Carl Chronicles continue

Well the focus of this trip is Uncle and that has consumed my time.  I do want to  have friend visits which have been avoided so far with the time spent at house and the SNF.  So yesterday, Friday,   Uncle Carl   returned to his assisted living home at Logan House and was very happy!  But then he told me  he would have  preferred to go home to eat, so he still has that go home attitude.  We take triumphs and progress along the way.  He ate very little but downed his cottage cheese and ice cream.  I guess he will eat when he wants to.  The other day at the SNF I asked if he was on a hunger strike and he said yes.  His dementia seems to have up and down days but his humor is better.

Yesterday's event was wanting to cut his finger nails which he suddenly noticed as ragged and uneven and they were.  Jerry bought some new nail clippers for him at Walgreens and that was his focus.  He did cut his own nails and evened them out and was quite pleased with himself. at my insistence. 

Carol, who is the beautician/barber at the Logan house fussed with him too trying to get him to eat and he kidded with her, ate two bites of sweet potato but that was all.  He has turned a strange corner from the "chow hound" to looking at his food and saying, "I can't eat all that."  Who knows when or if his appetite will return.  Who knows what we are encountering.  I suspect there is still a lingering  sedative effect from the Airicept which has been discontinued only since Monday Oct. 18 at my insistence.  Carol has a friend who makes she claims the best home made pierogies, which we will get and enjoy Monday.  Meantime today, ST, Johns, the Slavic church hosts their food festival so we will  pick up cabbage rolls and pierogies for him today and see if he is tempted to eat. 

I am disappointed that there is no discount/refund from Logan house for the weeks he was not there in the hospital, SNF.  After all he ate no meals and received no services from them.  I will write this complaint to their  corporate office.  Give me a break.  It cost them nothing to hold his room, they do not have a waiting list for residents. They have assured me they will be able to care for Carl and I will trust that.  Today the home health agency will evaluate him for a wheel chair; he is currently using one from the facility. 

Meantime, God is at work assuring me it is in His Hands.  Last night in response to my  voice mail message Matt, a volunteer fireman at NKFD#1 where Carl was a volunteer and member for over 60 years, called me.  They have been wondering what happened to "Tux" his nickname from early adulthood.  So thank God for  the connection.  He said they would visit him and regretted not knowing he's been there.  Even more, he assured me not a worry on funeral and pallbearers, they will guard the casket and be pallbearers.  Carl used to hang out at the firehall and that was a big part of his life.  Matt told me he could down shots of whiskey with the best of them. It'sa timely convergence of God's plan that I made this connection this trip and I am thankful.  Especially because I know they will visit him and he will be thrilled.  

Indian summer weather here  for several days now, welcome after yesterday's cold air.  Last night's full moon was a "Hunter's Moon" something I'd never heard but Jerry had, he also said it could be called a "Sniper's Moon."  The day before a black cat/kitten showed up outside our motor home and talked to me.  I told it to get lost that it was bad timing for black cats with Halloween around the corner, but here it sat, demanding entrance.  No way!  It was a pretty cat with green eyes, but not here, where we will continue to be animalless.  Cat hopped up onto  step into motor home and wailed, "let me in....let's go for a broom ride" in response to my advice to it to watch out for brooms and witches.  It said it knew I have a broom to ride and it wanted to go along.  Now you know I have  completely turned the corner but these things come to me and I am sharing them here this trip as I catch up on happenings and thoughts. 

I am disappointed I will not get to see Carol, my Ball cousin this trip as they are too busy packing up to return to FL for the winter.  Oh well.

I found the most gorgeous lamb winter coat that had belonged to Aunt Marge, Carl's wife.  Oh I wish I knew someone petite enough to wear it--lovely black curled lamb with a black mink collar.  It won't sell for much when we do have a sale at the house, so if there were someone who'd enjoy it I would give it to them.  It is from Hart's a former upscale department store in the heyday of New Kensington.  I was surprised to find her clothing stored upstairs in the loft.  More stuff to dispose of.  I found a gorgeous black box cocktail ourse which I'm taking home; don't know what I'll do with it but it is very cute and full of  light coral and mint green taffeta yo yo's that Marge cut out.  We will see what I do with that.  More to come.... 

PA, Uncle, Anniversary

So here we are at where I call "home" because  although I've been gone from here way longer than as the years I lived here growing up, if I did, it's home to me.  Greetings from the local weather have been cooler and wetter, but the sun is shining again today.  Pennsylvania and it's  multicolored autumn woods are glorious right now, which you will see soon as I get a minute to post photos.  Reds, golds, oranges, rusts, greens, yellows, there is not a color not on display in this autumnal landscape throughout the rolling hills. 

