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| Us, Jerry and me May 5, 2018 at the LaCrosse Symphony |
I meant to post excerpts from our 2018 annual greeting letter, but truth, I sent few cards and greetings this year. You will know why as you read, 2018 has not been a good year for us, never the less, we made it and look ahead, always ahead to far better times!
“Hope Smiles from the threshold of the year to come, Whispering ‘it will be happier’…” so wrote Alfred Lord Tennyson.
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| Me rearranging some of the study, what else to toss or donate? |
"Merry Christmas, 2018
This was our year of trips canceled, hospitalizations, dental and
medical treatments, surgeries. Last December I canceled our snowbird reservations
due to my sudden tooth ache, an old (30 years?) root canal went bad, infected, antibiotics healed
it but I was reluctant to travel and end up looking for dental care in a
strange place with no way to know if it would return. I am less adventurous than some of my friends who urged me to not cancel but just go! Ended up with oral surgeon for extraction, early
February. So, began process of months for healing, consults, dental implant and
crown, ending in October. Fortunately I did not need a bone graft and healed well but those periodic appointments
kept us home. I used that time to clear out a lot of clutter, collection of old magazines, etc from the downstairs study. As much progress as I made there is always more to do.
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| Grand daughter Janine and husband John and their dog |
Easter Eve, Jerry ended up in the Emergency Room, severe
gut pain,determined it was from adhesions from his former surgery >35 years ago
in CA. The surgeon cleared the adhesion
with a probe, avoiding surgery. That was
a 2 week + hospitalization, culminating in canceling our travel plans to CA for
grand daughter’s wedding in April. Very
disappointing.
Jerry had a bout of laryngitis April which led to an ENT
specialist treatment, injection to cure a bowed vocal cord. During that, diagnostic scans revealed a suspicious
spot on his upper left lung, almost under collar bone. Antibiotics followed and all seemed well. He
has some lung fibrosis which the pulmonary specialist has been watching for
years. Even the Mayo Rochester specialists thought it was an infection, so we were relieved.
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| along the hiking trail up Devil's Tower I made the trek alone and was absolutely blown away |
In August we took a short motor home trip to an RV Rally in
Spearfish, SD a wonderful area with many hiking opportunities. But the altitude and the
latent smoke from the Canadian wildfires bothered Jerry with shortness
of breath, and coughing. So rather than proceeding on to Denver area as we planned we returned home. We hope to return to the Spearfish area another time, there is a wonderful RV Resort there and so much to see. Because Jerry was not feeling right he did not attempt the trail hike up the mountain and back down but waited for me at the Ranger station. I was glad I did it, but as I said, want to return to the area. The American Coach Association RV Rally was awesome and we were able to meet interesting fellow RV travelers and renew friendships.
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| Just one of the views from the trail |
End of September we
flew to Arlington, VA for a gathering of my American World War II Orphans
Network, ceremonies at Arlington and the WWII Memorial, banquets, and some
sightseeing. We were in DC during the
Cavanaugh hearing protestors nonsense which interfered with a few plans.
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| WWII Memorial DC, for my father and all the others, my AWON siblings, we all lost our fathers in WWII |
Mid October more diagnosis for Jerry, as Mayo persisted,
ultimately led to consults with oncology, potential treatments and surgeon who
recommended a lung biopsy. Extensive lab tests disclosed the spot was an
elusive cancer that needed to come out.
