No broom ride today

Sometimes Mother Nature foils my plans. So it was this afternoon. Very little snow, but blowing wind convinced me to stay home and select a project to complete.  I chose to do some data entry of the financial stuff that has accumulated for nearly a year.

I had planned to drive to Valley View Mall & Herberger’s to pick up my Clinique gift, at the cost of buying I know not what for about $25. Well I had my head set for another tube of that wonderful Black Honey lipstick, the first and only lipstick I have used up in over 20 years. That would not have met the threshold for the gift so I’d have needed something else and I still am pondering what that would have been. Here in retirement land I use so little make up or any of those things that were so essential in career days. But I do love that Black Honey, it looks darker than it is, is very flattering. And well, the bright spring colors on the cosmetic gift bag beckoned.


Besides the gals at Curves this morning were raving about the sales. I was not so interested in a sale rack, because I have seen the items at their best and newest; if those fashions did not entice me then they surely will not now. As I recall there was an array of garb that I would not be caught riding my broom wearing! Besides when my wardrobe primarily consists of cords or jeans and tops, there is not a lot of interest to me out there. Funny thing is I always gravitate to career wear, suits, especially. I donated so many to the women’s clothes closets that I know there are some well dressed gals somewhere out there courtesy of me. I can see the future now, I’ll be 90 years old still browsing the suits and dress pumps. But I was up to a mall walk which surely would have ended up in Starbucks within Barnes and Noble. But never mind, I just did not want to brave the elements. No sympathy here from the other half who posed his tiresome question, “what do you need….” Need, after 40 + years the man should know that need has nothing to do with it. I was just up for an expedition.

Instead, I am happy to report we are now up to date on our Quicken records of all financial data through December 2009. That is a significant accomplishment because 2009 has remained a whirlwind year and things have just had to be set aside until there was time. It was even bugging me that on February 5, 2010  January 2009 still wanted my attention.  Well we are done now and I can reflect and lament on our financial condition. We are ok, better than a lot of folks, but sure wish I‘d have done some things differently, like buy more of some stocks when the price was down and resuce some of those retirement deferrals that  lost so much income.  But that did not happen and spilt milk is neither appetizing nor useful.  Forward and ahead.  

I also spent some time on strategy for a friend running for political office. An unlikely alliance this friend and I but proof once again to keep an open mind. This man is someone I deeply respect. We are almost polar opposites on some issues, but agree on the basics. I appreciate his intelligence, and organizational ability. As a county  political party officer though I must maintian some neutrality..So I am trying to help him in ways that I can and that means applying my fingers to the keyboard and sharing perspectives and directions. I was pleased today that he accepted my advice….well I’m always pleased when anyone accepts my advice, but this is a significant step.

Time to adjourn for a good glass of chardonnay and wipe up the spilt milk before it evaporates and leaves a nasty residue.

Groundhog Day

Today's a day I always remember; if Mom were alive she would be 85 today. Blessedly she was spared further ravages from Alzheimer’s and died suddenly in August 2004. Her birthday was Ground Hog day and if she was in a good mood when we were kids we'd tease her and ask if she saw her shadow. If she was not in a friendly mood we'd keep quiet. We knew better. Mom was in no contest to be our friend, she was the mother and we were the kid and that's the way it was. We knew when not to tread lightly or otherwise.

Long before the movie about it, Ground hog day was an event day for me growing up in western PA. I am surprised at the disdain in some blog comments in today's Wall St. Journal about Punxsutawney Phil, et. al. Who can have that much self righteous anger, animosity toward Phil and groundhogs as weather predictors? Who are these people who find no fun in Phil? What a weird world! Look at him isn't he cute! I still today await Phil's predictions, even though here in WI they have copy cat ground hogs. There is only one Phil descended from the original Punxsutawney Phil.  

