Accumulation of paper and its breeding

Clearing the clutter from the Secretary desk

One of my bloggy acquaintances, Vicki Lane posted last  week for Sepia Saturday about paperwork accumulations.  I got a good laugh out of  her all too true words, and pondering about  why we do this. And since this past week, I had "sort of" cleared our  secretary desk in the bedroom, the  desk that was to prevent  accumulation of paper clutter atop our kitchen counter. the desk that has now become the second step in paper/clutter processing, the desk located in another room where out of sight becomes out of mind, the  secretary desk that  for now has a rather neat top and pigeon holes and will allow closing of it's pull down  shelf.   Reading what she shared, tickled  my funny bone.  Here's the link  to Vicki's post http://vickilanemysteries.blogspot.com/2010/09/do-not-destroy-sepia-saturday.html  but the bigger question is why do we do this??? 

I'm not as bad as some and I'm not as good as others at clearing the   ephemera and paper clutter from our lives, however  like Vicki I have wondered,  "why do I do this?"  I can reason my way around this  rather harmless addiction with any  or all of the following justifications :

 This article, cartoon, clipping will make a good blog story someday; or

Here is a website I can check on later; or

I will mail this off to Sandy or Carlie, or: 

Oh, Bonnie will want to know about this;  or

Here is a book I would like to read someday; or

That's a place to visit on our travels; or

This is a lovely card that I will prop here and enjoy a  while longer,  or

This will go in the scrapbook about my father, my grandparents, etc.; or

That's a cause I want to donate $ to and will  send off a check soon; or

I will have to read that offer again, perhaps I want to subscribe; or on & on...

I have inherited this tendency to accumulate interesting items,
 I am Teofils's granddaughter.

First step of the clutter that then goes to the secretary desk.
The kitchen counter is now happily cleared except for current  cooking magazines

You may  recall my tales about my Granpap on this blog; he was the original collector of odd things.  He never went out for a daily walk without finding something to bring back home and after they sold their home and moved into a rental of rooms, he  trudged up the hill and  brought the stuff to our basement, advising my horrified mother, "listen you to me this some good stuff, not take much room, only need a  clean up, someday you gonna need it and here  you have it, it no cost you nothing' you no hafta feed it, this good stuff."  I can use that same reasoning about paper things but the truth is they do have a cost.  The cost of time spent  reviewing, sorting, filing, arranging, and or  disposing of at last.  I did not retire to  become a  paper pusher, yet I do it to myself.  

This time I found some old newspapers back to  2005 about interesting events happening locally, the 2006 invitation to our friends' surprise 50th wedding anniversary in Indiana hosted by her cousin with directions, etc., scaps with phone numbers of I know not whom nor what, some odd buttons from something  that found their way into the stack, a wedding invitation from 2008, graduation announcements from this year relatively current and now easily tossable, and some recipes which no longer sound appealing.   Once I found some cash, maybe $20, which I don't recall setting there and then I shuddered, "here I go it's happening!"   This time I had maybe  a paper grocery sack  less than 2/3 the way full with junk, so it's not so bad it just looks worse than it is. 

You get the drift and maybe you have other reasons or maybe you are able to escape the Great paper chase, maybe you are a minimalist, a real neatnik who tosses all immediately.  I once thought that computers were to rid us of paperwork and  now I have learned that I print things from them and there is another stack!

I thought when we moved to MN from CA I would no longer receive so much odd/junk mail, most of which I do process immediately into the trash can in the kitchen, but there is the occasional item for the litter pile or  later to be dealt with.  I thought wrong.  I bought an address stamp for us when we moved here because I was sure I would no longer receive those  return address labels, you know the kind, handy for envelopes, but address labels have become so ubiquitous that they have a separate side in the desk drawer and a folder atop the secretary, boy was I ever wrong there! Besides now that we send less in the snail mail and do more business online, how many address labels does one need?  I carry a small supply in my purse when I carry a purse, handy to slap onto tickets purchased at charitable drawings rather than entering the information by hand on those small lines.  Many labels  go to the waste basket right away. But after my efforts I still have quite the assortment of address labels, seasonals, and so on. 