Meantime  my time has been spent back and forth and calling doctors and visiting uncle in the skilled facility where I agreed to for a brief  temporary stay for "therapy" at encouragement from the hospital staff.  I should not have agreed to this because while my aunt got excellent care at Highland SNF last year, they have not done  nearly as well by Uncle Carl.  They warehoused him with others on their 2nd floor and crammed him into a room with another man where there is no room to move.  They drugged him with Aricept and when I arrived Sunday he was in bed midday and just not responsive.  Monday I "attacked" the charge nurse and asked if he was being drugged because I sat with him and he would not eat.  Well they set up his meal in the hallway at a table in front of the nurses station, amidst  commotion and elevator opening and closing.  All that stimulation was not working for him and had I not been there, they would have just let him go not eating. I made them take  him to his room where he'd eat peacefully.  This is not my Uncle Carl who has always been a good eater! I demanded he be taken off Aricept immediately to their chorus  of "it slows the progression of dementia" and because I know about this I could challenge them and say, "slows progression, he is 92 years old, what do you mean slow it until he's 102!"  It was needed  for my Mom who had full blown Alzheimer's and who was agitated, it leveled out her attitude and emotions.  But Uncle Carl is not like that and we made decisions long ago to not drug him!

I talked with the doctor who agreed and who was  thinking they had taken him off Aricept after hospital discharge.  Why didn't the doctor determine he was still on it when he did rounds at the SNF?   By Wednesday Carl was improving after Tuesday's very poor day.  Wednesday he was joking and giving me a bad time and  up to therapy and enjoying eating his favorite Fig Newtons which I took to him.   He gulped those down with  milk and applesauce.  And loved it!

He will be  discharged Friday morning back to  what's home to him, the assisted living at Logan  House with therapy arranged and where the staff know and love him and he they.  Highland will regret their actions as I have seen way too much to let it go.  There will be letters as well as discussions with them.   Obviously they are either not doing appropriate charting or their staff do not read the charts.  Four times they were advised that he has not used  dentures after losing them  and has eaten just fine without them for a long time.  Yet they asked me again.  They don't know how I am checking them out, they don't know about my government background in long term care, or they have forgotten but they will learn.  What has happened with Carl may not be "that bad" but to another resident it could be fatal.

Yesterday while I was there with him sitting at the window in the great room and e was enjoying his cookies and milk, a resident fell from his wheel chair!  I saw it, and yelled for the charge nurse whose seat was right across the hall.  Then had I  not grabbed another old lady resident and moved her wheelchair, she would have run over the man on the floor who lay there yelling and hurting.  OMG!  They could not get him up with aides alone, so called the therapists.  Uncle Carl watched this with interest and asked, ":Aren't they going to call the ambulance?"  They never did.  It finally took a huge device and 4 therapists to get Buddy back into his wheel chair where they left him sit!  How do they know he did not fracture something?  I do not believe this is standard of care at all.  That man lay on that floor  over 45 minutes.  I stayed the entire time because I intend to document this and have their protocols investigated.  I do not like that  2nd floor and God alone knows what happens on the  third floor.  The staff do not pay attention, busy talking to themselves.  This man fell because  they were not attentive; there was/is another  resident in a wheel chair who was sitting in the doorway to the room.  She does that all the time and he wanted her to move so he could enter.  Someone should move her but they do not!  Accidental was absolutely unnecessary!  Buddy  yelled and cussed and threatened to "sue their asses."  I hope he does, he may be demented but he is there for care and they are not doing their job!  I hate this and maybe that is why I am here to uncover and expose this fiasco.  The nursing home administrator is the same lovely woman who was here last year, but she is not all over the facility.

Uncle Carl will be out of there Friday.  The therapists told me I was doing the right thing and that perhaps he was depressed there.  Well no kidding I would be!  There is more to this, but all I have time to blog today.

On the bright side, talking with long time (I won't say old) friends from grade school days1  And last night we celebrated our 43rd anniversary with outstanding dinner at Longhorn SteakHouse!  I must remember to add cinnamon (heavy) with light sugar and butter to my baked sweet potatoes at home, so yummy.  The Caesar salad was the best,  anchovies and all.  And the Cosmo was right up there!  My fillet melted in my mouth  and came with hunks of fresh crab.  Jerry stuck to traditional steak and baked  potato and green salad which was so flavorful, that he said he could not have cooked it better himself.!   Long horn is a chain but we have not found another on our travels.  We surely enjoy this one at the Pittsburgh Mills Mall

More later  keep those good thoughts for this episode as our world turns.  One of the nurses at Highland said, "yes it will be better for Carl to leave.  He is not happy here and needs to be in a more cheerful place." 
No kidding.  He has dementia but he is not ready to be warehoused.  I feel so sorry for those others.  Someone said that no one visits them and he was lucky to have me.  I wish I lived closer now  but I don't want to live in PA.  Meantime Jerry is like a hog in mud clearing thourgh Carl's mancave treasures.

Off WE Go

I don't know  why the Air Force theme song comes to mind as I post of our departure tomorrow for PA where we have Uncle's home to winterize and things to do for him.  Sounds like he  is doing good with his therapy in the skilled facility and will be released  in about a week or less to the personal care  assisted facility where he has made his home for over a year now. 

