Quick Read "South of Reason"

"South of Reason" by Cindy Eppes is her first novel. It's a good story through the voice of Kayla Sanders whose family story is revealed after they move back to the parent's home town in Texas. Nothing earth shattering here but it is a nice story about 13 year old Kayla and her testy relationship with her mother. The Grandma (Mom's mom) plays a big role in this tale as does Lou Jean Perry the lady next door whom Kayla befriends. What happened in the parent's high school years echos back through the book until the secrets are fully revealed. One critic wrote about the collision of two worlds, adult and adolescent, which sums up South of Reason. An easy read.

Driving myself up the banana tree and down again

We purchased this cute pearl white laptop HP Pavillion notebook to replace our old laptop which we use mostly for travel. The old one was way too slow, getting on my nerves and well we'd bought it in 2002 so it has long outlived it's recommended lifespan. That's another subject the throw aways in life today. Nothing is meant to last and no wonder the landfills are over expanded.

This new arrival which matches my pearl blackberry got me to making the leap to gmail. I've thought about switching before at the recommendation of friends who have been quite happy with gmail. But then I shudder considering all the accompanying changes & notifications that would bring. Well in a moment of "Why not" I did sign into gmail on the new laptop on Friday night. It works slick and I can import my current email into it. So far so good....bye bye outlook express which acts out at times and deserves the boot.

But here it is Sunday and I'm wondering what happened to my regular email account. I'm getting notificaitons on Pearl as I've linked her in ready to travel, but online no posts? Hmm? Then it hits me--I set it to import to gmail. Soooo off to check gmail.

But now the fun begins..what pass words did I use? I did not think to link it all into my existing Google with this blog. Oh no, I was going to keep gmail separate. Hmm--so what combination do I use to log first into Google then to gmail. That mystery question kept me chasing my tail happily for a bit.

While talking to a friend on the phone, bingo, revealation. Now I've got to record what I did & how I did it so I can do it again and again. Into the big binder. A binder that is increasing in size. This is my binder of passwords, log ins, etc. In the interest of cyber security I have made yet a dandy mess for myself. I do not use the same passwords for accounts--no duplication, protection from hackers, etc. But that means keeping track of all these multiple passwords, sign ins, user names and so on. Who can do this? Not the likes of me who used to have nightmares in high school about forgetting her locker combination. To remedy that I wrote the combination inside my friend Betty Ann's locker door. Pity me if she wasn't at school and I forgot. That never happened, but again the issue of security creates a need for deviousness that can outsmart myself.

It was not so complicated back then and come to think of it, why did we even lock our lockers. Mostly we did not. What did we have to steal in there--nothing. Some dirty gym clothes?

But today with passwords, logins, user id's and cyber space it is a whole new game. This has resulted in my big binder, alphabetized with all the pass words and means of intrigue to log me into the myriad of places I venture. I thought computers were to make our lives easier? Do away with paperwork! Think again. It has created yet another system to keep track of, accountability. And soon as I get to it, a database to enter my password so I can cyber store them and retrieve them from wherever I may be--but wait, that will mean another access code and another password to log onto that cyberbase....well back up for another banana!

Life is not simpler, not easier. It's just a vague hallucination that we think it might be someday!

Talking to myself

Sometimes when I am really deep in conversation with myself Jerry happens by and interrupts with a "what?" To which I respond immediately, "Don't interrupt I'm talking with myself!" It seems I get the best answers and dialogue this way and it sure beats ignoring things. Which brings me to this blog. I used to have a couple followers but they seem to have drifted. So here I am continuing to talk to myself.

Well it doesn't bother me, I like my own company. Unlike a certain widow woman friend who was so starved for company she sold her soul to the first man. Now she lives a life of subserviation to his needs and then wonders why her "nose gets bent."

Ah the life of independence, which I have always treasured even within the parameters of a nearly 42 year marriage! I learned early on in my 20's working as a single mother at McClellan AFB in CA that I must be able to provide for me and my child. I learned this by watching those poor old ladies! Now remember here I am not much past 21 and I see old ladies in their 40's! They have had to come to work for the first time in their lives--why because the hubby got ill, ran off with a younger babe or lost his job. Suddenly they were thrust into the workforce, trying to earn a living with absolutely no skills 'cept that of a "homemaker." Well that was one time in my life I paid attention and learned from others' mistakes. I will not ever walk that path.