I do not donate to many charitable organizations, willy nilly, only my few longtime favorites, besides the local church, so it is not that they have me in their sights as the next  unaware victim to send them $5.  I feel no guilt in not sending them back their nickels that they send me  nor in keeping the notepads and not sending them  any money, because this is unsolicited.   Jerry's 93 year old mother does donate $5 to every  ragtag appeal and consequently gets more junk mail than anyone in La Crescent, attested to by her mailman who has a big route in this  little town and outghta know.  Now she takes her junk mail seriously because it is addressed to her "personally" so she reads every word, never mind that her dementia  precludes comprehension or retention of what she's reading but  she  retains stacks of junk mail to read.  Her end tables and kitchen table display foot high stacks as testament to her devotion to the  printed word!  This sight makes me ever alert to not over  indulge my pack rat tendencies to that extreme!

The desk now can close

As I can justify my own weirdness, I figure this is a relatively harmless addiction, like my accumulation of  fabric stashes or books, I could always be doing something worse.  But when I spend time  clearing out what I have allowed to clutter I have to wonder, why do I do this to me?  The secretary can now resume life as a desk and a place to write out bills for snail mail, but for how long?

Patriot Bears aligning

Oh and another thing, the bedroom patriotic bears are well pleased.  They live in that room next to the desk atop their bed which is now adorned with their magnificent Salute of Roses quilt for which they waited many years, these bears are quite neat and picky and intolerant of paper stacks of distraction.  They have exercised restraint, recently with company from Colorado, but that is another blog story.  I just  don't want to try their patience too far. 

  

Home of the  patriot bears and the clear secretary desk

Let's Roll by Lisa Beamer

Let's Roll by Lisa Beamer, wife of Todd Beamer, a 9-11 Hero on Flight  93that  crashed near Somerset, PA is an excellent, easy  faith filled read that was released in 2002.   I marvel at this young woman's strength, she,  who is living proof of the benefit of a life long faith.  Only a few pages into the book reveal  that her strength comes from her very deep solid Christian faith.  To lose her husband that way while she was pregnant with their daughter and raising two young sons and to remain steadfast in  faith in God is her testimony.  The book is simply  written , assistance by Ken Abraham, a professional writer.  However, Lisa is not just a simple stay at home mom as she claims; she is an educated woman  who has traveled to foreign countries, a professional who was employed by  Oracle as was Todd before they had their first son. They met when both were attending Wheaton College.  She has joined that elite but Job like club of those of us who have been tested by a loss beyond what we life long believers should have to endure and she has  pulled on her  strength from her faith, the only way we make it.

I have seen Lisa on TV interviews and  admire her.  I know she will survive and thrive because she has it all pulled together with strong support of wonderfully close family and outstanding church friends.  True friends in faith are the best kind! The book is 312 pages and at the end   she scripts the names of all those  who were on Flight 93.  Romans 11:33-36 is one of her spiritual sources; she has memorized much scripture being  a lifelong believer.

Back cover of book

My heart went out to her reading  the book.  On  pg 287 she asks "why would God allow the baby to be  born without a father?"  Or why did  God allow her to get pregnant when He knew Todd would not be alive?  She answers that, again with faith,  pgs. 287 and 288 " I know the only answer was to trust God to provide everything I needed.  .....He was teaching me that I could trust Him  moment by moment even for mundane needs....."   She shares the story of weeding and her friend showing up just when she needed her, an example of how God can  answer in the smallest way.  I have had that same  experience many times through my life from a  phone call at the right  time to an email to a card in the mail to an old friend  from long ago showing up again in my life.  Serendipity of faith rewarded..

More than 45 widows of the September 11 attack had given birth by the time Morgan Beamer, their daughter  was born.  This is striking to me because  you know I was born to a young widow and never knew my father.  But I know that Lisa and her children will be more than OK in life.  She is  balancing sadness with hope.   She has established the Todd Beamer Foundation http://www.beamerfoundation.org/ which has as its  purpose "seeks to equip children experiencing family trauma to make heroic choices every day.  

This is an excellent book for Christian women to read.  I picked it up at Book Sale and will share it with others now.  I have kept special prayers for all the surviving families of 9/11 victims.  Don't even get me started about the mosque proposed to be built there.

Old Butch

I suppose this has been around a time or two but it made me laugh and when I need somehing funny to remember I can come back here to my blog and reread this...truth is stranger than fiction though and it's so true about those silent bells.....

John was in the fertilized egg business.  He had several hundred young layers (hens), called 'pullets,' and ten roosters to fertilize the eggs.  He kept records, and any rooster not performing went into the soup pot and was replaced.


This took a lot of time, so he bought some tiny bells and attached them to

his roosters.  Each bell had a different tone, so he could tell from a distance, which
rooster was performing.  Now, he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report by just
listening to the bells.


