No partridge but other birds, Merry Christmas from Dixie

Annual posting of Christmas tidings and best to all....for those who do not celebrate Christmas, season's best as well....

This year we tried to do something different, be on the road south before Christmas heading for the sunnier south; we  barely did so.  I was too busy with too many activities yet again including a hair appointment December 16th which I could not miss.  Well, so then we could leave the 17th?  Nope, again, I was too hectic.  I thought not decorating  our home  as we would not be there would add all sorts of time, but not so.  I tried to set up small decor to travel along, such as our small tinsel tree, but left hose behind in my skeltered readying. I did miss getting out some decor that I only see once a year, a and although I do far less than the displays I used to put out in the past. If the  2nd market ever returns I have a massive collection of exquisite and pricey decor to sell, but for now  they reside in the closet until this time of year.  I found that the limited shopping I do, gift wrapping, mailing with all those 80 some Christmas cards we send consumes lots of time and continuing my physical activities all morning at the Y consumes hours in  my day. 

Cardinal in a pear tree this morning  a red
splash on  my walk  toward the beach.  

   Nevertheless we got on the road on December 20 and send this from  Bay St Louis, where we will stay until January 2 then proceed on to Florida. We'd have liked to stay 3 weeks, but in the holiday tradition there is no room at Bay Hideaway,  this RV inn.  Fortunately I am neither pregnant nor riding on a donkey and so we will go to Pensacola where we will spend a week  before moving on to Tallahassee, then to Tampa for the Fleetwood RV Rally.  At least we have a home over holidays.  We arrived here on Monday, December 22 ahead of the torrential rains that swept across the Gulf. There was another tornado near Hattiesburg devastating the holiday for  many. 

This holiday on the road enhances my independent perspective, and gratitude for what we do have, health and comfort to travel and reason to do so--curiosity. So far, we have driven 1209 miles in 19 hours and 45 minutes driving time, spent $627.26 for diesel fuel.  

The local Christmas stork at the conservancy marsh

Our  coach tree and reindeer
Thanks to good friend Carlie
I left the tinsel tree and intended
decorations at home.  Proves good friends
come through and sense what's
needed, they care and are aware. 

Beware the ides of March

That would be tomorrow,the ides, most famously recalled in the soothsayer's warning to Julius Caesar,  but perhaps tomorrow will arrive sans snow and full of sun.  For anyone unfamiliar, Google the ides and there is  a plethora of information and websites.  Today there was a pale cast to the sky amplified with an early AM phone call of not so welcome tidings, pre Ides.  Yesterday I had my annual mammography and this morning the radiologist office called to require my returned presence--my left boob is in question, recalled, if you will.  This has never happened before to me, so while I am keeping a positive front, I am concerned.  I have learned that 1 in 10 women have a recall on their routine mammography screening. 



Mayo clinic mammo photo  I have never seen this technician



The clinician  yesterday seemed not as about business as  what I've had in the past, she neither squeezed, compressed nor twisted me in standing and sideways positions as I have been  done to before.  She took only one frontal and one side shot per boob.  I am accustomed to more agony and photos and so perhaps I must return for my fair share.  

When the unwelcome call came that I would have to go to La Crosse where they have greater equipment, I  joked, "what my boob has outgrown Onalaska?  I have had no change in cup or bra size"  Both clinics are just across the river but I have preferred Onalaska, the newest.  While the clinician laughed, she proceeded to offer other times for my left boob recall.    I am concerned and thinking of what ifs simultaneous to making a joke and shrugging it off.  After all, why worry now, do not borrow trouble which can come time enough.  Still, my left boob, favored side on which I sleep, bigger of the pair, is in question; I have had no symptoms nor concerns.  I am blessed to have Mayo clinic and a doctor who is a professional worry wart and while it could be nothing I think about the women whom I buried after they lost their battles with breast cancer and I think about survivors and pink today and I say, "time will tell, wait and see...."    
A large study published in the New England Journal of Medicine proved that isn’t the case.  All women have a 5% to 15% chance of being recalled. It doesn’t mean you have breast cancer. In fact, the odds are against it.   Radiologists are looking for two main signs of cancer: mass (tumors) and calcification. When a woman gets regular annual mammograms the radiologist compares the current year’s views with last year’s. If anything looks different or develops, returns for additional views or studies are taken to tease out what is being seen. Women develop benign tumors which may grow larger but do not spread to other parts of the body and calcifications all the time. These are quite common and include cysts, fibroadenomas, and solid masses. Calcifications occur most often simply as a result of the natural aging process from the degeneration of tissue"

