It amazes me to look back to those years when we 5 grown people Jerry, Steve who was 16, myself and the two inlaws all traveled in our cab over camper truck the entire approximately 1800 miles, one way. Today, Jerry & I have another new luxurious 40 foot motor coach, with slide outs for travels, our retirement house on wheels. But back in 1980 we thought we were right uptown with the camper. There is no way I would squeeze into any such accommodations today to travel and certainly not with four others, but back then we did. Steve rode mostly in the back except when he shared in the driving. We had 4 drivers, Jerry, Lyman who drove bus in Los Angeles, myself and Steve, so we planned to drive right along through the night, alternating drivers, stopping only for gas and making the journey in two days.
Arrival in Minnesota, left to right Lyman, Jerry and Florence |
Our return trip involved sightseeing stops and overnight rests at motels; we were not in such a hurry to return home and Lyman had wanted to see some of Yellowstone and other sights. He was enjoying not having to drive for once in his life and maybe a rare if not the only trip where he could just sight see. We returned through the Black Hills of South Dakota, the badlands, and Yellowstone. We have many pictures of this trip, but the following photo is one that sticks out for Jerry and me after something I read early this year, 31 years later. Lyman died in 1990 but Jerry's mother, Florence is still alive at 95, in the local nursing home with dementia but physically pretty good.
1980 at Yellowstone Lyman, Jerry, Florence |
Here is where appearances are most deceiving and most unrevealing. Florence had been in some sort of snit after we left Minnesota, none of us knew why, but she made it her mission to make sure everyone became miserable. When her misery was not shared by the rest of us, she declared herself ill and demanded that we get her home to California quickly. Jerry vehemently told her that we were going to see some things as planned and that we could stop at a local emergency room to determine what was wrong with her. Suddenly she was no longer ill. We never knew what had set her off, but went along our way and did tour Yellowstone, enjoying its wonderful sights.
Flash forward to 2011, when early in the year I was browsing through some of Florence's writings in the calendar/journals she kept, before we tossed them. There it was 1980, June and so I thought maybe she had some reflections about the trip. She had written very little about her sister's Golden wedding anniversary and other visits. But, she bitterly wrote how she did not want to leave Minnesota to just drive and see sights as Lyman and Jerry planned. This was not a surprising statement because she is a very self centered person, quite selfish at times, has been all through her life. Jerry recalled many bad decisions she made, over the years always thinking of herself and her needs. But then, reading the remarks she made along the journey home, came the revelation of how twisted and evil this woman could be.
It was in the South Dakota Badlands when Jerry, Steve, Lyman and I left the camper to walk along an area and just observe the vultures circling. Florence intended to suffer and had been saying very little, but said she did not want to see the dirty birds or the hills. So we all left her in the camper at the parking lot. And she wrote...."..Well I tossed his damn camera in the trash and I covered it up so they could not see it. While they walked along I saw to it that he would not have any pictures......" Although nothing really surprises me about MIL at this point, I was astonished and called Jerry to read it himself. He too was astonished and commented something like, "Well that old witch did it, that's what happened to Lyman's camera!"
She never said a word when the four of us searched and backtracked several miles looking in vain for that camera. Yet she very well knew what she had done. Why? Who knows? Jerry said, that explained her "tantrum" along the trip, not getting things her way. And yet, he admitted over a lifetime now he can look back and see how she was manipulative and vengeful. I consider it downright mean. So today when people may think, what a sweet old lady, we know differently for many reasons, one being the missing camera. While we wondered if she ever told Lyman what she did, we think not. That is the story hidden behind this photo. We will never look at it the same way again.
As always, click on the title to this post to go over to the Sepia site and see others' photos and tales.
Amazing the little and major secrets that we have amongst are family members sometimes, and not always does the real story come to surface...you gotta just love them! What a great and interesting story...and that camper over your pick-up cab was all the rage about those years...anyone was lucky to have one. My brother in law lived in one while their house was being built.....! Those were the days my friend...
ReplyDeleteGoodness, that’s one heck of a story there! It just goes to show that pictures alone sometimes don’t tell it all and an eyewitness account can be invaluable.
ReplyDeleteMIL sounds awful. I wonder how her husband could stand her so long.
ReplyDeleteBeing one who looks for the positive, I think finding that journal is comforting. Now you've seen evidence that your opinion of the MIL was justified and not just a product of prejudice. One question remains. What events in her childhood, or what flaw in her personality made her into such a witch?
ReplyDeleteTom
Postcardy, He was her 2nd husband and the arrangement suited both of them; he was a control freak and kept her in a delayed state of adolescence; she looked to him to take care of everything, unless as this story goes, something did not suit her and then the nasty emerged. There are so many stories looking back over our years and the more I have learned from other family; she really was not all there, all her life. Now with dementia it's still the same, delusions and always trying to stir bad feelings amongst people...Ahh, it is a long story.
ReplyDeleteTom, for sure. Who knows why, she was the baby of the family of 4 older sisters and from a toddler exhibited these self centered ways. We know she never really grew up beyond adolenscence. Lots of stories for my book.
OOPs, she is 94 not yet 95 I must correct that typo.
ReplyDeleteEvery picture tells a story - not always a truthful or happy one. I suppose the camera got thrown away with the rubbish. What a trip.
ReplyDeleteI don't know how you all survived that long trip!
ReplyDeleteit certainly sheds a new light on the picture...
ReplyDeletenot a nice lady after all...
still, human nature is such and you get to meet all kind.
BUT THAT IS SO MEAN!!!!!
it's not even funny...
poor Lyman!!
may he r.i.p.
surprising though that nobody tossed HER in the trash!!
thanx 4 sharing!!
:)~
HUGZ
What a story. It has almost everything - intrigue, danger ... the lot. But most of all (to me, at least) it is full of the very scale of your country, those vast distances which we over here on a small and crowded island have difficulty imagining.
ReplyDeleteAmazing story. I love a road trip but this was one that I wouldn't want to go on!
ReplyDeleteI so enjoyed this post and reading about your trip! Some people are so revengeful that it is hard to even fathom how their minds work. I feel really bad for Lyman ... he had to be with her day in and day out. Maybe she should have stayed in Minnesota and taken the train home, lol.
ReplyDeleteTake care,
Kathy M.
Ticklebear, Believe me if we had known back then what she had done, there would have been fireworks. She made fools out of the 4 of us who searched and even Jerry drove back to other sites we'd stopped looking for that camera until Lyman said, "give up."
ReplyDeleteOver our years ofmarriage, I have observed her do many nasty things and learned a lot more; I may continue with the Florence next week. Lots of photos of her and as I said she is still on the planet, still divisive and well, still herself.
Ah yes, an unfortunate traveling companion. I had a trip like that Through Europe with one friend driving the other two nuts. The constant, "I want to go home" on a daily basis had me close to strangling her. I finally blew up in Paris and told her I would personally take her to the airport the next day and that I did not want her around anymore ruining the trip. Then I marched out of the hotel to spend an evening in Paris with a weight off my shoulders.
ReplyDeleteIt really is amazing how petty some people can be when the intention is for all to be on an adventure and in harmony.
that's a shame really, leaving behind such memories...
ReplyDelete:/~
HUGZ
Well, what a story that was! It's a shame someone can take pleasure in spoiling other people's enjoyment.
ReplyDeleteIncredibly story, well told! Some people are just mean by default.
ReplyDelete