John's favorite rooster, old Butch, was a very fine specimen, but this morning he noticed old Butch's bell hadn't rung at all!  When he went to investigate, he saw the other roosters were busy chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing, but the pullets, hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover.


To John's amazement, old Butch had his bell in his beak, so it couldn't ring.  He'd sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one.  John was so proud of old Butch, he entered him in the Saint Lawrence County Fair and he became an overnight sensation among the judges.


The result was the judges not only awarded old Butch the "No Bell Piece Prize," but they also awarded him the "Pulletsurprise" as well.

Clearly old Butch was a politician in the making. Who else but a politician could figure out how to win two of the most coveted awards on our planet by being the best at sneaking up on the unsuspecting populace and screwing them when they weren't paying attention.


Vote carefully this fall, the bells are not always audible.

Continued-other half early episodes Sepia Saturday Week 38 (Click here to go to the Sepia Site)

May 1941 Jerry (held by Grandma) cousins gather at the farm

This week I'll share a few more photos of husband's early days starting with this first photo taken May 1941 with cousins and his  maternal grandparents farm on one of their anniversaries.  This is his beloved Grampa Charlie and Grandma Esther Behrndt who were farmers and who actually raised him and his sister,Dianne, while his mother who was then divorced, worked and socialized, ahem.  Jerry's Aunt Marie gave me this photo several years ago and I framed it for Jerry's anniversary present on our anniversary that year; he loves it because he had no other photo of both grandparents.  The two boys on either side on the bikes are Alden on left  and Clifford (on right) Cook, Aunt Marie & Uncle Tommy's sons.  Aunt Marie said, when the Ender cousins, (children of Aunt Ruth and Uncle Leonard) Don and Lavonne seated on the ground with LaVonne holding Dianne, came they brought their bicycles.  Well her boys, who didn't have such expensive conveniences, always commandeered their  cousins' bikes and would not give them up until it was time to leave.  Notice the difference in the dress between Don and Lavonne, the city kids, and their country cousins in dungarees and hand me downs.  Marie also laughed saying, "see Jerry with Grandma hugging him, he really was her favorite child."  He is almost four years old in this photo.  The oldest cousin, the girl standing next to Grandma is Jeanette Wuest, Aunt Myrtle's daughter from her first marriage.  Jerry and Jeanette were very close and over the years when we came to MN to visit, that closeness was evident; she was kind of  like his big sis.  I liked her a lot too and through Jeanette, I learned a lot about the family and his mother's insanity.  We both still miss Jeanette who died in 1991.  Whenever we have visitors either family of friends now in MN, Jerry takes them up the hill to where the  farm was; all that acreage was sold off long ago and the old home gone, but a windmill still stands that his Granpa Charlie built and used.  When the grandparents first moved to town, Aunt Marie and Uncle Tommy took over the farming, but when it became too much for them the land was sold.  Jerry has lots of roots there where he had many happy days. 

As usual click on the title to get to the  hosted Sepia Saturday site.  Once there you can click on any of the individual posts. 

Castor condiment holder and antique looking

Last Saturday, August 21,  we spent a  very full day at the fair grounds in Rochester, MN home of the Gold Rush Antique and Flea Market.  It's about 70 miles  from where we live and is an event worth attending for anyone even slightly interested in anything antique or collectible, one of the largest in this region and one that really should be done over two or three days.  But, thinking how tough we are, we confined our adventure to  most of  Saturday; oh our aching feet at the end of a long  hard day upright on that pavement. There are simply miles of buildings full of all sorts of offerings  from all sorts of vendors and then there are miles of  booths outside, more offerings, more vendors.  And this year there were ever so many wonderful food booths that it was had to choose what to eat, though Jerry stuck with a brat and I had a pulled pork sandwich at lunchtime. That was the only time we got to sit, and briefly too. 

There  is no seating at all in the booths or buildings, so one gets a good workout walking and browsing.It is not for the person who does not walk well, although we did see some handicapped riding their scooters, they could not get into some of the buildings; that's a good thing because some aisles would not accommodate those scooters.  There were families with strollers and I felt sorry for the little ones being down there at leg height among  crowds.  And of course there were  women who dragged along their  chopping carts, an easy way to haul loot.  

All sorts of decorative outdoor metal work available from this vendor.