I was a Phil friend and defender as far back as I can remember. If I were feeling especially touchy I could sob, "How would you like to be dragged out of bed into the cold with cameras and people looking at you!?" Or I could whine, “He wasn't bothering anybody and look they wake him up!" I made it personal. I could turn on the drama. I made up stories about Phil and his phamily; in these tales, they were either dreading or celebrating their special day and often how they prepared and even plotted to make the best of it. One tale had Mrs. Phil open the door to the burrow early to invite the people in for root beery tea (yes that's root beer tea, another of my creations) before they awakened her husband. Even at a very young age somehow I knew it's all in the attitude even of a ground hog to rise up and enjoy or wallow back and grovel. 

Sure wish I'd written those stories down, products of my fertile imagination, instead of merely  captivating my dolls or friends. I had a few favorite dolls, still with me today, especially Marcella, my talking doll, pictured here, still with her orignal dress. Jinx bought her for me in 1950 for my 6th birthday! A talking doll was really something then. But when it was time for a lesson from Patty Lou, she was polite and all ears. I'd lecture the dolls. I even drew some rough cartoons about Phil and Phamily and how Mrs. Phil loved to dress up and wear diamonds. (I loved diamonds way back then too, sparkles!) One tale had Phil pilfering jewelry from the lady down the hill, like a squirrel or a crow so Mrs. Phil could dress up! I do remember earning a Girl Scout badge for one of my tales of Phil and Phamily...and reading it to our troop. By that time I had to be 12 or so, but I still had my imagination. I thought that was so creative "phamily..." I never had a name for the wife other than Mrs. Phil and there were never any progeny; just the two of them. I even created a musical song and dance routine in their honor, to the tune of, “You are my sunshine....My biggest fans and best audiences besides the dolls were my grandma, grandpap and Aunt Jinx.

These are good memories that have stayed with me a life time. When Steve was young and growing up in CA I tried to interest him in Phil and groundhogs, and my stories. This worked fine while he was a toddler but who ever heard of a ground hog in Sacramento, CA? And as he grew, he lost all interest, considering it was just Mom being weird, and as he grew more it was, "Mother really!" So the stories of and about Phil and Mrs. are buried in the back side of my memory. But once I year I look forward to Phil's descendant's weather prediction; to continue winter or not? Now that we live in MN people know all about Ground hogs so it's a familiar harmless past time.

And by the way Phil saw his shadow, so it's six more weeks of winter......ahead in 2010.

The Help

Finished "The Help" by  Kathryn Stockett, end of January.   Hooray, I read three books in January, not as many as my cousin Carol, but now I am back to speed!  I recommend it as a different read.  I enjoyed this book which takes place in during the Civil Rights movement in the south.  Serendipity  occurs as  we reading this during Martin Luther King celebrations and into black history month.   The novel is primarily told  through the dialect of great characters,  black maids,  who make their living serving the white southern women.   I got a bit tired of some of the dialect, but I have known people who talk this way and so it reminded me of them.  This is a good first novel for the author.  I would have waited to buy this in paperback, but our book club was into it and so once again I did what I said I would not do, bought another book!  And a hardback too!  Well I am glad I did read this best seller while it is there on the top of the charts.  Outspoken, brazen Minny is my favorite maid followed by Abiliene  who is the true heroine.  Skeeter is the white gal, primary character returned home, trying to break into writing to make a living, who pulls this novel together.  I was sad at the ending, which was not a  lives happily ever after, so in that regard it matches life.  It is worth reading..Perhaps because I have known and am/have been a close friend with many blacks "The Help" resonated with me.   It reminded me of old Daisy from Kinloch; she was from the south and I expect had many of these same experiences.  She was a friend of my grandmother's and when I came into the kitchen where they were talking it became very quiet.  Wish I could have heard Daisy's tales.

Listen to what Abilene says about prayer  "'cause that's the way prayer do.  It's like electricity.  It keeps things going..."  Abilene writes her prayers daily in a small notebook.  She is someone everyone seeks out to pray for them, because her prayers have power.  In this way, she reminds me of my friend, Rita.  Her friends say,  "We all  on a party line to God, but you setting right in his ear."