The surgeon advised he was well and healthy enough for surgery, done
November 7, took over 6 hours in 2 phases; removed all the cancer, confined to
that sole nodule, upper left lung lobe, all lymph nodes were clear. His son Al
flew here from CA for a couple days and surgery and back home day after. Jerry came home to recover Nov 13, my birthday, and had been healing
ahead of expectation. He needs oxygen at
times, though less now. Most of his pain
is tolerable, achiness from healing 2 ribs that were broken for the surgery as
well as cutting through his back muscle and removing a rib. (I asked the
surgeon what kind of person would be made from that rib? He laughed and said, “that’s a good Catholic
question!”). They recommended 3 follow up chemo treatments as a precaution lest
there be an errant cell. It began December 18 then every 3 weeks. So far, his major bad after effect, extreme fatigue, depression, so his mid-day naps continue. Oncology Dr believes he can handle it and has
many good years yet ahead. (Update January 2019,,,he has decided to forego the remaining 2 chemo doses. The first treatment set him back on the healing path, caused him to lose weight and zapped him of energy and enthusiasm. He declared that was not living but merely existing, and I know that was true. After our conference with the Oncologist January 7 where she assured him that she could decrease the dose, eliminate the steroids that led to the bottom out chemo crash and she urged him to reconsider over this week. But although I have tried to persuade him to try again, he is determined no more and will just proceed with healing. It is not a simple choice, but one that created ponderance, especially since there is no evidence of cancer. He just cannot bring himself to go through another round of poisoning hell. ) We are fortunate
to live here with Mayo care; lesser doctors would have missed this. December 7,
he had a severe spasm cough which ended
up with severe rib pain and a trip to the ER.
There more tests to determine all was ok, healing ribs jolted a nerve
near the fractures, would require him to take strong narcotic pain meds for a
few days. He’d been getting by with
Tylenol. Now off all stuff again. He is
frustrated but I remind him to be thankful.
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| Here we were at a Czech restaurant in Prague, November 2015 |
In November after another unpredictable medical emergency I
lost my last closest high school friend from PA, Carlie with whom I'd gone to Europe for the Christmas markets, Danube river cruise, n
2015. We did not get to PA this year. She & I talked on the phone weekly and I
teased her about ganging up on me with Jerry, told her I was going to come back
and move her here and get a 2 for 1 discount at Mayo. She was hospitalized about
the same time as Jerry, but hers was massive lung cancer throughout bronchials.
No chemo nor surgery possible though she had 9 doses of radiation which did nothing for her. She died a
week before Thanksgiving. She never
married so she was the last of her family.
She was my last lifetime friend whom I could talk to any time. I was and am heartsick. She was previously
healthy and also not a smoker. I considered flying back there but with
treacherous weather, flights, and all I had to handle here I did not; she would
have understood. Every day when Jerry was
in the hospital, he asked about her. I miss her, she was the last long time link of my life someone I could talk to whenever about whatever. I have lost 3 of my dearest friends, never having had a sister they were my sisters. Roberta back in CA so long ago, Sandy another CA just a few years back and now Carlie. We have very few real friends in our lives and I was blessed with a trio, but now all gone.
Days fly by with follow up doctor appointments, I am the
driver. I am learning to do most all the
things, that he has always done other than what we hire like electrician and
snow plowing. During the first light
snow dusting, I shoveled our driveway and front steps, took me 90 minutes with
one break and a lecture from Jerry on how to do this. Hah! Had
an electrician replace all the downstairs fluorescents in suspended ceiling
with LED’s, previously Jerry had replaced some.
Looks good now all done although he grumbled that he could do it later,
I figured just as well get it done and over. We look forward to spring. I’m really busy but so long as we get good days
of sunshine and I can get to the Y to work out life is almost a normal keel. By
the end of the day I am done, I’ve never had insomnia and these days I hit the
pillow and out.
I managed to tackle our 7-foot, artificial Christmas tree
out of its box in the corner of the closet and assemble it., decorated it
although it has all its own LED white lights so that is easy. I like the light in these long winter dark
days and might leave it up until February or March. When Jerry got up from that
nap he could not believe I had done that, he said, “it’s bigger and weighs more
than you.” But I did it! (Update Jan 2019, now all is boxed up and put away, but Jerry had recovered enough to help with the disassembling of the tree back into its 3 parts and repacking it into the box, tying that box up and getting it back into the closet corner.)
I am very late on sending cards, this was a
year of challenges, confirming that aging is
not for sissies.
We are looking forward
to spring. Wishing a Merry
Christmas and Happy New Year. "
So there it is, the events that led to being suspended snowbirds, stuck northward another winter, cancelling all FL reservations. Two weeks ago Jerry felt well enough to venture down the back to the motor home house to check on the rolling castle on wheels, all is good. Ahead, the future, always ahead, do not look back, that never works well.