We parked in  a lot near many RV coaches and asked a man who was dumping his trash if he was staying there, he said, "It's the only way I'd do this."  He pointed to his motor home and said he'd been sitting there watching TV and reading the paper while his wife was off at the booths.  They were from Brainerd MN and would spend  five days there taking it all in. Well next year, we agreed,  if we go, we are taking our Motor home and making a long weekend  out of it. 

One  booth of the miles of dishes displayed

By the way, if this is not enough, the tiny village of Orinoco, about 20 miles or so north of Rochester, but with a population of  less than 400 normally, magnifies it's size more than ten fold this same weekend.  The citizens of Orinoco rent out space in their  yards and the entire town is covered with  vendors offering  something for everyone.  We did not get to Orinoco this year.  Rochester hosts this antique show three times a year, but August is the premier show with Orinoco joining in and  ever so many more vendors.  When I first heard of it as Gold Rush, I laughed because we lived in California near real gold rush country, the  49'ers and all that.  But evidently this event is rightfully named because the area fills up and people come from all over to find just what they  were looking for and maybe even something they didn't know they wanted!  It's a time to look and certainly the place to find whatever might be missing from a collection.  I think this year there were  fewer of the vendors we normally have seen, a reflection in the down market, they say.  At this event, though people were buying.  In the past I have purchased things too, including what is a piano bench but serves as a side/end table in one of the bedrooms.  It was a darn bargain a few years ago at $45. 

This is our silver castor holder

We had a couple items to look for, including  maybe something Snow White related for granddaughter in CA who is a Snow White collector and maybe condiment bottles for our inherited antique silver castor set that speaks of a wealthier lifestyle and high society. It came from the Irwin mansion, my uncle John's' grandfather and family.  I've mentioned them before, source of many antiques we proudly own.  This particular item, has held our interest and it was not until this year that we even identified it by name.  We found an excellent high quality vendor who had some magnificent full sets available at $350+ but who spent a long time talking to us about ours.  He was so helpful and promised to contact us should he ever locate condiment bottles.  If I were in the market for  anything in the way of crystal or silver, I could have found it in spades at his booth.  

Notice the ornate heads as feet  and the solid silver bell

Condiment bottle

So this week I have spent time online looking where he advised and learned more about these items.  Ours is a solid silver gorgeous piece, which Jerry is now polishing.  The Irwins used it and the bell would be rung  by  depressing the small ball shaped lever atop the circular part of the stand, to summon servants to wait on them or refill condiments that might have been running low.   It is made by Reed and Barton and likely during the late 1800's and is likely American, so the vendor said.  He said the ones from England did not come with bells,  an adaptation here by Americans of means.  Reed and Barton have been in business since 1824 and  started putting earmarks of the year on their pieces in 1928.  Ours has none so we are confident it is earlier than 1928.  The silversmith who worked on this was an ultimate craftsman, judging by the quality and intricate scroll work and the magnificent heads, used as feet.  It is about 19 inches tall and a little over 8 inches wide at the circular holder for the condiment bottles.   We were sorry we did not take it along, but it would have been heavy and too much to lug around all day.  The  vendor pulled out a book which had a big section about these and was happy to talk with us.  He warned us that there are  cheap models  turning up lately but that we would be able to spot them as we had at other booths.  We know silver plate and  cheaper tinplate are no comparison  to solid silver.  It is interesting that he advised bottles are being duplicated but he  knew of no source.  This week I found some on ebay; one seller from Indiana  readily admitted the bottles were new. Another ebay seller out of FL  has a cheaper plated set but with  five bottles which we need; I am considering bidding on the bottles but they are of a different pattern than this  frond leaf scroll  on ours that matches the silver etching.  We have only one bottle with a crystal stopper, but the lid of the bottle is chipped, photo above.  The other bottles are tightly wrapped in plastic, don't know by whom and we hesitate to unwrap them because they look like they are shattered.  Then again, this gives us an excuse to  continue to search antique shows and markets and we are in no hurry.    

Prints like these are selling for excess of $50 and there were many available.  We have one of these.  It's always interesting to see prices on items we have.  But then again they are only worth that if someone pays for them.  One vendor had aluminum stirrers such as I have thrown out in PA; she wanted $60 for a box of  six!  I really gasped to see that!  You just never know!