If you know the black southern dialect or the dialect of the working people, you will enjoy the descriptives.    Abiliene describes some words of one upmanship  from her  son Treelore, who is killed by  whites robbing her of her dreams.  "I give him a real simple word and he got to come up with a fancy one like it.  I  say house cat and he say domesticized feline.  I say mixer and he say motorized rotunda.  One day I say Crisco.  He scratch his head.  He just can't believe I done won the game with something as simple as Crisco.   Came to be a secret joke with us, meaning, something you can't dress up no matter how you try...." 

The villain of the novel is Miss Hilly, the white woman who fancies herself superior to everyone.  We see this with her treatment of Skeeter one of her long time friends.  It takes a Minny to  overcome her long reach, but not before she tries to destroy Minnie too.

After reading this I have pulled my old copy of To Kill a Mockingbird from my shelf.  I am  now rereading it and enjoying the writing.

Sales + inventory = customer service

I've known that we need to replace the mouse and keyboard on this primary PC. In Sept. when Tom was here visiting and I graciously offered him use of our PC, set him at the keyboard, he looked at me rather astonished and said, "But you have no letters on some of these!" Well I'm an old typist, so I seldom look at the keyboard...sure enough; the letters are worn off the keys. Jerry is a hunt and peck, but I guess either he does know where the letters are or just didn’t think it was worth mentioning. Our wireless mouse has an insatiable appetite for batteries and requires new ones every couple of weeks. So today I decided that we should make a trip to our friendly Office Depot and replace both. Has to be wireless and Jerry, resident electronic wizard accompanied me so I would get the right set up.


Armed with the only visa rebate card that I still have from purchase of the new laptop, which I add at $35, was the only rebate card issued to me and the one with the least $$.. Office Depot has to be sexist or chauvinistic? The rebate cards came to Jerry! How can that be when I paid for them using my ATM and registered the products to me? I am the one who has the Office Depot account? Surely they had to do some research on that? Amazing in 2009 it was! Well I didn't fret too much, although I considered writing a letter of inquiry to them about how could my husband get the visa rebate cards when I paid for it. But as in so many things, time passed and I got over it. Well, this is MN/WI not CA and so long as it was all in the family I can accept.

But back to today's venture. We arrive and I begin to peruse the wireless keyboards and mice! I do not like dinky keyboards, which seem to be the dominant characteristic of the featured sale item, eliminating it from consideration. After a bit of time trying the feel, I decide on a much higher grade Logitech combination which is on sale but for lots more $$. Jerry has meantime wandered off to the cameras, apparatus, or other electronic areas of the store after remarking that I should get whatever I want because he can use anything. What? Well he knows me well enough that I surely will get what I want and I smile that who does he think he is kidding with that comment; 44 years into this marriage! After several test finger drives I finally decide on the keyboard and mouse. Now to find that sales kid who was attempting to help us early on before he realized I intended to test the keyboards and lost all interest in dealing with this customer. I could see it in his eyes, "what if she asks me something...."

As I could have guessed, the sales kid is now aisles down the way speaking with a person who may be a much less inquisitive customer than me. But he did say, "Let me know when you are ready...." So I do. I have already satisfied myself that there are no sets with the identification number I have selected on the shelf! This is not rocket science, but the sales kid with the stud in his nose looks in the same place as I tell him "I already looked. None there...” He replies, "well would you buy it online?" Ummmm I sure would but do not want to pay shipping if it is not in the store and he assures me that with the price there will be no shipping. As he clicks on line I see it is $20 more so I decline immediately. Is this a new Office Depot ploy, don't stock and when a customer comes in and wants to buy something, direct them to online which will cost more? He informs me that he cannot sell me what they do not have in stock! At that I begin to sing, "what, I'm shocked, shocked, what, Texas has a whore house in it? Oh let's do a little sidestep,” Jerry has now returned to the scene and rescues this sales kid who appears befuddled beyond from my antics. Jerry calmly asks if they will be receiving any shipment this week. To this, the kid awakens and says, “I can take your name and phone number and call you when one comes in. I will set it aside for you then..."