It's always something.  And as usual I am in a tizzie here trying to select clothing and pack up the motor home.  Though I am done except for tomorrow morning when it's shower and take out my  toiletries and roll on down the road.  Pondering what weather we might encounter over the next  few weeks keeps me adding and taking more clothing than necessary.  We seldom go anywhere where we "dress up" if anyone does that anymore at all, I wonder. Maybe on cruises.  But I am compelled to take more than my jeans & capris, some nicer slacks and tops will suffice.  I know  I have loaded excessive clothes again, but it can be warm, cool and or wet. I have started to journal what I wear on these trips and always have twice what I need.  I plan to use the journal to keep myself in better check in the future.  It helps some as I did put back a few outfits already this trip.  Which makes me wonder if I will ever get this packing lite down! 

Jerry just grabs some shirts,jeans, unders and he is ready in  a couple hours tops.  Meantime Pat is still pondering.  Which is why I worked out this morning, when I could have used the time to sort and pack.   I knew the stress would creep in and I can handle  that better with physical activity..

And if I need something the Pgh. Mills Mall is close with all the big  stores and selections. A good excuse to shop, something I do less and less of in retirement.  I, who had a personal shopper at Nordstroms and Macy's in my career days, have now descended to JCPenney, an occasional stop at Macy's, sometimes even Wal Mart but primarily just not shopping.  My casual retirement wardrobe has eliminated my desire to shop.  One good thing about PA is no sales tax on clothing, just like MN.  Of course we shop mostly across the Mississippi in WI where a  5 3/4% sales tax is on clothing,  so unless I go to Rochester or Minneapolis, I am accustomed to paying sales tax.  Shoes, that's the dilemma that wrapped this evening; how many to take and which ones.  I like to wear my sandals as long as I  can, so we shall see. 

I hope we get some all around down time enjoying  my New Ken cronies and are not just in to and fro mode. We will be spending our 43 anniversary in PA so  that  evening may be a nice time to gather and celebrate.  Our RV spot awaits us at Mt. Top RV in Tarentum. Ed and Fran, the owners have  become like cousins as we have stayed there every PA trip.  Nice people.  And the only place in the area. 

Off the keyboard now and to peruse my "to read" bookshelf for another book to take along.  Right now I am in the midst of  a historical novel,  "Andrew Jackson" by Byrd, but I'll finish that in a few evenings and  will need another book for the trip.  Next post may be in PA or if I get very ambitious on the road.  Mostly any interesting  quirks will show up on my Facebook page. 

Home Again Shortly and then off again (Click here for Story tellers)

This has to be a tale of words, as I did not take photos of this episode.  We just returned  from our quick trip of five days west to Utah where Jerry thought he had found the upgrade diesel motor home that he has had his eye on over  the Internet, on the lot of General RV in Draper.  I had finally resigned myself to his "needing" a diesel for longer trips which God alone knows when we will be taking the way  life seems to change our plans.  Nevertheless when we got there and saw it, I had an instant dislike to the interior layout and to the colors.  I guess I was expecting to be wowed as I was in November 2007 when we got our current and then new Southwind, upgrading from our old one which we'd bought used and which had many miles logged between CA and MN.  Jerry  had negotiated for the new Southwind over the Internet too, with an RV dealer in Arizona, but this time it just did not work.  As he said, "well you can't win all the time."

We knew that we did not want the two sofas this Providence had but figured that could be easily changed out, or one sofa could be replaced with two Euro style recliners. That  would turn out to be a more cumbersome and costly project than we anticipated.   The coach was really more for a traveling family than two empty nesters.  As I sat on one couch, I looked at the to me wasted big floor space and lamented the lack of kitchen storage although it came with a dishwasher.  Now at home the dishwasher is a must have for me, but on the road in the RV not so much.  The dishwasher has been the first appliance added when we remodeled kitchens in CA, preceding a stove or oven.  But in the motor home, it replaced areas I  now enjoy in our Southwind for storage.  Besides I cook differently in the RV.

The gold tone carpet was not at all to my liking and I began to  figure that would mean a visit to the factory in Decatur, IN to redo as the carpet trim is under the dashboard and up the stairs as well as  along the sofas to the back bedroom.  But the bedroom had the most heinous of all to me--a bedspread of a burnished drab gold  taffeta like  fabric with hundreds of tiny tassels hanging all along the bottom.  Oh NO!  That would have to go immediately!  The RV salesman gasped when I remarked that it looked like it belonged in a whorehouse!  He tried to tone that down with, "well maybe a casino."  No, to me it was typical brothel furnishing!  I've watched  Miss Kitty on  Gunsmoke, and old westerns, I recall the decorative bordellos!

I  did not like the small step down from the bedroom to the hallway either.  I figured on my multiple nightly bathroom calls, I'd forget about the step which we do no have in our current motor home, and end up falling on my kiester at best and breaking my nose at worst! I wasn't saying too much because I could not  tell if I was just being too picky, finicky, ornery,  or was tired from the quick two days we'd spent on the road driving  the 1360 miles.  While Jerry has to have been a long haul truck driver in another life, he loves the road and driving, I have never been good on the road for long miles.  At least in the motor home I can get up and down but there is something about sitting confined as the miles roll by that will get to me.  I read, I use my Blackberry and I work puzzles and write, still I am fidgety.  So I sat on the edge of the sofa and said a quick prayer adding to those I'd had going  through out this process,  "well God, I don't know what to think but I don't think I like it. Now what?"