I think of that old comical Mammogram poem that has made the email rounds for ages and copied in old xerox machines  prior to that.  It is online for the looking but I recall some lines long ago memorized, .... For years and years they told me, "Be careful of your breasts."   Don't ever squeeze or bruise them, and give them monthly tests.  So, I heeded all their warnings.....and protected them by law.... Guarded them very carefully, and always wore a bra.....   and on it goes.....I do not want to repeat it in entirety because I find it tedious to have reiterations, just as some late comers to email repeat and recirculate old articles, jokes, fables....so I refrain. 

Uncle Carl  Third or Fourth grade

Another thing, the month of March now feels

Aunt Jinx, Virginia
Second grade photo 

strange because I have two less  birthday cards to send; two cards for which I would search to find just the right sentiment.  

 March had birthdays of my late Aunt Jinx and Uncle Carl.  She was born March 1, 1921 and would have been 92 this year.  She was mom's older sister.  Uncle Carl, Mom's older brother was born March 21, 1918 and would have been 95 this year.   She died in 2009 and he in 2011.  The last of my elderlies, the last of the old family.  Now I am the old family. 

Love this photo of my late  aunt and uncle taken on one of my visits, June 2008, sitting on his porch, their lives went downhill after this visit.  Notice both reflecting in the same pose, they laughed later, he saying, "oh she always copied me."  Isn't it always something.....hold the good thoughts.

Friends are the family we choose

A good blog  friend sent us the most lovely Christmas card, Bea,  yes you did, with a wonderful photo of a cardinal on a snowy branch. with handwritten lines, "friends are the family we choose."  So very true.   Here we are two empty nesters anticipating  more of the care free life and at a time when we  should be free of responsibilities tying us down.     I miss my old folks, or maybe it's that now I am the oldest survivor,  the family historian.  For whoever cares.  That's the point, hardly anyone does care. We have been thinking more and more about things in general this year and how to begin to really live our lives as we choose, not by obligations dictated by the needs of others.   Tomorrow is promised to no one. Good friends recently reminded us of that; another good friend  has suffered strokes and is now debilitated.  We have been blessed with good health.    



December  2012 Florence right seated, blue and gray
 in the SNF with Santa, the annual Christmas party.
For someone who will be 96 in January, not bad.  

 Our retirement move here from CA was to provide a better quality of  life for ourselves. However we had another problem, that remains with us, MIL,  who continues going rather strong physically just as she continues further along the dementia road at almost 96 .  Wherever we moved we had to bring her along and  at the time she still had a sister, aunt Marie living here so she was amenable to return  home to MN.

Florence in the middle uprooting  Jerry and his sister,  Dianne
from MN  for CA 1950

Jerry is a saint he deals with everything without any assistance only from me,  although he has two siblings, neither of whom are involved and neither of whom would be even if they lived closer.  In 1950, shortly after the sudden death of her mother and despite advice and pleadings to not do so, MIL  left MN with Jerry and his sister for CA , to  marry Lyman.   Jerry left CA  returning  to MN alone to live with his grandfather and then enlisted in the Air force at 17, stretching his age to enlist. After Lyman died in 1990, MIL became Jerry's responsibility. She has been one of those women having to be cared for, looked after by someone else all her life and it has worked for her.

Florence and Lyman their 25th anniversary in CA

My career in long term care along with my family gave me an abundance of expertise and experience yet it is tiresome.  Jerry's  full sister has been dead for several years but the other two, his halves, the  younger Larson children,  roll along merrily without any responsibility for their mother. I suspect if they think of anything, could be that they will not inherit the $$ they thought they would; it is being paid to the SNF which has enhanced our lives. Still it is the  overseeing, frequent check in visits, follow ups with medical issues, appointments, my doing laundry, keeping her in clothes, buying, and on it goes.  We have more freedom to travel today yet hesitated to plan too far ahead, the back of our minds nag,  "what if...."   It makes me laugh out loud when some of the "family" say that they would like to come to see her, but then they never give up any part of their lives or plans and so they merely chatter along.  So many excuses.

But slowly we are working through this trial just as  we have others in our lives. Today we booked a 20 day land tour and cruise package to Alaska for August 2013 John Hall's Alaska, the Klondike, the works.  It is expensive, but we are also looking forward to spending our  hard saved money while we can.  Here is the link to the tour package by a local MN company out of Lake City.  They will even babysit our car and take us to and from Minneapolis for the  connecting flight.  http://www.kissalaska.com/   Destined to become good friends,  that's what happens when you lack family, you choose friends. 