So we do that and leave after picking up a few miscellaneous office supplies. At the cashier station as I walk up the girl who is to be on duty walks away! What am I invisible? I know I'm short but what? The clerk at the adjacent register offers to help me right now and apologizes, "she must not have seen you..." But then the cashier asks me the magic question, "did you find everything you needed?"' "Well no I did not, the keyboard and mouse on sale is not in stock. No I did not in fact; I feel I have wasted my time. Why advertise what is not is stock?" Of course she has no answers after Jerry explains that the sales kid in the back did take our name. This cashier says, "Well that's all we can do. So sorry."

Indeed! And stores like Office Depot may well wonder why business is down. When there is an opportunity for a sale, you have no stock. Office Depot has now joined the ranks of auto and furniture dealers in not stocking inventory. I do not understand this, but Jerry an ex-business owner has more sympathy in that inventory ties up capital. But yes, this customer says, "why place on sale what is not is stock?" Now I can wait this week to see if such item arrives at the price on the in store ad. But it remains darned inconvenient. No wonder I prefer to order online from the comfort of my keyboard and mouse, even if the letters are worn off and the mouse has a voracious appetite for batteries.

Edgar A Guest Poem "Fellowship of Books"

While downloading photos I was perusing an old Ideals magazine and ran across this poem by Edgar A. Guest.  He was known as the poet of the people for some time and was syndicated in over  300 newspapers in the early 1900's...Kind of reminds me of  something that Tom's father could have written.

I was up at the Library today pestering Lavonne, our librarian to have application copies available of our 2010 essay contest for senior high students who live in this county.  She being  the great gal she is, said, even better she'd get it onto their website!  I always enjoy my time at the library, but as you know I do not check out the books, because i have the urge to always write in my books and the library does not appreciate that.  I am on the friends of the Library organization and  a good  supporter of  the efforts.   

Every time I am there I  fondly gaze at the desk where  still sits Tom's father's  poem...  But enough,  here is 

The Fellowship of Books

I care not who the man may be,

Nor how his tasks may fret him,

Nor where he fares, nor how his cares,

And troubles may beset him,

If books have won the love of him,

Whatever fortune hands him,

He'll always own,, when he's alone,

A friend who understands him.

Though other friends my come and go,

And some may stoop to treason,

His books remain through loss or gain,

And season after season

The faithful friends for every mood,

His joy and sorrow sharing,

For old times sake, they'll lighter make

The burdens he is bearing.

Oh he has counsel at his side,

And wisdom for his duty,

And laughter gay for hours of play,

And tenderness and beauty,

And fellowship divinely rare,

True friends who never doubt him

Unchanging love and God above

Who keeps good books about him.

First two reads of 2010

"The Rule of Four" by Ian Caldwell and Dustin Thomason.  An interesting tale about an ancient manuscript, the Hypnerotomachia,  that consumes the lives of Princeton students.  This novel combines shades of the Da Vinci code and the Ivy League with a good dose of mystery and Mark Twainish antics of the young men.  The characters are good and the story kept me reading.  Borrowing from the jacket, "..the story of a young man divided between the future's promise and the past's allure, guided only by friendship and love."   This is a first novel for the two  authors who are life long friends. I found some interesting phrases amidst the mystery, intrigue and action.

Pg. 70..."Adulthood is  a glacier encroaching quietly on youth.."
Pg. 196  "..Hope, time and the solitude of years..."
Pg.313  "Awakening to someone we know but perhaps take for granted, or ignore.."
Pg. 363  "Imagine the present is a reflection of the future...." 