Jerry had determined a diesel is necessary for more power, towing our  vehicle and climbing some of the hills and mountains   and he has decided a larger motor home will have better liveability.  His first reason was quite comical in that he wants a bigger bathroom shower, saying he   bumps his shoulders on the shower walls!  Now he is not a big guy and that made me laugh.  Although when I do see the bigger Euro style showers in these  bigger motor homes, I admire those too. 

After he looked around and in and out he took a long look at the gold carpet and  shuddered as he said to me, " I don't know about this, what do you think?"  I told him I flat  was not impressed with decor and layout, I prefer the kitchen dinette across from the stove/sink in the kitchen area and for sure I did not want two sofas that made into beds.  We calculated  it would take another $20,000 to get interior and decor changes and realized that besides the $$big bucks we were going to fork over for this one and  trade ours  in as well (which by the way they already had a buyer on hold for) it was just not something we wanted to do.  He liked the model and the engine and does not want a 2010 as there are  emission additives/standards  that are not to his liking. He knows mechanics after a lifelong career.  But he admitted that he did not like the interior either and said, "the carpet has to go..." So it was a no go on the 2009 Providence.

The RV dealer showed us another model , a diesel, a 2010 and with the layout we wanted.  But that is not the model Jerry wants.  He knows mechanical things very well and will not be sidetracked  from what he wants in engines and horsepower.  All that is most  boring to me!  Nor will he deviate  from Fleetwood , as he is impressed with their service and quality.  So we left, feeling a bit disappointed but relieved. 

It was back home and  back to square one for Jerry. We plan a couple months  trip to Alaska next year, GLW%CDR. (*)  We spent five days on the road, drove 2,791 miles, used 361.8 gallons of  gas at $971.18, spent $41.50 for food, $49 for overnight RV fees, and $4.08 for some oil he added as it needed an oil change which he did not want to do  if we were trading it in.   I do love having our food available for a quick bite to eat and even in the  evenings after a day on the road.   As I said, I think he wanted to go for a ride!  Or, maybe it was the travelin' bears who were complaining that they had been confined to quarters for a couple months.  That's it, we agreed, the Bears wanted a ride! 

Now we have a few days to clear up and repack to get back to PA where my 92 year old uncle Carl is failing somewhat.  He no longer is walking  after falling in his room in the assisted living center.  Although he was checked over at the hospital and found nothing broken or damaged, he is using a wheel chair.  His doctor had  him admitted for tests and found no physical reason for him not to walk.  However the nurse & hospital social worker told me he may not walk again.  His doctor wants him to get intense therapy at the Skilled facility and they have classified him as risk of falling.   I am blessed to know the  doctor, nursing facility as well as the  folks at the assisted living center where he has been.  We've spent so much time in PA last year that I have a handle on all of that.    But this is the next step.  We'd been planning a PA trip to winterize his home which I could not get cleared and sold yet this year.  It's always something, as RoseAnneAnnaDanna said!  At least I have friends to see in PA.

If you wondered (*) GLW&CDR= Good Lord Willing and Creek Don't Rise, which waters in many rivers  out west and Midwest are quite high now from rains! And that's my true life story, life as we are living it for this week.  Click here to go to the Story teller site and read others.  Or click above on  my title to this post which will direct you there. 

 

Books catch up

Time to log the books piling up  here that I've read, so I can donate them to the annual Curves book sale to support our local library.  There are a couple more, but for tonight  here are four.

"The Collectors"  by David Baldacci published in 2006, was my latest Baldacci read, completed on our RV trip west.  How Baldacci twists and melds  divergent plots so that the interwoven interesting characters keep me on the edge of the pages, always amazes me. In this dual different tales, the first centered on deaths in the Library of Congress' antique book section involving librarians and collectors of  famous old antique  books and  the second a very upscale con artist, Amanda Conroy and her troupe of merry men who avenge her con-father's death on one of Atlantic  cities top dogs by bilking him out of  more than $40 million.  It's a fascinating read how these two settings with unique  characters meet and become responsible  for unraveling a plot of selling top US secrets to unfriendlies. Oliver Stone, alias of a man who has been with special forces and intrigue services internationally for America  but who now works as a caretaker in  a cemetery although still maintaining his skills in security and resolution and who with Milton Farb, Reuben Rhodes and Caleb Shaw  forms the Camel club, an informal watchdog organization to keep the US government accountable to the people.  When Caleb, who's a librarian at the  Library of Congress discovers his mentor dead and is named  by the will to assess and oversee sale of the dead man's antique priceless book collection, the Camel Club becomes involved.  It's a must read  for those who like mystery, intrigue and characters, all Baldacci traits.  This novel though has one of those endings that assure purchase of the next novel, as the wronged Atlantic city mobster is left coming after Amanda who has now partnered with the Camels.  Gotta see what happens in that novel which is likely already published by this prolific author.  Baldacci books never disappoint me.