This vendor had furniture and prints

Snow White dolls  by Krueger of New York  1930's

  

Vendor in photo with doll

As to Snow White, there were a few interesting items, but we opted to not purchase.  I considered a gorgeous huge cookie jar, but because grand daughter is only going on 20 and not out of college, who knows what could happen to it.  We found a 33 1/3 record album with a great illustration of Snow White and a story book included,  for only $10, but then, Jerry figured, what would she do with it.  And since  our DIL her mother,  is  a minimalist and not a saver of items,  I would hesitate to send it and have it tossed.  One  lady had  the most interesting set of dolls that I have ever seen though and she allowed me to take a photo, here  from her own collection, made by Krueger in New York in the  1930's, they are worn, but magnificent...The entire set was $2650 and we were not going to spend that for Granddaughter either.  Notice the photo of the little girl with pipe  curls; that was the vendor as a little girl. Such a treasure for someone who would appreciate it! So very cute!  She shared that she is selling off lots of her collections because, (this is a song I can sing) her children are not interested, do not appreciate the items and so she is selling now so she can get the money and use it as she chooses rather than leaving the planet and  allowing family to discard or sell off cheaply.  I have thought this same thing myself and have had this same conversation with others, who say sell it, and spend your money.  But right now, I am enjoying  our possessions too much to part with them.   

We did acquire a Snow White glass which I have put away to be sent to CA another time, maybe around Christmas.  I had  just completed and sent off to her  a Kinkade print of a Snow white throw and just last week finished a pillow to match the Snow White quilt I made  for her over a year ago now.  We also acquired a couple Olympia Beer glasses for Jerry's  bar, here at home.  That was the brand Jerry consumed forever in CA and is no longer made. 

 And the  piece de resistance was his purchase for all of $3 of an Air Force hat that fit him. He pondered this the entire time and finally at the end  when we were leaving decided that for $3 how could he go wrong.   It has no insignia, however, but he is searching for his and or will look at other venues to purchase it.  There were other military memorabilia booths, but at very high prices.  

Jerry with his naked Air Force Hat

Catch up Post on Recent Reads

I have boxes of  books to donate to the library this week for their book sale coming up in September and so I  need to update my reading list.  I've read all these the past weeks....but just posting here....

Maisie Dobbs by Jacqueline Winspear was new to me and the first in this mystery series set in England post World War I.  I loved it and will read more about Masie, who is introduced in this book as the young daughter  of a costermonger, the word intrigured me and means a green grocer.  Maisie is sent to work as a maid in a wealthy  London family when her mother  dies and her father can no longer hold the home together.  Masie is drawn to the library of the home where she is serving and is eventually discovered to have been reading books but Lady Rowan takes to her and  arranges for Dr. Maurice Blance to tutor her.  Masie is bright and  eventually studies at Cambridge, then interrupts her education to serve as a nurse  on the front lines of WWI where she meets and loses  her intended husband.  After returning to London and completing her studies, she opens her own agency for private investigations.  There are so many rich     unforgettable characters introduced through the book with a couple divergences back and forth to her service on the front lines and then her current investigation.  It is an easy to follow story line and kept me fully interested.  I do not want to give away the  mysteries, so will limit my comment.  I understand that this was selected  as a community read in Woodland, CA, which is how I first  heard of Masie.  It is simply a very good period detective series and having talked to some others who have read and enjoyed  the full series of Masie's adventures, I have more good reads ahead. 

When I ordered Masie from Barnes and Noble, my fingers must have hit a wrong button because along  in the delivery came, "The Vanishing Act of Esme Lennox"  by Maggie O'Farrell, an author  who was born in Northern Ireland , grew up in Wales and Scotland and now lives in Edinburgh.  This was a strange book but  one I read quickly.  It is about two elderly sisters long separated.   Esme, is sent away  to an institution as a young child; her sister Kitty is the grandmother of the protagonist, Iris who learns suddenly about Esme as the institution is closing.   Iris is befuddled because she had been  taught her grandmother was an only child and Kitty now suffers dementia and is in a care home as well.  Well, again I can't give away  the plot line, but as Iris decides to take Esme in just until other care can be arranged, she learns more about family history than  she ever knew. I liked this line, on page 118, "Nothing is our own.  We begin in the world as anagrams of our antecedents."   It was an odd way to stumble upon a different read, but it held my interest through all 245 pages. I guess I could relate to how intrigued Iris would be as the history  of the family is revealed.  Not likely a book I would have seen browsing, but serendipity brought it to me.