And I have not. I had a very rewarding professional career. And fortunately for me, Jerry always encouraged me to work outside the home. I don't know if he knew it would be better for my mental state or was just wanting the extra income. But we both agreed and above all, I especially remembered those poor old 40 year olds!

Well flash forward today as I am retired from a state government position, enjoying a great retirement income though it is shrinking as the economy continues to spiral. And I look right around here and see a repeat of the poor souls but singing a different verse of the same song. This lady (and she is) devoted her life to raising a wonderful big family, but her husband died. So there she is bereft and unable to live in solitude. She has sold out to being "cared for" so she must think by a guy who is arrogant at best and absolutely controlling and demanding. Sometimes I feel sorry for her frustration, but then I get annoyed and think, "you dummy, you should not have sold out your soul."

Lesson learned: "Be happy with your own company." And if you get too lonely volunteer, travel and or get a nice small dog!

My grandma Rose, my mother's mother came to live with us after my grandpap died. I was a junior in high school. Well those were the old days and the adults took care of their elderly. There was no discussion she just moved up the hill to our house. I remember Baba (Polish for grandma) sitting on the porch visiting with the priest who said, "Rose, you might someday meet another man and remarry." To which she opened all barrels and shot back, "Tye gupia!" That's misspelled Polish for "what are you crazy or somethin'?" "I had one man and that was enough!" My grandma would have no more fallen into the trap of caring for some old goat than she would have jumped into the Allegheny River. I learned that lesson from her.

I had strong women in my family. I have written about my Aunt Jinx who died in July. And even though some might have thought my Grandma to be a traditional woman, she had her thoughts and ways. For one, she played the numbers through the bookie in the back of the butcher shop in town. Every morning she asked me what I dreamt and then she pulled out her little dream book and looked up the dream. I have that or a copy of an old one today with the numbers there. Trouble is it is so limited, still I think I will someday hit the lottery if I can remember to look up my dreams in that book and play those numbers! She made bucks off my dreams and kept that money aside for her and me. For a long time that's how we went to the movies (sometimes two) on a Sunday afternoon after church. And we always enjoyed an ice cream treat at Isaly's on the way home! Her and me! She never let my Granpap know about her winnings; it was a secret she kept with me. So though she might have been traditional she had an independent streak. And my other Grandma Anna Ball who was widowed young confided in me when she visited years later in CA, that she wised she had kept on in her career as a seamstress. She was a wonderful seamstress and dress designer and said "I could have had a better life if I had worked..."

This brings me to close this post to myself, that life has been good and the independence is what has helped us have a better life. It is why I worry about my grand daughter in CA who has spent her life under control of her parents. She has had no independence, lives at home going to a junior college. And now appears to be trading parental control for control by a boyfriend named John! What a waste of independence. She is only 19 and has not had enough life experience to settle for the first guy out of the shoot. But naivete and dependence are her experiences. I hope this does not continue but I fear it will. I continue to hope she really gets educated instead of indoctrination and settling for dependence on someone else.

And since I know that the less said the better,lest she gravitate toward him even more, I am disappointed to myself and talk to me about how to best get this into her head....Talking to myself--is that a sign of really slipping a cog or the wise thing to do?

Folly

Folly by Laurie R.King was another great mystery by a favorite writer who can express herself well without resorting to four letter words and bad language. Folly features Rae Newborn, a widow, woodworker, artist, woman of a certain age, grandmother, mother and recovering mental health patient. I love all Laurie King's books because I can never guess who dunnit. Folly told through Rae's experience as she returns to an island off the coast of WA to rebuild her great uncle's demolished home. Folly interweaves two mysteries; that of Rae and of her long deceased great Uncle Desmond. 400 pages of good writing and and good mystery, I hated to put down. And I never saw the ending coming! A good read!