"Chill Factor" by Sandra Brown is another typical Brown with good twists.  Women are missing in the way back mountain town of Cleary, North Carolina.  Lily Martin has divorced Dutch Burton, now sheriff of the sleepy town and returned to clear all her belongings from their cabin.  On her way down the  mountain pass, in a violent snow ice storm,  her car skids   and strikes a man, Ben Tierney as he comes out from the woods.  They end up returning to her cabin together to wait until the blizzard subsides.  She begins to suspect that Ben may be involved int he murders of the missing women.  Meantime the roads are closed and Dutch, her ex-husband tries desperately to reach her as they fear  that she is about to become the next victim.  Another good one by Sandra Brown.

"The Coffin Quilt" by Ann Rinaldi is an unlikely  little book I picked up in Paducah, KY at the quilt museum.  It fascinated me because of the title and that it was about the Hatfields and McCoys, of Appalachian feudin' fame.  Told mostly through the memories of Fanny McCoy whose sister Roseanna runs off with young Johnse Hatfield, the book introduces  the  family members, their trials  over the years of hatred between these two clans  from 1878 through 1889 and the  terrible destruction of families.  It's a historical novel  and one I'd not have picked up if not for the setting.   The Coffin quilt is made by women as a genealogy with names of the family members   moved into coffins as they die.   It's an ok little quick read, nothing to rave about.

"The Prometheus Deception" by Robert Ludlum had been on my to read shelf a long time, the paperback published in 2000 and I am glad I finally  read it.  I have never been disappointed in Ludlum when it comes to spy, thrillers.  This one is no exception.  After a long successful career as a spy, Nick Bryson  is living an anonymous ordinary life as a college professor in western Pennsylvania until he is lured back into the  spy world of intrigue.  The twist is, was the Directorate, where he  had been employed,  an agency superior to the CIA, or was it a Russian front, and is it now an international conspiracy agent?  This kept me reading until late hours.  Where does the deception end?  He is led to  a mighty undercover operation, Prometheus,  that will reveal the truth to his past and possible terror for the future.  A great intrigue!

Sepia Saturday Week 43 Ziemanns (Click here for Sepia host site)

Week 43  but not for me as I have missed several sessions off and on now back at it sharing some of the recently discovered photos of relatives from  Jerry's side, photos we found while clearing out his mother's apartment.  I just wonder slightly why she did not pass these along to  her children long ago, but that fits her actions all along.  I have been very busy scanning and updating genealogy on his side for the grands, even though Jerry says he is not interested in this, when I scan and dig and write he is right here to look it over!  To me it's all history, which I love.   

Today's post shows one of  Jerry's maternal great aunts, Charlotte  Behrndt  (1882-1973) sister of his Grandpa Charlie, a woman who married Otto Ziemann (1885-1975), an oddity where the husband outlived the wife.  Charlotte, known as Aunt Lottie taught in the rural schools around Hokah MN.  I understand that the requirements to become a teacher were quite different in her day, but still this was an achievement for this poor  Minnesota farm girl.  They did not know they were poor so they went about their lives just fine.  It was a professional career and she would travel around the old roads driving old model t's and sometimes on horseback  to teach children in one room school houses through all kinds of weather. 

Wedding photo 1905

In 1905 she and Otto married and they lived in various places  in northern Minnesota as he was  a butcher, employed by meat markets and then hitting the big time as a salesman for  the George Hormel Company of Austin, MN with a  territory stretching from La Crosse, Wisconsin to Duluth, Minnesota.  They had two sons, Howard who went by Larry ( I don't know why?)  and Norman.  I have not yet found photos of the sons and their  respective families.   In 1922, they moved to La Crosse, WI where Otto opened his own meat market and grocery store that he operated until he retired in 1945.  Being a Behrndt girl, Charlotte was accustomed to hard work, so I suspect that city living felt like living  in the lap of luxury to her.





This next photo shows  Charlotte with her siblings and parents, Adelbert and Sophia Behrndt from a few weeks ago. This was at Adelbert's and Sophia's 50th wedding anniversary in 1923, oddly everyone is dressed in dark clothing, which would have indicated a somber event to me had it not been labeled on the back of the photo.  Charlotte is  the  2nd from the right standing and Charlie, Jerry's grandfather, her brother  is standing amidst his sisters behind the parents. There are those bigger women and smaller men. 

All the Behrndt's gather with Adlebert and Sophia in front

Charlotte and Otto Ziemann and Esther to the right

I  have not learned much about them  but they both lived long happy lives, even celebrating  50th and  60th anniversaries.  I especially a like this photo taken at the her Behrndt parents' home in Hokah, MN in 1930 where Otto is sporting the hat!  I have not yet been able to identify what family event was happening to bring them all together for photos.  Doesn't it look like Charlotte is holding him up from the back?  Typical of the women of this family, Charlotte towered over Otto.     Standing to the right is her sister-in-law, Esther, Jerry's grandmother and Charlie Behrndt's wife. You can barely see the little man to her side who is shorter than her too.