Every summer I like to read another book by Elizabeth George working through the several I have acquired and added to my to read shelf.  I chose "A Suitable Vengeance" which has aired on Public Broadcasting as a  movie.  I must be on a British train lately as this is set in England too, maybe it's the influence and effect of  Sepia Saturday posts and all the Brits who are participating and involved or perhaps it's my current trend having recently visited with my Brit friend Pat, as she's easing back from her heat stroke episode.  This is one of Elizabeth George's earlier novels as  Inspector Thomas Lynley, forensic scientist Simon St. James and Lady Helen Clyde team up to solve crimes that get quite involved personally in the picturesque Cornwall village.  Lynely is torn as the solving the murders point to  someone in his own family.   But as always Elizabeth George weaves a mystery with many side lines full of richly developed  characters with modern twists of drugs, different sexual habits and more to vividly color the  mystery.

 Recently on his blog, Tony mentioned that  he was going to a "piss up," a term  I had never before heard.  That very evening, there it was in "Suitable" as Mrs. Swann, owner of the pub described such goings on.  Discovering what it meant, made me laugh and was worth the reading....I suspect I can use that term now and then to my advantage!    Page 254,  has this discussion about death, "The worst part of a death was always that moment of knowing beyond a doubt that  no matter how many people share it--be they family, friends, or even an entire nation--no two people can ever feel it the smae way.  So it always seems as if one experiences it alone."  Well, you knowq that struck me.  This is  one example of the good writing that Elizabeth George has in her books that keep me reading them.  I was introduced to her years back in CA and have yet to finish reading all her novels.  They are excellent though and a good place to lose self.  

And my last book for this post, which  I picked up in July for $1, hardback, first edition, at the Library book sale was the excellent "Kate Remembered" by A. Scott Berg, a Princeton graduate,  Pulitzer prize winner who devotes  years of intense research into his works and therefore has writtten few books.  He's not an author who cranks 'em out.  This is about Katherine Hepburn, one of my all time favorites. .  He begins his long time friendshop with her when she is 75 while he is working on the  biography about Samuel Goldwyn.  I laughed, coughed and  had a tear or two reading about Kate.  I learned that she was a  creature of habit in many ways, cocktails, very good scotch a six every evening and dinner at seven.  She lived to be 95.   I learned that she always liked to live in the moment.  She was an avid swimmer, even hitting the water outside in the New YOrk and Connecticut winter when others younger would shiver.  Of course there is a wealth of information about her movies, many of which I have never seen and  lots of information about her fabulous  career.  But this book is a very personal look at her,  her family and the lifetime relationships and  her friendship as it forms with the author over  20 years.  

She was not one to sit around and  reminisce nor live in the past.  As Kate aged, few people surrounded her, the result of outliving everyone, but she did make friends carefully with chosen younger folks, and no mistake she chose them.  They all were devoted to this eccentric grand lady.  I found one story  about one of her longest friends humorous; they had lost touch over the years ad were not as close as they had been, although they would each ask other people about the other one.  Finally Kate decided to invite her for dinner to catch up.  They and a few others spent the evening talking about old times, through the cocktail and dinner hours...after the woman left, Kate remarked to Scott that it was no wonder they had grown apart, Kate was bored with talking about the past which is all they did!  She never invited the woman to dinner again! 

Entertaining Michael Jackson one evening is another interesting anecdote, especially when she discovers he is very childlike and incapable of good conversation, which Kate insisted on in her home.  She painted and sculpted some, two things I had not known about her.  A woman ahead of her times in many ways, confident and contentious.  She never thought of her self as a second class citizen just because she was a woman, nor did she see why women had to be.   

 I learned that she was an avid reader and saw that as an absolute personal attribute.  I feel the same way.  I laughed hearing of how she added and subtracted to her age, confusing folks.  Of course the grand relationship with Spencer Tracy is described.  This was something very different for that time but they worked it out, she caring for him especially when he  drank excessively, which was often.  More than once, she would say, "Life's  tough for everybody and that's why most people become its victims."  She had little tolerance for weakness and for those who might wallow about  their circumstances.  I suppose she  may have been thought of as hard, but I see her as strong beyond.   Scott  avows that Kate " lived most of her life as a contestant in that great struggle, always pushing herself hard, riding the wave and sometimes swimming ahead of it."     I relished all  370 pages.  As the author  states, this is a tribute to a woman who forbid any tributes at her funeral; that reminded me of my Aunt Jinx.  But Scott, explains he believes it is more than a tribute is is her fond remembrances shared with him from her heart.  She was one and only, there will never be another Hepburn.  I'll have to read her own memoir sometime as well as her writing about her experience making the African Queen, both books are mentioned in this one. 

