Mother Nature's Car Wash, rainy day humor scamming the scammer

For the past week I have been meaning to get the car washed, especially on those lovely balmy days yet  I did not make it to the car wash.  Today we are enjoying a wet soaker all day rain and on my way to the Y and Zumba I remembered the late  Marian Wilson, a grand, eloquent elderly

1997 Florence (MIL seated) with
Marian Wilson, standing

 woman  from Newcastle who lived in the senior mobile home court and  befriended Jerry's mother when we moved her there. Here is a photo of Marian in January 1997 at our home where we hosted an 80th birthday party for Florence, MIL.   Marian was a no nonsense, take charge independent lady who took pride in ensuring  her surroundings, home and attire were always neat and pretty, tidy, just as she kept herself, nicely made up and "all put together" as she said.  She kept her car sparkling clean all the time as well.  One day when I went by MIL's it was raining cats and dogs and there was Marian in raincoat and rain  boots squirting something over her car which she had pulled out of the carport nearly onto the road that wound past her home.  I stopped to ask what she was doing, and she  informed me she was using "Mother Nature's Free Car wash" and just to help it along, she was squirting Joy dish soap over the car, she offered to do mine too.  Marian was in her 80's and it was all I could do to not burst into laughter but I knew better, she would have likely squirted me with dish soap.   Now today I did not squirt dish soap over the car but it  got a good washing as well as road dirt on my drive back and forth so it will still need a car wash soon. I can hear Marian from the beyond, "back it out of the garage and  squirt it with Joy, use Mother Nature."

Meantime today back home, I never answer the phone when the caller ID shows,  "unknown" or "unavailable" or especially 800 numbers, but right after I ate lunch I was standing near the phone and picked it up to be greeted by a "hello Mam" an East Indian sing song voice of a man who  claimed to e calling as a Microsoft contractor with a windows server about my computer (I almost laughed out loud).  I asked him "what computer?" to which he  responded "Mam do you have your computer on?"  And again I  asked"What, which one and mumbled"  I smelled a rat and decided to amuse myself so began my time scamming the scammer...he continued to explain something about my computer "rejectifications" (no kidding that was the word he used) to microsoft updates.  I continued with my act as tho I'm a non techie old lady saying, "what, is my computer doing...who are you??   huh...." he kept saying "don't worry mam,  I am going to fix, can you please turn on your computer?" I knew I had him and said it would take me a long time to go to the room with the computer,  that I am slow, meantime I was Googling uh huh..sure enough a scam. .I acted even stupider responding to his questions..and said, "oh my computer is not turning on..." He tried to assure me he had time to wait and I should not to worry he would help me. He said my computer was slow because of a virus and he would help me.  I told him it was old and always was slow, just like me.  (Ha ha)  He continued with his sing song solicitation..that he got my number from the microsoft  customer service and was calling to  get this taken right care of today, he continued I was infected, the virus "is blocking everything...and Microsoft cannot call you...I am calling from off shore."  .(.BS this fool thinks I am falling for this) After stalling and mumbling more feeble like nonsense to him and then saying  the computer doesn't work, I will have to get help...and his responding "well mam can you turn on another computer I can help you from it." ( In my questions to him I told him I have 5 computers,,actutally it's 4) I got tired of toying with him and hung up. He called right back and apologized for being cut off, this time he identified himself as "Jerry" ..I cut him off saying "Back off you  jerk off, this is a scam get lost before I report you to the FCC" and I hung up, no more call back. 

Please be aware, these clowns have been pulling this stunt on the unsuspecting or under informed for about 4 years. Here is but one answer that Microsoft has on their website..." It is a SCAM!!! Microsoft does not do that nor do they have partners who do that nor do they hire sub-contractors or people or even get volunteers to do that. There are probably thousands of such companies out there doing this every day - we get two or three messages like this (or more) every day asking about it. You are the lucky ones who recognized the scam enough not to be sucked into it and end up with identify theft, infections, hacking of your computer, convincing you to buy software or services you either don't need or that don't really exist at all, and all sorts of nefarious tricks. You'd be surprised by how many contact us AFTER they realized they'd been suckered asking what to do. Do not waste time talking to these people, do not give them any personal information whatsoever, do not be tricked by what they may get you to see on the computer - in fact, don't do anything they suggest on your computer or even visit websites they recommend, and for heaven's sake don't give them access to your computer."  My Google search shows this particular scam has been around since at least 2010, so nothing new out there and they operate by WCField's philosophy, "there is a sucker born every minute."  They spring up like dandelions in the spring and change their business names and locations, BE AWARE and never answer their questions....or take some time to amuse yourself as I did today not having much else pressing.  This is good humor for a rainy day and we are laughing about it here....maybe I will begin to answer more of these calls and act dumber. who knows I could try speaking Spanguish and or my version of Polish to them.  Pretty soon they will avoid this landline phone number like the plague, wouldn't that be a treat to be blacklisted by scam artists. By the way the phone number on this call was 888-505-3020 both times.