This photo is a newspaper clipping of their  50th anniversary in 1955.  He still has quite the head of hair and she looks lovely with her pearls and corsage. 

Otto and Charlotte Ziemann 65th anniversary

This last photo of them taken at their 65th anniversary in 1965 shows them differently, Otto is taller than Charlotte, which we know was not so all their lives.  Evidently she had shrunk significantly.  Also, it appears that they are  not quite as well or hearty as ten years previous at their 50th.  Still, recognize that they are survivors ,their  celebration was hosted at their same home in La Crosse, WI.  That's Aunt Lottie and Uncle Otto.

As always on this blog, click on the title above to get to the Sepia Saturday host site where you can then  click to see others' postings in this international event of the week!  Or click right here, if you prefer http://sepiasaturday.blogspot.com/2010/09/sepia-saturday-43.html

   

Bears and the Newest Bear

Those who know me know that we lost our son, Steve, December 2008 and it was/is rough.  But, June Benton, a friend here in MN who "moonlights" as a grief counselor, turned me onto Cathy Schrader, an angel who lives in West Virginia and  who makes memorial  teddy bears.  Somehow  we had saved and brought to MN one of Steve's flannel shirt jackets.  Ahh, would this work?  I could not bring myself to do anything with it.  So I contacted Cathy who can be reached through her website. After emails back and forth she agreed it would work and so I mailed the shirt/jacket off to her with no deadline in mind.  Cathy is an angel with this ministry, she attaches a personalized bookmark with each bear and being me, I wanted to select my own scripture verses; not a  problem for Cathy. She does not know that I am blogging her, but if anyone  loses a loved one, or would just enjoy a unique  commemorative bear, save some good clothing and think about getting a bear. She also  has her own fabrics.  You can contact Cathy through her website which is http://www.websterartists.com/  or by email at cathschrader@hotmail.com  An AWON friend in Cincinnati says they also make memory bears for homeless  shelters, etc.  So maybe in your area there is a talented bear maker, maybe it's you.



50 Cent Rocker from 1964

 I don't know how our bear collection started but it was not intentional, just one of those things that took on a life of its own. Beginning in CA in 1965, every year at Christmas I had a collection of teddy bears to display in a child's wooden rocker that I bought in 1964 for 50 cents when I was pregnant with Steve.  The bears sat in the rocker near the Christmas tree guarding presents and Steve grew up believing that they would know and tell if he peeked.  He believed that until he was about 11 years old when he challenged the bears' ability; what left him wondering was somehow Mom found out and he kept a wary eye on them vacillating between a child's belief and skepticism; in later years he always got a good laugh out of the bear guard  presiding around the  Christmas tree.  Today that 50 cent rocker has some bears and a loose squirrel  and occupies the corner of our study, moved from CA, just one of those things with provenance I thought a keeper; many youngsters have sat in it  from Steve to nieces to visitors to grand kids and it's still rockin'.

Cinnamon Blondie and Lou The RV Travelin'Bears

 I"ve learned to refer to "our bear collection"  because Jerry is quite possessive of several bears, primarily Lou, whom Jerry calls "Bear."  Mary Ann, my Louisiana. pal presented him to me for my 60th birthday, he's soft and large and  a big brown bear who has resided in the motor homes ever since.  He and Jerry have become best pals because they made several trips together back and forth form CA to MN, over the years.  Jerry considers Bear the ultimate traveling companion who merely sits and agrees with whatever's happening as long as the coach moves.  Then Aunt Jinx added Blondie to the mix, a bear she obtained somewhere and decided should go on the road!  Then we found Cinnamon in Bemidji, MN  for a dollar  a few years ago, and the 3 traveling bears were complete.  It took Lou a bit to accept this because he was king of the road for so long, but now the  3 bears travel happily though Lou does insist on sitting up front on passenger's lap so he can see the sights. You will notice he sports an array of pins on his ribbon signifying different places and events to which he travels.  This Irritated Blondie who then had to have a necklace and  something to pin on her ribbon, leaving  Cinnamon to begin to collect only bear and flag pins.  Lou has mentioned that this winter he would appreciate my sewing or quilting a vest  so that he can add more pins over the next years.   By the way the three bears hibernate in the motor home over winter and are looking forward to a trip south this winter...

Curly and Bump Bump

Another addition to the bear collection came about  1980 when Sandy was into ceramics and made Bump Bump for me back when I  was still in my career daze!  Bump Bump  came with her  head bandaged and a sign that said, "There must be an easier way to go down the stairs.." alluding to my life of frustration  in the bureaucracy. 


When my best friend Roberta died in CA and I inherited some of her jewelry, among the collection was a Black Hills Gold teddy bear necklace and earrings.  Bear things were beginning to enter or lives. 




Burden Bear with his own quilt and bear

 

Today besides the Christmas bears, we have the patriot bears who guard the patriots' bedroom.   These characters have patrolled and secured the perimeters of the room since we moved in 2005 and had a room to decorate appropriately with red, white and blue.  They were quite comfortable atop the twin daybed and the quilt I made for it until they caught wind of  my and Sandy's plans for that room.  I  would inherit an antique colonial sleigh bed from PA and back about 2006 Sandy and I began to develop plans for what she would hand quilt for that room.    