Our own plans are going to take first place, if we do not do this for ourselves,  there is no one else who will.  Besides all that, we deserve it in spades. It's a new attitude.  Make way for us.  This is our time of life,  our friends have assured us of this repeatedly.

Ben Franklin nails it

Family visitors, from CA

"Guests like fish smell after three days...." Benjamin Franklin wrote in Poor Richard's Almanac  along with  other wisdom and wit.  I have known fish to smell on first contact and the same with company within the first day.  On the other hand, I have known fish without any odor and company that could move in and stay as long as they wanted... This visit from family is a mix. 

I call this,  Checkin' it out online!

Jerry's younger brother and family (wife and 13 year old daughter) are here from Riverside, CA to visit their  95 year old mother who is in the local nursing home.  It is their first visit in four years so it is  a good thing they came to see her, although I bet she makes it to 100.   Both BIL (brother in law) and wife are high school teachers and exemplify why there is limited hope for education.  they are dedicated  liberals, a union supported lifestyle and of course political discussions are off limits here for this visit as we are more conservative.  But somehow these opposing viewpoints bubble into conversation.   and then it  truly becomes a fish of a different odor. BIL preaches equality, or tax the rich and make it go farther.  What?  Farther than where?  This stinks.  SIL is a nice person who finds life amusing all the time,  chatters constantly and translates whatever is happening in front of her simultaneously to whoever is nearby.  Sometimes this is amusing sometimes not.   BIL well, he kind of ambles while the wife flits.  Everything is an adventure, an experience to SIL.  Like the clothes line I use becoming a photo op because she"s never used one and thought Sophia (daughter) must experience this. We've done some interesting things like the trip to the Shrine of Guadalupe in the hills of La Crosse, dinner at Tom Sawyers with cheese curds and home made chips, and local sights.   But this is the small town, not big cities, they will compensate by spending nearly a week in Chicago from here,  really.  To each their own .
 
Then there is their 13 year old who is a very quiet big girl.  They do everything in a trio, or in a herd, my term.  The niece masks her boredom well but when I suggest that they might consider bringing along a friend for her on travels, they gasped.  What and dilute attention?   I feel some sympathy for this child forced to hang with old people for two weeks and that includes us as well as her 50 something year old parents.  We see underway another stifling of any independence or ability to think or fend for oneself.  Mom  hovers with consistent advice of what to do say, not do,  even where and when to sit.  This morning I turned my head to laugh when mom said to her, "Sophia say good morning to everyone...."  "Good morning everyone" responds Sophia.  Is this  the new way that families behave or is this a late stage parenthood clinging to adolescence to perpetuate and define itself?  I admit I do not understand it this business of being the child"s friend, their cohort instead of their parent.  But then I'm done with all that.

I am tired because the weather had been unbearably hot and  this visit  has meant  my thinking for three additional people who are bewildered at best and self confident in ignorance at the worst when visiting the SNF  and MIL, what to do/not do/ and so on.  Gads, you are supposed to be educated people, read up on dementia.  One of SIL's funniest  and yet sincere questions was  "how do they float" when seeing the huge  barges filled with grain being shoved down the Mississippi.   Some of these questions need no answers.  We did have a  fun time at the Winona Great River Shakespeare Festival Saturday evening where I laughed for almost two hours at "The Complete Works of William Shakespeare, Abridged" a spoof, a farce and all over ribald hilarity. Jerry opted to stay home and spend the evening watching Olympics, but I did enjoy it. 

To top it off I had a dermatologist appointment today to remove a growth from my left shoulder top, not a cyst, not a mole, nothing malignant they are sure, but an unsightly and uncomfortable lump that was unsightly and  annoying.  I can spend the rest of the day icing and lounging, chilling.  We have plenty of room in our home, beds and baths for all, but some how I feel older when it comes to tending to it all......maybe that's it I'm older.  It's  not easy and so it goes.... or I need to adopt Jerry's attitude, "expect nothing and not be disappointed..."

Here stands Sophia with 3 generations of underwear,
hers, her mom's and her grandma"s (MIL) whose laundry
I do while we are at home not traveling.



I conclude this post withhout further airing of dirty laundry! 