Two reads and a skim

"Four Spirits" by Sena Jeter Naslund was a disappointment to me. This author had written one of my very favorites, "Ahab's Wife" but this novel doesn't quite measure up. I skimmed through this which has great characters but not that great of a story line. It did not hold my interest as I'd hoped. Set in Birmingham, AL in the 1960's during the civil rights struggle. Narrated through the voice of Stella Silver, an idealistic white college student and Christine Taylor, student at a black college. Many characters have voices in the history of this time. The 4 spirits are four young black girls who are killed in the firebombing of a black church. Just a big disappointment.


"Vital Lies" by Ellen Hart. This was an ok easy read mystery without bad language. Set in MN on a lake, where the owner is challenged to hold onto her investment in a lovely old inn amidst threats and nasty pranks. Someone wants her out of there, but who is it? I would likely not have picked this up had I read the back cover, a Lambda Literary Awards selection for best lesbian mystery. I will leave it there. The characters were interesting but that is not a lifestyle I am interested in hearing about.

"The Authorized Biography of Anthony Hopkins" by Quentin Falk. I admire Antohony Hopkins and I enjoy biographies. This book revealed some small things about his life but focused a great detail on all the plays and theater which has made him famous. I'd have preferred more personal detail, but maybe I'm just nosey! A drama student would find this intriguing. Hopkins beginnings in Wales and encounters with Richard Burton are interesting. Here and there are bits about his struggles in school as a young boy, a slow learner, a pianist, a child who preferred being alone--all traits which he carried on into adulthood. The end of his first early marriage and how he cuts off all contact with his daughter for her own good is touching. Way later in life they reunite but for this reason he prefers to never have any other children. His 2nd wife Jenni is truly his soul mate. His struggle with alcoholism is discussed including reflections from Jenni. A funny episode described his struggles working with or around Shirley McClain in "A Change of Seasons." Hopkins has a fantastic sense of humor shown in impersonations. At one time he is off set ill for a few days and not yet expected to return when President Richard Nixon appears on the set. Humorously Nixon is none other than Tony himself! After he conquers/cures his alcoholism he retreats to a solitary existence in a Topanga canyon home which he impulsively purchased. Uncertain whether their marriage will endure, Jenni shares how she coped with this struggle on her own. This episode reveals something about how she finally learns to be her own person and get a life. This passage is good reading for the clingy woman who has a man as her sole means to exist. "..I rely on him absolutely....but what he couldn't be any more was 101% of everything for me. I realized I had to have my own life too. I had to be more resilient. Tony's a great believer in the fact that nobody should live through another person; everyone should try and get on as much as possible with their own lives......" I learned that lesson long ago as a young 20 something working at McClellan AFB in CA. Fortunately for me, Jerry reinforced that so I have never been the clingy little woman and have little to no patience for those who are. Even if they are in my own family. If I could get anything through to my grand daughter it would be just that--get and keep a life, be neither dominated nor controlled by one person...know something on your own and for God's sake don't cling!

History with a family of choice.

Our good long time friends from CA, Nevin and Alicia, who now live in NC spent a few days here on their way west. This was their second trip here and we have yet to make it to NC. We really enjoyed the visit. Lots of laughs, reminiscing, eating, drinking, laughing and showing them the local sites.

I got to thinking today that is what I miss the most about being relocated, the familiarity of our history. We do not live in the past but it is a strong link that pulls us together today. Even though most of my friends also relocated out of CA when we all retired, I ponder how it might have been had we all stayed. It is a difficult transition for me here in the MN, small town Midwest. No one who really knows me. I volunteer and belong to several organizations of interest to me, but it is not the same, the history is lacking. I've met only two professional retired women. There are few here where I can buzz by and say, "hey, let's go to ...the store, library, Starbucks.." Even those in the organizations have their own circle with them, the quilters, the Legion auxiliary, the church.

This is a place where people are born and raised for generations and never venture away from hearth and home. This limits their experiences and their judgement is very parochial; truly they do not know what they don't know! Just yesterday at Curves one of the gals asked, "wow, how did you get from PA where you were born and raised to CA?" Unheard of for them but easy to me, "marry young, big bad mistake and then stay in CA." "But what, you didn't go back home?" "No I did not want to." How could they understand my streak of independence, let alone my life story? True I do not share my story openly with many. It takes some time to build that bridge of trust and familiarity and that is what I miss. My bridges with so many.

