. Although she tells me she doesn't do near the lawn work that she has in the past. Well, she's ener. titled at 89, she hires someone to mow fo her, but like me she trusts no one else with her flowers. Gardeners live longer, maybe it's being outdoors in fresh air and sunshine, maybe it's the physical activity required or the enjoyment when the results are seen.  

Betty's Whites

 

Our lilac hedge

Wishing happy mothers day has problems.

This is a first,  I have never before shared my Facebook posts  on this blog, because I get so much more feedback on FB from friends.  However, today is wistful and here is my  brief:

  From a friend's page with my story. It's why we should give away smiles, they cost nothing & can make someone's day. I always try to say something cheerful to cashiers, salesclerks, etc. They earn their money dealing with people. You just never know.  

.This is so true, today's evidence---each Sunday I pick up a Sunday Pioneer Press, MN newspaper at the local gas & foods place & I get to know the cashiers. We always converse weekly about our day, the week we had or? Today the young man who's been there about 6months, about whom I know some things such as he would love to have a motor home & travel like we do, he's had some health issues the past year, including when he was gone a couple weeks, hospitalized with kidney stones. This morning he greeted me with, "is it safe to wish you a good mother's day." I replied, "sure, thanks but why do you ask?" He said, "Well one customer just yelled at me because she is not a mother." Me, "aww, that's too bad. Maybe she was having a bad day." He,"She usually is grumpy, not like you." Me laughing,"Well you must get all kinds in here." He, "yes, but there is something in your eyes, can I ask if everything is ok." Me, "oh it's nothing, this day is bittersweet for me, my mother died 12 years ago, my only son died almost 8 years ago, I never liked the commercial Hallmark card aspect of this holiday. That's about it." He, "oh I'm sorry, should have known." Me, "how could you know, & please do not worry about that." He, "your eyes, there is something deep there, I should know. I lost my children, my son too several years ago, and my daughter 7 years ago. It's always in the eyes." Me thru tears,, "shoots, now I'm going to puddle up my face" he reached over, grabbed my hand & said, "you have a real good day, now I know another reason I like you." I told him I was sorry about his family and said,"It never gets easy, but at least the jagged edges scab over & it doesn’t hurt so much all the time. You have a blessed day now."

Most people not only do not know the trials of the person near them, I say that many people here where I live don't know much about anyone unless they have known them all their lives, common around these parts.  Even when they do know they ignore, so different from living in CA.  Maybe because there we were from everywhere maybe because here they have been only here all there lives.  Don't they realize how that fells?  Guess not.  They don't ask, do they think that is  being polite or do they just not give a fig?  I admit it is why I find  people here cold, not open.The neighbor on one side of me waves, is cordial if I see her outside, yet I have never been invited into her home.  This is very strange to me.  Whatever, they are enclosed with themselves.  Maybe it is left for souls like me to  make head roads.  Yes more and more I appreciate that I outreach to others.    

I copied my post here from FB because I wanted to remember this. 

Short attention span

Oh look out, trouble ahead for the likes of me.  I have always been fidgety, I guess today they would diagnose me with Attention Deficit Disorder.  My relatives lovingly referred to it as having ants in my pants, I fidgeted, especially when in church--mass was in Latin or Polish, and a child like me paid little attention, sitting still and absorbing was not something I practiced. Back then my grandma never would have thought of bringing along a book to distract me or a toy, no sirree, I was to be at mass and that was that.  

Today, I can get easily distracted, for example when I set out to tackle a domestic chore and navigate to the computer, or even my tablet, checking Facebook or any number of things. Or when I am trying to sort out old photos, discarding most because why keep them?  I find I can begin to browse, thinking about when this or that happened.  Pretty soon hours have gone by and I have accomplished little outside my head.  This was supposed to be a project for me this winter when we did not snowbird, I would sort out the room wide mess I have downstairs to discard old photos.  I have made very minimal progress.  Fortunately this room is downstairs and not needed so not used and that allows me to keep the mess out.  I used to search for photos for something on Ancestry, to post or whatever so I began to just leave them spread out, why have to pack away and unpack.  So there is the mess.  

Just today I was catching up waiting for a load of laundry to finish and went on to reading on the Elderly Blog, 
http://www.timegoesby.net/weblog/2016/04/crabby-old-lady-and-the-internet-of-junk.html

There was a comment about attention spans growing shorter, that a gold fish has a longer attention span.  Wow!  One of my bosses once told me I had the attention span of a cocker spaniel, which had me bust out in laughter, but he was right.  It served me well in career days, multi tasking worked to my benefit then.  Not so much today, I start and can wander off elsewhere especially if the task I began is not appealing to me. Here's the blog writer's comments:

 "The Telegraph reported earlier this year:

"According to scientists, the age of smartphones has left humans with such a short attention span even a goldfish can hold a thought for longer.

"Researchers surveyed 2,000 participants in Canada and studied the brain activity of 112 others using electroencephalograms.

"The results showed the average human attention span has fallen from 12 seconds in 2000, or around the time the mobile revolution began, to eight seconds.

"Goldfish, meanwhile, are believed to have an attention span of nine seconds."

Did you get that? Goldfish for god's sake"

 Reading this statistic and relating because I enjoy using my smart phone or tablet and posting fast to Facebook, I could see trouble ahead.  For someone like me, with a life history of attention span shortages, what is next?