"October Sky" (aka Rocket Boys) by Homer Hickam.   It was first printed as Rocket Boys. A movie was released as October Sky which was used to reprint the book.  This is the first memoir in his trilogy about growing up in the coal mining town, Coalwood, West Virginia in the late  50's.  The Russians have launched  Sputnik and Homer and hs  friends engage theselves in rocket building to  help the American effort.  Despite  disasters like blowing up his Mom's rose fence while  launching these homemade rockets, the quartet of boys spend years perfecting their rocket manaufacturing and launching. They form their own space agency.

 They have  fans around town and in the mine who  regularly come to observe their launches from  an area far from town provided by his Dad  to avoid more disasters.  Eventually through the coaching of a dear  teacher they enter the science fair and even  make it to the National  Science Fair in Indianapolis.  That is Homer's first big trip away from West Virginia.  

Homer Hickam and his brother are raised by Mom; Dad who is the mine boss lives in the home too but the mine is his primary focus. The antics of the fighting brothers cracked me up. They ride a school bus miles up the mountains to another tiny town to attend high school. The brother is a jock, but Homer is interested in going to work at Cape Canaveral! Homer does fulfill his childhood dream and becomes a NASA engineer. The one day that schools close for a severe winter storm does not deter these boys who are out at it,on their sleds up and over the mountains to enjoy the day. The return trip home almost is the undoing of Homer.

My cousin, Carol,  recommended one of the books in the series to me to gain perspective of  life in the coal mining town.  She and her family,( my father's brother was her father,) lived in Harwick, PA. as did my Grandmother Ball.  If I had ever heard about this book before, I likely turned up my nose thinking why would I want to read about boys growing up?  I so enjoyed it that I ordered the complete trilogy.

 Many of the attitudes and characters reminded me of beliefs and similar people I knew growing up in New Kensington.  Good writing throughout this enjoyable  first novel.  I'll  read the other two books in this set and  likely order his other novel about German U-2 boats off the eastern coast of the US in WWII. 

Pgs. 298--9  "It was Coalwood moving,  talking,  humming on its eternal symphony of life, work, duty and job.."..."..they acted as if nothing had happened.  That was the West Virginia way, and they were better at it than I was.."

Pg. 399.."I enjoyed the attention as long as people didn't press too close.  I had that West Virginia need for a certain amount of space between me and a stranger..."

Tempus fugit Eureka or not!

When retired friends used to tell me that they have less time retired than they did when they worked, I would get very annoyed. How could they say that! Imagine how foolish! I could not wait to retire to have the free time to do all the things that I could not do while spending 14 hours commuting and doing all that managing in the bureaucracy. Well some of those things I planned to do were derailed when we moved to MN, but substitutes appeared so that I would have no need to resurrect my adolescent lament”nothing to do."

I just read Nancy's post on the Lipstick Chrons blog about the Devil in my pocket and plead guilty to the same addiction of checking email and Facebook which are big time users. I have tried to curtail my addiction as well. First thing after arising, I hop onto the laptop which resides on the kitchen counter overseen by Col. Wally and/or I check Pearl B., my blackberry to see if any critical emails arrived. My definition of critical varies significantly from Webster’s as I find myself roaming through the messages. Most of these are easy deletes, stories friends are compelled to share, but some are amusing and will require attention later. Now I am plunked on my stool to read my online WSJ. Sometimes this takes longer than other times and may lead to meandering further to research something that catches my eye. By the time I complete that and finish reviewing my ace email an hour or two can pass. And that does not count if I switch to Facebook to just see who's dong what and who needs to know what I'm planning.

I have tried to curtail my 'puter time to late evening after dinner, before briefly watching something inane on TV (unless it's NBA) and before my reading time, but this does not work at all. Spending an hour or two on the computer in the evening is sure to beckon insomnia for the night, especially when I get onto the Facebook pathwords game, keeping my farm up there is enough.

As Nancy aptly sums up, we have lived fruitful productive lives without the need to be connected electronically 24/7. She mentions how this has cut into her reading time as evidenced by her NY Times stack near a chair and into her writing time which becomes an issue for a professional writer. I think about my cousin Carol's email the other day, where she tells me she has read five other books this month. How does she have that time? Well, Carol is not so connected!