But today while ironing, thinking about our visit with our friends, I was reminded that is what I miss--that long time connection, a history, with those who know us, those who know our history. People with whom we share a long time bond.

In CA life was different. So many of us lived away from our families so we bonded. We formed connections stronger than family, we did build our own family. People reached out to one another and somehow linked. We became a family of choice. We learned about each other. Here no one is interested, they think everyone is like them and they neither ask nor learn about anyone else. Maybe it's their "MN nice." But to me it is very cold. The culture has a heavy Scandinavian influence and perhaps that is the way that culture is, closed. At least so it seems to me.

This weekend is "Applefest" here in La Crescent. It's a weekend long celebration of the apple orchards that used to be that made this town the Apple Capital of the State. No more, but they cling to the past, their history, try to resurrect it and celebrate it. People return to their home base. These are people who have expanded their horizons and their experiences far beyond this tiny settlement. People return knowing more. While they enjoy their respite, do they long for their pasts? I think not. Tomorrow the Legion hosts an "Old timers meal" one where the old folks eat, congregate and greet. Except the old folks are here, they've remained. Jerry's mother goes to this event each year. She's 92 and wonders why she knows no one from the past! Don't laugh, she means it--but does not realize she has outlived everyone! She has outlived her history.

When I am in PA and with my long time school friends, it is not just a reliving of our past, our history but a reconnection of that link. We update and enjoy. That's what this weekend was. We did not wallow in the past as we caught up on our lives. But that bond of history from the past binds us. They moved to NC to follow their son & family. It would not have been their place of choice, but they too wanted out of CA. Nevin should have been the first one out the door, retired military and wanting to leave long before we did. It just didn't happen until their son moved.

Too bad CA lost us all, because we all share a history of a place where we enjoyed chosen families. I don't think that happens anyplace else in this country--maybe AZ when the snow birds congregate? I think about this. While I don't cling to the past, I miss that link.

Is email dying?

Is email dying?

Vintage money and the $2 bill story

I thought this was so funny. Probably because our 19 year old grand daughter, Janine is fascinated with "old money." When she was here last year she noticed the $20 bills that Jerry was spending did not look like the $20 bills she sees all the time in CA where she lives. So we have begun to include vintage $$ with each of her birthday, Christmas gifts. so far she has a $10, $20 and a $50 which has been the piece de resistance. But she wants to keep her vintage money, "forever" she says, "just like Grandpa!" She cannot figure out where he gets this old money. We told her out in the back yard, we have a coffee can or two buried. I think she might believe that. This year for Christmas we are going to send her a $2 bill for sure with this story! Now her older brother has no problem spending any of the cash he receives, old or new. But not so with Janine, who now has the dilemma with the $50. She has so many needs in her opinion but keeping that vintage money seems to be her goal right now.

>
> Everyone should start carrying $2 bills! I am STILL laughing!! I think we need to quit saving our $2 bills and bring them out in public. The younger generation doesn't even know they exist.
>
>
> STORY:
>
> On my way home from work, I stopped at Taco Bell for a quick bite to eat. In my billfold are a $50 bill and a $2 bill. I figure that with a $2 bill, I can get something to eat and not have to worry about anyone getting irritated at me for trying to break a $50 bill.