Revealing the other half Sepia Saturday week 37 (click here to go to the Sepia website)

Grandmother Esther Behrndt, Jerry 1 year old,
and Mother, Florence. 

I spent some time on the genealogy of Jerry's (the other half) side this week, so thought I would share a photo or two introducing him and his peculiar side.  I have often said that if I had known  his family, in particular his mother when we first met that I would not have ever gotten involved with him and he says that is why he lived far away from his family.  Further he blames me because he said until we were married they did not bother  with him, after we married it seemed  they had a place to spend summer vacations and they did.  His mother, Florence,  is 93 today is still going kind of strong (but not in the mental area)  and lives here in La Crescent in a senior apartment, though she really belongs in an assisted living place.  But that's another story and she refuses so we get the duty of overseeing  and providing for her.  It's most unfair as Jerry says he has now provided  and cared for her longer than she ever cared  for him.  As the first  born and  oldest son, I think he is a saint, because  this woman , Florence whose life story rivals "Prince of Tides"   has become the bane of our existence. 

She was the baby of the family, the  youngest of  five sisters and nothing like any of them;  then her second husband kept her in a delayed state of adolescence and when he knew he would be  leaving this planet apologized to Jerry that he would have his hands full taking care of his mother who was then about 77 years old....Shudder and so true.  She had four children but the two youngest are really into the ME ME generation and have little to do with her, her daughter lives in CO and about every  two years makes a dutiful trip here for a couple days to visit her mother for a few  hours.

1950 California  bound

As I said, Jerry is a saint, because as this  photo taken in 1950  shows, Florence who never had a  full load of bricks as they say,  determined she would drive herself and her two children, Jerry age 13 and Diane age 12, cross country to California, leaving Minnesota two months after her mother, Esther  who had cared for the children died.  Florence had met  the man who would become her second husband and my father in law, when he rented a room from the family, but he left for work in California.  By this time she had really worn out her welcome in the tiny town of La Crescent with her antics and had built her reputation as a "loose woman."  Not a good thing in a small town, especially the day she took her Sunday School class to the local tavern to find out if her current hot date was there!  You get the picture, people were not willing to put up with that behavior, not in La Crescent.  She was divorced from the first husband, Morrison, who enlisted in the Navy in WWII to get away from her but who also had issues, another story.  Florence had spent time confined to a mental institution for a year, committed by her sister, Jerry's aunt Myrtle, who begged to adopt Jerry so that she and her husband Joe  could keep him in MN. There was no way that he wanted to leave Minnesota and especially the family and friends he knew.    No Florence would not have it, revealing a lifelong pattern where she thought of herself first.

Jerry in Korea, Air Force  1956

 So there they are, Florence with Dianne, Jerry's full sister and himself in front of the home, ready to head to California.  Jerry is 13 and would live in Californian with his mother and step father only  less than a year before he would hitchhike  cross country back to Minnesota and live with his grandfather..and the aunts until he could enlist in the Air Force, photos to the left....  Raised mainly by his grandparents and then off on his own, I told you she was not a mother to him. This trip to  California would culminate in Las Vegas  where Jerry ended up driving them after Florence nearly killed the three of them in a head on crash as she passed a car  going up a hill into oncoming traffic.  Jerry took over driving, to Las Vegas.  Florence called Lyman from there and he  came to Las Vegas where they married and took them to California.  Florence never drove again, never got a dirver's license, sinking into being "cared for" and taken wherever she went...Her oldest daughter, Dianne, (Jerry's full sister) died in 2005 in California but she had lived a hard tragic life of multiple marriages, many children most of whom did time in jails and prisons, on drugs, alcoholism, etc. and on and on.... Well you get the picture,   I told you it's like Prince of Tides......really lots of dysfunction and more....

Home in La Crescent

This was the old family homestead in town in La Crescent where she and the kids lived with her parents and Aunt Myrtle and Uncle Joe.  Today it is an empty lot and Jerry says buried under ground somewhere when they tore down the house and pitched everything into the cistern is his original pair of skis.   Uncle Joe was always Jerry's hero, taught  him to ski and would have been an excellent surrogate father.  This is the last photo of today,  Jerry's Aunt Myrtle, (a sister of Florence) and Uncle Joe a World War II hero and all around interesting person....this is their  wedding photo where the handsome soldier from North Carolina found, courted and married a beautiful girl from Minnesota.   With the purple hearts and Bronze stars Uncle Joe had earned he was entitled to send a son to West Point.  They had no children and he wanted to adopt Jerry and send him there, it was not to be.  Makes you wonder how  very different  life would have been. 