The patriots expected and anticipated the  quilt  and were not saying too much, but they began to agitate about the quilt that Sandy was making in CA as they eavesdropped on our phone conversations. It didn't matter that they had a  beautiful hand  quilted antique  poppy coverlet that also came from PA.

 They began to sputter their impatience periodically and I would have to admonish them that things of  beauty take time. 

They  were not having any of it and  would go on the march after they heard me on the phone with Sandy; they even made up their own song, "Oh Where, O Bear,  has my new quilt been;  oh how much  longer will it be?  With the winters so cold and the bed so long, O why won't she send it to me?"  They were one ecstatic chorus of bears when the Salute of Roses Quilt arrived!  And  by now you are questioning if I have any sanity remaining or if I ever had any!

It didn't help that Burden Bear, a gift from Sandy in 2007,  had joined them and tried to pray and engage them in services;  they allowed him to be there because he is light blue, but the Patriots are more inclined to action than quiet prayer.  They were somewhat in awe of Burden Bear who brought his own little  quilt that matched the one I'd made when the twin daybed occupied the room. 



Sleigh bed with antique coverlet, Patriot Bears in Patriotic Room

  



Patriot Bears with Salute of Roses Quilt

They are very particular who enters their area, which is why Col. Wally who came with his own  box of sytrofoam peanuts as a starter kit for me, another story, was given a post  at the counter by the laptop, his presence would not have melded with them, he was grey and they even considered him to be a rebel.  But then Col Wally has been known to bring himself to the party when a beverage or treats attract him and his post right close on the kitchen counter, overseeing the laptop suits him just fine.  

Col Wally gets ready to party

  But bear with me, as I get back to the purpose of this post,  the new bear here, SteveO Bear.  



My head and Steveo Bear's, self photo



Jerry knew I had commissioned SteveO and was not commenting, at times wary of what to say or not trying to avoid any bad memories and upsets for either of us when Steve comes up.  This bear is SteveO unless Jerry renames him; our son and his friends had a strange habit of  adding an O to their  names, so the new guy bears that!  When the box arrived, Jerry who always gets the mail and packages, opened it and  had his own tears which he admitted later; he posed SteveO bear crawling out of the box so I could see him when I came into the kitchen.  It was love at first sight as Steveo Bear jumped up to give me a big hug.  Of course there were tears, but he is beyond my expectations, the workmanship is superb,  a magnificent bear which I am sure you will agree. His eyes are buttons from the shirt jacket and his collar is tied with the grey cord from the hood of the shirt.  

  Here is a photo of him meeting the patriots who promptly assigned him to  the foot of the bed.  But he is patient and is making his way slowly but surely and being a big guy he is comfortable at the foot of the bed  with the pillows which the patriot bears had likewise relegated there.    He makes me smile because he is a bit overstuffed and Steve was the same, a big guy!  The Patriots are not  taking any chances though with his size, they determined he could not overpower them!



SteveO meets the Patriot Guard



Steveo Bear at the foot of the bed

In addition to the bear, I had ordered some Christmas balls through Cathy which  arrived and are of such excellent workmanship; they are for  3 of Steve's friends this Christmas.  I don't know what I was expecting, but to say I am pleased is an understatement.  These are made  by a different person but Cathy can arrange that too.  Here are some photos and the name of the creator on the label at the bottom. 



Top of Christmas Ball



Side  of Christmas Ball



This is the label from the Christmas ball



I have lots to do around here and so what am I doing, blogging?   There is a new stack of  more old family photos  from Jerry's mother's things to  scan; she is now in the nursing home in town and we are engaged in clearing out her apartment.  I am really getting weary of emptying homes when the elderly  need to be moved or pass on.  Fortunately her accumulation is nothing like  my aunt's home  nor my Uncles' which still awaits us in PA.  Our trip had to be delayed now with Jerry's mother's decline, and the recall notice from Workhorse on our motor home. Wouldn't you know the  RV repair shop can't get to us until October 5; well that's not so far away now.  After that we should be heading east to arrange winter  needs for Uncle's home.  

This has been my answer to Goldilocks and the  3 Bears and an effort for the Story Tellers blog, which link is not working right now....Once I fix that I know you will want to link to them too!  Hah  here it is, try this...

  

Sepia Saturday "Week 41 Grandparents of the other half

After  an absence dealing with all sorts of family company and issues, I can return to Sepia Saturday posts.  Jerry's cousin just sent us a succinct family history written by her mother, Aunt Ruth, when she was diagnosed with terminal colon cancer.  It tells of the early settler days, their family of pioneers who made it across the Atlantic Ocean from Prussia aka Germany in 1850, with infants, how they journeyed across rugged country through New York, Ohio, Illinois, Iowa  and  ultimately bought land along the Mississippi in Minnesota, land that they would farm after they cleared the trees and harvested and sold lumber.  It has been so interesting to tie the individuals to census records and recorded deeds and amass the data in one place. I marvel considering their  rugged hard lives, building log cabins for shelter in the wilderness against the harsh winters, living away from all civilization, frightened of Indians in new territory, man and wife and  four small children.  I wonder how they did that, I who bundle up securely and live with all modern conveniences in winter.  I wonder who had the hardest lives, my Polish coal mining ancestors or these rugged Prussian/Germans.  We are learning more about Jerry's maternal ancestors than he ever knew, whatever else we may learn they were hearty brave individuals. 