> Me: 'Hi, I'd like one seven-layer burrito please, to go.'
>
> Server: 'That'll be $1.04. Eat in?'
>
> Me: 'No, it's to go.' At this point, I open my billfold and hand him the $2 bill. He looks at it kind of funny.
>
> Server: 'Uh, hang on a sec, I'll be right back.'
>
> He goes to talk to his manager, who is still within my earshot. The following conversation occurs between the two of them:
>
> Server: 'Hey, you ever see a $2 bill?'
>
> Manager : 'No. A what?'
>
> Server: 'A $2 bill. This guy just gave it to me..'
>
> Manager: 'Ask for something else. There's no such thing as a $2 bill.'
>
> Server: 'Yeah, thought so.' He comes back to me and says, 'We don't take these. Do you have anything else?'
>
> Me : 'Just this fifty. You don't take $2 bills? Why?'
>
> Server: 'I don't know.'
>
> Me: 'See here where it says legal tender?'
>
> Server: 'Yeah.'
>
> Me: 'So, why won't you take it?'
>
> Server: 'Well, hang on a sec.' He goes back to his manager, who has been watching me like I'm a shoplifter, and says to him, 'He says I have to take it..'
>
> Manager: 'Doesn't he have anything else?'
>
> Server: 'Yeah, a fifty. I'll get it and you can open the safe and get change
>
> Manager: 'I'm not opening the safe with him in here.'
>
> Server: 'What should I do?'
>
> Manager: 'Tell him to come back later when he has real money.'
>
> Server : 'I can't tell him that! You tell him.'
>
> Manager: 'Just tell him.'
>
> Server: 'No way! This is weird. I'm going in back.
>
> The manager approaches me and says, 'I'm sorry, but we don't take big bills this time of night.'
>
> Me: 'It's only seven o'clock! Well then, here's a two dollar bill.'
>
>Manager: 'We don't take those, either.'
>>
> Me: 'Why not?'
>
> Manager: 'I think you know why.'
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>> Me: 'No really, tell me why.'
>
> > Manager : 'Please leave before I call mall security.'
>
> Me: 'Excuse me?'
>
> > Manager: 'Please leave before I call mall security.'


> Me: 'What on earth for?'
>
>> Manager: 'Please, sir.'
>
> > Me: 'Uh, go ahead, call them.'
>
>> Manager: 'Would you please just leave?'
>
> Me: 'No.'
>
> Manager: 'Fine - have it your way then.'
>
> Me: 'Hey, that's Burger King, isn't it?' At this point, he backs away from me and calls mall security on the phone around the corner.
>
> I have two people staring at me from the dining area, and I begin laughing out loud, just for effect. A few minutes later this 45-year-oldish guy comes in.

> Guard: 'Yeah, Mike, what's up?'
>
> Manager (whispering): 'This guy is trying to give me some (pause) funny money..'

> Guard: 'No kidding! What?'
>
>> Manager: 'Get this. A two dollar bill.'
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>> Guard (incredulous): 'Why would a guy fake a two dollar bill?'
>
> Manager: 'I don't know. He's kinda weird. He says the only other thing he has is a fifty.'
>
> Guard: 'Oh, so the fifty's fake!'
>
> Manager: 'No, the two dollar bill is.'
>
> > Guard: 'Why would he fake a two dollar bill?'
>
>> Manager: 'I don't know! Can you talk to him, and get him out of here?'
>
>> Guard: 'Yeah.' Security Guard walks over to me and......
>
> Guard: 'Mike here tells me you have some fake bills you're trying to use.'
>
>> Me: 'Uh, no.'
>
> Guard: 'Lemme see 'em.'
>
> Me: 'Why?'
>
> > Guard: 'Do you want me to get the cops in here?' At this point I am ready to say, ' Sure, please!' but I want to eat, so I say , 'I'm just trying to buy a burrito and pay for it with this two dollar bill. I put the bill up near his face, and he flinches like I'm taking a swing at him. He takes the bill, turns it over a few times in his hands, and he says, 'Hey, Mike, what's wrong with this bill?'
>
> Manager: 'It's fake.'
>
> Guard: 'It doesn't look fake to me.'
>
> Manager: 'But it's a two dollar bill.'
>
> Guard: 'Yeah?
> '
> Manager: 'Well, there's no such thing, is there?'
>
> The security guard and I both look at him like he's an idiot, and it dawns on the guy that he has no clue and is an idiot .. So, it turns out that my burrito was free, and he threw in a small drink and some of those cinnamon thingies, too.
>
> Made me want to get a whole stack of two dollar bills just to see what happens when I try to buy stuff. If I got the right group of people, I could probably end up in jail. You get free food there, too.
>
> Just think...those two will be voting soon
>
> ....YIKES!!!
>
> Too late, we already have a nation full of them.
>