Look forward, ever forward, eyes on the prize

Seems to me at times that I have more memories than plans ahead.  As Jerry recovers slowly, we are grateful, but it is slow.  We have had to cancel our plans to attend the American Coach RV Rally in Houston in May.  I just knew that after his pneumonia bout it would not be but he kept assuring me that we were going, he too would like to get out and about.  But finally he faced reality and agreed that I cancel.  I guess all is not lost, there is a waiting list and so someone else will happily take our spot.  I worry and wonder.  And yet I have to chase that feeling away,  looking ahead is the way to be, forward,, ever onward keeping eyes on the prize.  Never weaken for that is defeat.  And do not settle, keep on.

Watching the vertical flakes out the front window

Today our cooler April temps have returned but yesterday we avoided the predicted 3 to 5 inches snow storm.  Our Mississippi River Bluffs shielded us  and the worst of the storm fell south and proceeded east.  Yes the snow came down in big fluffy white flakes, wet and melting as soon as it hit the ground.  Phew!  Just last week I had put my boots  away, cleaned up, into boxes on the closet shelves,  so glad I did not have to retrieve them. I was glad that I was able to get to mass Saturday evening.  I prefer that to Sunday morning mass but sometimes the weather can foil my plans.  

Easter pastel bouquet

To the right is my self purchased Easter pastel bouquet for this year, I am very impressed with it's lasting.  The colors perfectly complemented my pastel bunny vintage Easter tablecloth.   That is another  thing, seems most of  my favorite possessions, used occasionally, are vintage, at least 20-30-40 years old or more.  And that makes me wistful too.  All the time I spent carefully accumulating and keeping in good condition all my treasures and yet there is no one who is or will be interested in them.  I always imagined having grandchildren, relatives or friends to pass things along to, family treasures that I inherited and treasured, all with memories, my own collections, etc., but fate did not go as I planned. 

My vintage Easter bunny tablecloth.

As I got this out this year, I wistfully recall so many Easters years ago setting our table in northern California for family gatherings and so joyfully displaying this tablecloth. Often back then we had huge gatherings, which we always hosted and  most often served buffet style.  Today with just Jerry and myself, I set a fancier table while missing the old times, less work, and not nearly the commotion but also not the fun.  Did I appreciate it fully back then?   I  know as well as reading articles that no one wants your treasures, books, linens, china, crystal, you name it they are not interested.  That's why the stuff shows up at estate sales cheap.  So I try to enjoy and use things periodically and  little by little I am  donating things when the time is right.  Perhaps not my most treasured, but certainly am clearing out, benefiting the church rummage sale, where someone will get a big bargain and I will have cleared out some. It was not too many years ago that I sought bargains at such sales, now I do not even go there.  I do not want to be tempted.  One recent treasure that I donated was my late aunt Jinx's immaculate, beautiful sunbeam stainless steel electric fry pan.  I brought it back here when she passed in 2009 and  we cleared her home.  I should have left it for the sale, but I thought maybe I would use it.  She took such care with all her belongings.  Yet that  electric pan has sat on the bottom of the linen closet in the hallway ever since.  I had forgotten about it until I saw it while moving everything off the closet floor to prepare for new carpet.  I debated, but talked to myself, " how long has this been there"  So off it went.  Ahh Aunt Jinx, she was always tickled to be able to give me something when we visited and her words I still remember, "someday all this will be yours."  At least she had me, but even I sentimental, could not keep everything.  And now, I find myself with excess and so it will move along, little by little.  I have made some progress,  half my fabric stash is gone, donated to friends who quilt and sew, I no longer do that but so enjoyed accumulating fabrics.  Two shelves of craft items gone to the church rummage sale, ribbons, boxes, ties, paints, beads, you name it, all for ideas I had, projects never done.  My  intentions far exceed my execution.  As they told me when I was a kid, "your eyes are bigger than your stomach" 

Inside the Nordic bundt rose pan

Nordic ware rose shaped bundt pan

Another of my  treasures the Nordic ware expensive bundt pan, I bought this about 2004, so many times the flopped cakes came out of it, not the beauties I imagined baking and serving. About a month ago I tried it again, to another disaster, the cake was delicious but did not  come out  from the crevices, although I greased it  so carefully as instructed.  I  placed it back on the shelf and  then asked myself, "Seriously have you had maybe one good experience with this over the years?"  So off this went to the church rummage sale, with my well wishes for the next baker who may have far better luck producing a beautiful rose petal cake than I did. While I wished for roses I got flops, just like life sometimes.    

Crumbled bundt cake delicious
 but not as  rosey as intended

 So we cannot know what tomorrow brings, but we can be realistic about today.