Wedding photo Myrtle and
Joe Whitfield

I did not realize I would  write so much about  mother in law when I started this, but more to come in weeks ahead.  I think my husband  did a dandy job of  becoming a good adult.... showing that people can overcome their circumstances with will....As always, click on the title to  go to the Sepia Saturday website where you can read and see others' photos and posts.

Betty our Police Lady Story tellers Week 5 and Sepia Saturday Week 36 (click here to get to others' photos)

Miss Betty Hoover our Police Lady

I am rerunning Betty here for the Story tellers; If you have been to Southern Belle, you know there is a tale to tell and many of my previous posts onto Sepia Saturday are tales to share.  So out of time to create something new today I offer you Betty and my frustrated attempts to be a resident Nancy Drew!

Sorting and sifting photos continues here where this week I found this old snapshot of Betty Hoover who was perhaps one of the first if not the first police woman in our town.  We called her, " Miss Betty Our Police Lady" and she was employed as a crossing guard, today's term,  at our elementary school, Third Ward.  This photo is from  about  1954, notice her spiffy uniform, high heels and white gloves.  She would step out into the street to direct traffic and allow us to cross.  Now that I think about it, I suppose this must have been invented employment, because we did not have that much traffic and when Miss Betty was not on her job, we walked and crossed streets quite nicely without any assistance.

My friends and I were fascinated with Miss Betty who lived with her friend, Wanda, in an apartment on the 3rd floor,  the remodeled attic of our neighbor's the Ropers.  They were the only single career women in our neighborhood.  Since the yard of the Ropers' backed up to  our back yard, I thought I could make myself quite available to her, by just  yelling, "Miss Betty" from our back yard.  My mother thought differently and the first time she heard me standing outside yelling, she scooted me onto the porch for a lecture.  I was not to bother Miss Betty and just because she rented from our neighbors did not mean that I could  bother her to satisfy my curiosity.  She was employed as  a Police woman and when she was not at work, she did not need the likes of me pestering her.

Not one to easily give up, I tried to engage Dayna, my  neighbor friend who lived on the other side of the Ropers to help in my efforts at learning more about Miss Betty but she was not as curious as me and besides, her mother felt the same, "You girls do not need to bother her."  I had a plan, Dayna's upstairs bedroom was closer to the Roper house, so if we could lean out Dayna's window and call, surely Miss Betty would hear us and if Dayna was calling and not me, my mother couldn't say anything.  But Dayna was no where near as interested and so much more the good girl than myself that it didn't happen.

I spent some time mulling about this and trying to overcome my Mother's admonishments without being absolutely disobedient. I suddenly became very interested in Harry Roper, their son, who was several years older than me (I was 9 and he was likely 13) and tried all sorts of ways to entice him into inviting me into their home; once inside I figured it would be easy enough to scoot up the staircase and knock on Miss Betty's door. That did not work, because Harry as I said was older than me and besides that totally uninterested in my antics. I think he secretly knew I was the one who would pelt him with crab apples, but he never could  prove that.  I could get onto our porch roof  near the crab apple tree outside my bedroom window, toss crab apples and whack him on the head, then duck back into my bedroom window, innocent as you please. 

My curiosity was not waning, so one day after school, I hung around the corner and confessed to Miss Betty that I would like to see their apartment but my mother said I was not to bother her, but I had this big tale about needing to interview her for a Girl Scout project. She and I walked the  few blocks back to  our homes together and Miss Betty said that she would speak to my Mom and if it was alright with her she would invite me in  for a soda.  It never happened and I suspect that my mother nixed it or maybe Miss Betty was not that interested.  I don't know  what ever happened but Miss Betty and Wanda moved away after several months and I was out of luck.  Maybe they really didn't want to live in a neighborhood of families either.

I had not thought of her for  many years, but  talking to  some of my friends  from those days, we all remember Miss Betty.  I however have the only photo. I don't know why we had a police woman because it was a lovely 'hood and you can see from her uniform she was nicely dressed and not set  to pursue or do much but direct traffic. 

As always, click on the title to get to the Sepia home page and find others who share their photos and or collections in this international community.  This now becomes a Story Tellers Tale for Week 5 as well.  Click here to get to the Story tellers site.