OK so I am now seriously analyzing my time spent at my 'puter. This is better than some I know who are absolutely computer cyber illiterate. No way would I want to be unable to conduct my financial transactions online or to shop online. And some of the other time spent is how I stay informed and intouch. One big concern I had retiring as a high level government manager was that I would miss the information I had access to daily working at the top levels. I was well informed on issues like Medicare, Medicaid, social Security, Long term care, Healthcare financing. I did not want to lose that edge. It has been beneficial to know about these issues in retirement. Perhaps some work related information has proven itself irrelevant in the scheme of life, but other information has given me an edge in transactions. Knowledge acquired comes in handy. I do not get a hard copy of WSJ, so reading it online is a no-brainer. Not a time waster; would it be different if I had the paper pages in front of me? Well only if you consider the additional keyboard roaming and 'net surfing I can do from online to clarify and research information. I'm satisfied to accept my WSJ time as well spent in continuing information assimilation.
Now what about FB and email? I can't consider this a time waster; these are part of my social connections. Would it be different to be able to sit and drink tea, coffee and or wine with these friends in person? Sure, we'd see our faces! Unlikely that we’d do that daily, likely once in awhile. How much time would I spend that way? For one thing, it would not be possible as my friends are around the country and coast to coast and for another it is doubtful that we would gather in our pj's first or last thing of the day. So if this is how we can reconnect and relive slumber parties in cyber that sounds like time well spent to me too.

What about those hours I spent yesterday when I was downloading and transferring photos and placing online orders for prints? Well, finger strokes sure beat driving around town. The same goes for looking and buying online. It saves drive time and hassles.

What about those online games, especially Farm Town in FB and Pathwords? Here I must concede to little redeeming value other than keeping me off the streets. Then again it keeps me out of the kitchen and or the sewing or craft project room. These are activities that do not consume daily time more like a couple hours a week.

You know what? My computer time, Facebook, email, serves me well. It's the change in the way we live today. I will no longer worry that it's wasting time when here I have satisfied myself that it's working for me! Besides, it is not hurting a damn thing....so what if I didn't vacuum  this afternoon, there is later on.  Our home is not dirty but rather well kept, we eat decent home made meals most days, our clothes are washed ironed and ready to wear.  I have solved my own question, time flies but I'm riding on it's wings and enjoying the view! 

Googling the gadget

Now here I have wandered  off task again attempting to afix the comment  gadget onto this blog and for some reason I am stuck!  I just wanted to see if I could  set up a way to gather casual feedback from  readers who happen by.  Now and then I  would hear from some, but not in a while.

Some friends  read and some email  or FB me direct with comments.  But I do wonder who else might be reading and  their reaction? I don't need  that as a validation or encouragement to continue my  blogging, just curious.  Well on another blog I follow, "Life in the Second Half"  today, Nancy commented on this very subject.   She's in Lake Tahoe and I am here in the grey belt of MN. Yes it is still dreary and the  shop roof glacier has not completely fallen.  Photo from yesterday as we watched the 18 inch slide over two days.  This morning there is a 3 foot bite taken out near the back, but it's still hanging there.  MN amusement, watching the roof glacier.  Back to Nancy's comments where I wonder how great blogging minds can be running in the same circles? Nancy mentioned the  fun of meeting others.  Some think this may be dangerous, but it can work too.  I have two friends one in WA and one in FL whom I met over email  from another friend and a now long defunct website many years back.  It is  an interesting way to  develop a friendship.   I particularly  enjoyed reading Nancy's explaination of  how and why she blogs.  I do this too to maintain my  writing skills as well as to  generally keep myself amused.  Oh and lest I forget, there's Sandy's constant  reminder with each phone call!