This  first photo which his cousin sent is Jerry's maternal grandmother, Esther Wetchen Behrndt (1883-1950); my last sepia post showed her with her "brood" of grandkids on the farm.  He had never before seen this photo so it was a treat.  We know this photo was taken before she married Jerry's grandpa Charlie Behrndt May, 1908.  There is some scandal attached to her younger years before she met Charlie because "she gave birth out of wedlock to her first daughter, Myrtle Louise in 1906."  That's what Aunt Ruth wrote . Charlie raised Myrtle as his own daughter and he and Esther had  four more girls, Jerry's mother being the  last and youngest. It is likely that Esther was so concerned about Jerry and Diane when their mother divorced their father and that was why she took such good care of those two children who lived with her and Charlie; that would have been  1938, still a time when single mothers were not in favor.    Esther died in 1950 at 66 years of age, which is young for this family marked by rugged individuals most of whom lived well into their 80's and 90's back then.  The hardships seemed to make them all stronger.  By 1949, the family had moved from the farm on the hill to town. Jerry tells that his sister, Diane, 12, could not wake up Grandma one morning and then awakened Jerry who was 13 and who determined that Grandma was dead.  With no one else at home, the two children went to find their Grandfather who was also at work in town and then their mother.   Grandma Esther was the literate half of the partnership, as her husband Charlie could only sign his name.  She also was the one who drove their vehicle, as Jerry recalls and Grandpa Charlie handled  the horses, wagons and later a tractor.



This photo, another Jerry did not recall,   is of Esther's parents, Dietrich Wetchen (1856-1925)and Louisa Leidel (1857-1943), and Jerry's great grandparents.  This is one of the smallest families as they had only two children.   We were surprised to see how much Jerry resembles this great grandfather, except as he has said, he wished he'd  inherited Dietrich's hair, and Jerry has no moustache.  The  printing is what the cousin had on the copy of the photo.    As we looked over the Wetchen and Leidel photos we decided that they brought the good looks into the lineage.  Louisa's  parents Henry Leidel (he's a  distinguished pioneer of this area)  and Johanna Guenther  left Prussia with a  one year old and a  four year old in 1849.  I found it interesting that they sailed  from Hamburg Germany as did some of  my ancestors

Charlie Gustof Behrndt, (1884-1964) Esther's husband, and Jerry's grandfather was the 7th child of 9  born to Adelbert (Albert) Behrndt and Sophia Roth.  Adelbert immigrated from  Germany as did Sophia's parents. Sophia's parents Jacob Roth and Maria Mary Frei married in Germany but he came to America first; she followed  several months later.  They settled first in New York,  and eventually worked their way across the wilderness of the country settling in Minnesota, however when they were 50 and 49 years old, they moved  to homestead sections of land in South Dakota, living there until their late 80's.   Jerry said this is the only photo he has ever seen of his grandfather dressed up; that all he can remember is Grandpa wearing his  bib coveralls.  It is a good thing this cousin had a few photos as many were not taken in this family and now there are some of these younger images to preserve along with their stories.  Jerry absolutely idolized his Grandpa Charlie.  Charlie was a farmer and a hard worker, after moving into town, Charlie worked at the lakes and skinned fish that were commercially caught; he also hauled lumber and cut and sold firewood.  Jerry says he was a short guy, maybe  5' 3" tall but strong as three horses and that  Grandma Esther towered over him.  He smoked a pipe all his life. 

Behrndt's farm house on the ridge of La Crescent

This was the family farmhouse which no longer stands today.  Jerry slept upstairs in the bedroom which shows to the right.  The last Sepia Saturday I posted had the grandchildren gathered with Charlie and Esther for their anniversary.  In 1949 Aunt Marie and Uncle Tommy took over the farming and Charlie and Esther moved to town sharing a  house with Aunt Myrtle and then Uncle Joe.  As I have shared, Jerry, his sister and his mother lived with them, first on the farm and then in town until they left for CA. 




Adelbert (Albert) and Sophia Behrndt



One last photo shows Jerry's Behrndt great grandparents, Albert (1841-1928)and Sophia (1851-1941).  Notice that Albert is small and Sophia is large, so it must have seemed natural to Charlie to marry a woman bigger than him, as that's the way his parents were.  Albert also smoked a pipe all his life.  This is the couple who ended up moving even farther west to South Dakota and continuing to live a hard lifestyle up until they died.  Jerry faintly recalls going to South Dakota to visit some of Grandpa Charlie's family on the land that had been homesteaded. 


To see  others Sepia posts click on the title to this to get to the main Sepia host blog, then select any and all.