4th of July Sepia Saturday Week 30

It took some rummaging through photos  to find  these 4th of July family celebrations.  Growing up I recall we spent most 4ths on family picnics at the old swimming hole but no one took photos of those events so they exist only in our  memories.  However  way back the family used to take photos whenever they gathered and I found  this collection in my Aunt Virginia's albums.  She passed away last July so it seems  fitting to show her on the  fourth.  She, mom, their sister Francie and all their cousins who were  daughters of their Aunts Mary and Veronica (my grandmother's sisters)  spent most holidays together. My grandmother and her sisters were all daughters of Frank Ostrowski of whom I have shared other sepias.  They took more photos in the summer, good weather, outside as likely they did not have very sophisticated cameras;  I remember seeing some of those old "brownie" cameras and the film that had to be developed, waiting a good week or two for photo results, but I digress.

We start out with  July 4th 1942 taken at Aunt Mary  Janosky's home  where  the families gathered.  Here on the porch are Stella Janosky, Josephine Roginsky, my Mom-Helen Konesky who was not yet married to my father though they were dating, my Aunt Virginia Konesky with her back to them returning to the kitchen and  Helen Janosky leaning over the rail.  What I find amusing is that they are all dressed, with aprons  covering their clothes and even wearing  high heels.  It must have been a dress up gathering!  Mom appears to have some one's military hat on and Stella appears to have just removed it from her head and is fixing her hair.  Likely Joe Janosky, one of aunt Mary's son's (cousin  & brother to the girls)  was home on leave  because my aunt  wrote on the back, "Helen with Joe's hat." Maybe they dressed up because one of their own was home over the 4th and they honored him.

Now it's 1943 and  four of the girl cousins have traveled to Lake Erie, PA where it might have been cool because they are wearing coats and jackets, but at last I have a 4th of July photo with flags prominent.   This was titled "near the lake on the  fourth" the cousins are Aunt Mary's girls-- Helen, Stella and Jean Janosky and my Aunt Virginia Konesky.   I have no idea what they were doing nor how they got away and it must have been quite the adventure to travel this 100 miles from home to celebrate.    They are still dressed up heels and all.

But now it's 1944 and this is my favorite 4th  photo because these gals mean business! I find it striking because here again the girl cousins of the Ostrowski clan are together again, all the men are off to war. The girls are hanging tough!  I also have always found this photo sad,  because  as you can notice some one's leg sticking out the back on the right, that was my Mom, pregnant with me having just lost her husband June 20th.  I guess she did not want to celebrate climbing the flag pole with the girls, at least that's what I surmise.  My aunt said they  surrounded her anyway and dragged her along to all the family events.  It was a good support system for a young widow. I wish she had at least  gotten in the front for the photo shoot to see me in progress but  back in that day it didn't happen.  Mom appears to still be dressed up but notice than now all the  cousins are wearing trousers and all appear to be the same pattern.  By this time most of them were working in the plate glass factory, doing their Rosie the Riveter like jobs.  At the bottom of the flag pole, Jean Janosky, then  Loretta Roginski (hand in the air), my Aunt Francie Konesky who would leave after this and join the army herself, and  Helen Roginsky with my Mom, Helen behind her, now up the  pole from the bottom,  Helen Janosky, my aunt Virginia again, and Stella Janosky on top.  Note that within the family  all three sisters had a daughter named Helen, I don't know how they kept things straight.  My grandmother said she named Mom after her stepmother, Helen, who was Frank O's 3rd wife and I do not know if Aunt Mary and Vernie did the same with their daughters.  The name Helen goes back to Poland in our genealogy.

I am now part of the Sepia's as in November I had arrived on this planet and here in July 4 1945 I'm in  my Kewpie  doll baby pose ready to become the subject of many photos.  This 4th finds me with my Uncle Carl who is about ready to ship  out to Europe and  got to come home for a day on his way to Europe.  You recall my uncle Carl for a couple weeks of Sepias.  He was USArmy  809th Tank Destroyers, a sniper and  such a good shot that he became an instructor but he was now to go to the front himself. The skills with the gun likely came from growing up hunting with his father. 




July 4th 1948 and in this photo I am ready for the festivities, squinting into the sunshine as has been mentioned before,  hair combed up  and back and bows holding it.  In other photos my hair is all over my head and I'm not so neat and clean.  My grandmother Rose stands behind me in the door way.

Happy 4th everyone, those are the only Sepia 4th photos I could find.

As always to read other great posts by this international community click on the title above to get to the Sepia mainpage..