I have many tasks at hand today and focused first on organizing  and downloading some photos to Kodak share to get prints so that I can update my father's scrapbook/album.  These are photos from my cousin and our trips to PA.  This is a task which I have expanded by my constant need to edit and improve things.  Maybe this is my obsession.  Isn't there an old  story  written by Nathaniel Hawthorne or Edgar Allan Poe about the person who keeps writing and tinkering to ensure their longevity?  Or was that the builder of the Winchester Mystery House?  Well maybe if there isn't such a tale, that's a sign I could write such fiction? 

Enough,  I am confined to quarters and resting and recovering, I hope, my left glutes from a strain I inflicted.  I think it was the new non Curves ab-machine Friday which Teresa placed in the center of the room at Curves. Being brazenly adventurous and foolishly curious I got right on it, without instruction.  I am not timid which has not been always a good thing.  Anything that  works and  strengthens abs is for me. Teresa came over to advise right form after I'd exhausted my  curiosity and  tormented my left glutes beyond forgiveness!  Usually I get these aches in my right side, but since Friday evening and persisting today, my left glute remains very angry with me!  Enough Advil and it  is masked.  I thought I had it whipped but last night I hobbled.  A night in bed and I hobble around better in the morning.  So it's a grey frosty MN snowy day and I can keep occupied inside and recuperate!  I'm not even interested in my local friendly chiropractor for an adjustment until this pain stops. 

I noticed  on a previous post that I referred to potential conversations with grand daughter on her visit.  If anyone is curious and does not already  know, none of those conversations occurred,  instead this  grandma bit her lips and tongue to prevent saying what she really thought.  This was not the most pleasant visit; she came with a cold so I  thought that had part to do with it, but it became apparrent the girl was beyond being not interested this trip.  In fact, she moped, mourned and pined for her CA boyfriend and  spent most of her time texting and phoning CA. If it was not him it was her Mom or her Mom's mother or her Dad!  What is going on here!  We are puzzled why she wanted to come for this winter visit? She wanted to see and experience winter which she did  with  a one hour  outside experience and then viewed it from inside the house or car.   I spoke  briefly to her that this was not as much fun because of her phone preoccupation, even suggested that she  set it aside  for a bit, but  she  chose not to do so.  Not conducive to talking; especially when she closed herself in the bedroom  for hours on end.

I predict a train wreck ahead, and at the  barest minimum a very rude awakening someday.  One of my Curves colleagues admonished to forget it, that she had tried  having their grand daughter live with them twice while going to school and all it did was aggravate themselves.  "They will do what they want to do..."    I am not meant to deal with pouting  19 year olds.  Sadly by sheltering and  over protecting their children, Jerry's son  and wife   have stifled their  socialization and development  with an insulating tight cocoon.  I saw this clearly in Janine this visit,  our 19 year old grand daughter has demonstrated regression to the age of 14.  Water under the bridge unless some seeds we planted root.  What an analogy--water and seeds....flowers or seeds of discontent? 

BTW this brings back my favorite research project, do people triumph over their environment?  DIL is clearly doing what she deems best for her child, repeating her own learned pattern of family insularity. She learned this from her own mother.  I find this most peculiar in CA of all places where people generally mix and mingle freely. At least it was that way for us...it was so easy to meet people and make friends there.  But not so they.  Jerry observed years back that they are  compulseively clannish with their relatives to the point of  near exclusion of  other friends.  Then again maybe we are the strange ones, living away from family and making our own lives.  In my case, 3000 miles across the country.  Yet we think we did quite well.  Jerry often  comments that we were better off until his sister and his mother moved nearby in CA.  He had been on his own from the age of 15, so he finds clinging to mom's skirts bizarrre. 

Now back to my gadget to gather feedback.  I have just  downloaded  and; installed my new  2010 Quicken and some  investment analyses tools, so a simple  Google gadget should not be vexing me.  But it is and so I must get off   this and go back to the settings and figure this out.  Maybe the "followers" button is supposed to do it and I have that, but here I am thinking there must be something more.. that's another one of my character flaws or strengths---my curiosity and striving for always something more, different, better, to experience, see, read, do etc.  Simple contentment escapes me...