It's Spring at last, I think

Exactly a week ago today on March 10 we saw the first robins of 2009. In fact it was about 5:00PM and our front yard from which the snow has melted but the ground is still not thawed hosted flocks of robins. Looking out the front window, I spotted their orange breasts. the robins are not our favorite birds here in MN. In fact, we have decided they are kind of nasty. Two days before the robin spotting I noticed a pair of doves on the ground at the bird feeders. That was my first clue of spring.

We have become amateur bird watchers here in MN. It's easy to do, just look out any window to spot cardinals, sparrows, nuthatches, chickadees, woodpeckers of all varieties, robins, crows, hawks, grackles, red winged black birds, juncos, wrens, buntings, etc. Well the variety depends on the season. The eagles are back along the Mississippi, fishing, standing on some floating ice and observing the water, then soaring with a catch. It's a marvelous sight and so common here that people pay little attention. For us though, the eagles are intriguing magnificence. One photo here from 2 years ago...Trouble is I can't get a photo because there is no pedestrian walkway on that highway bridge. Even I am not foolish enough to stop on a 65 mph roadway and pull over to get a photo. The same reason I can't get the best photos of our bluffs in all seasonal dress. Also along the river we see the returning egrets, cranes and herons. And all this just on our way to La Crosse.

At our bird feeders, though we have had a different species partaking this year, deer known as Mama and Bambi. They knock the feeders around to loosen the grain and seed and then come up and graze. Bambi is quite indifferent to me as I open the back garage door, step out onto the walkway and still keeping a respectable distance, calling "Bambi, get out of there..." Bambi looks at me non-chalantly, puts his head down and continues to graze, "oh, it's you, harmless." This severe winter brought the deer up to our doorsteps, to nibble on evergreens. While it's quaint it's not a good thing. There are many piles of deer do-do, aka scat all over the yards. And they are rude enough to leave scat in a drain pipe that Jerry'd set along the front to drain the melting snows into the farther part of the yard. The other day we chased Bambi and Mama from the feeders three times. Now when they see Jerry they must know that he used to hunt their cousin's in CA because they flee immediately. But me, not.

The last several days have been gorgeous and balmy in the high 50's and 60 degrees--sunny and warm enough for shirt sleeves. Walking weather and time to get out and patrol the neighborhoods. There are many homes for sale across So. 11th St. Several are by owners and one of interest to us is Jerry's cousin's. We have no interest in buying or moving from our home, but we are just observing. Their home is small and a good starter or a small enough for an older person, but no takers so far. It's been on the market since last fall. The cousins plant to vacate the north and head south to Texas where some of their adult children live. Funny thing is they lived there before and she, Shirley, didn't like it. but then Shirley doesn't like anything so that's no gauge. Another cousin also has one of the houses on his property for sale in an effort to evict a non-paying renter. The renter is his god-child who has never paid rent for 6 years, so why it's become an issue with him now, who knows. It has been a long winter.

But for now we know that spring is on it's way. The daylight savings time change brings us light to nearly 7:00PM here in the north. The downside of that is the sun shines so intently in through the kitchen and dining room that any dust on table or floor is readily observable. Really Friday, March 20th is the first official day of spring. So we look toward departing tundra and warmth ahead bringing tons of outside chores.

One read and a flop

Continuing to post my reads so that at the end of this year I will know what I read and hopefully not buy the same book when I see them at a sale.

BIG FLOP: Red River by Lalita Tademy
I read her Cane River novel a couple years back and thought it was ok. So I picked this from the sale table of Barnes & Noble. Big Mistake. Supposedly based on the true story of what happened in April 1873 in Colfax, LA but slow writing. About the newly freed black residents during the beginning of Reconstruction. With friends in Alexandria, La. and having visited Colfax Parish I thought I'd enjoy this. Pure torture to get through 92 pages. I thought it would get better. This goes right into the donate bag.

Sunrise by Karen Kingsbury is one of those fluffy women's books that took only a couple sittings to breeze through. Karen is a well known Christian writer who is very popular with lots of women, and some men too, I guess. This book will be the first in the Baxter Family Sunrise series and introduces Dayne Mathews, the returning lost son from Hollywood to the Indiana Baxter family. It is an easy read and enjoyable enough and one of those books to set with when not wanting to concentrate too much. Family and faith triumph and all is well. And no 4 Letter words to worry about. No big language either .

The Preacher and the Presidents by Nancy Gibbs and Michael Duffy, published 2007 the true story of Billy Graham and his years as counsel to all the presidents from Harry Truman through George W. Bush. It's an excellent book and a keeper for my library and one I will only loan to those I absolutely trust to return it. I have this idea that grand daughter and niece can help me catalogue all these books when they visit in April--wonder if that will work. I can use their help to read titles, authors and enter into a data base. But back to this great book which I bought at the Christian book store using the gift certificate our departing minster gave me last year. I loved every page and reading the history of different events. Over the years I have developed more respect for Gerald Ford though I was very against his pardon of Nixon. I came to understand why Ford took that action and agree it needed to be done. This book contains other information about that in Ford's own words invoking his belief in God. As I read through the JFK era I realized how far we have not come as voters. Graham predicted that with the election of a Catholic president "never again would religion prove so divisive. I think that is a hurdle that has been permanently passed." How wrong, think of those who spurned Mitt Romney because he was a Mormon in 2008!

I especially liked reading the different episodes with the different Presidents as if I were reading short stories. I never lost my train of concentration because the chapters are distinctive. This is the kind of book that does not have to be read at one sitting and is still so enjoyable. From the skepticism of Harry Truman to the embrace of Nixon each presidential encounter is different.

It shows Billy Graham's humanity and weaknesses too as he gets drawn into some political areas where he vowed he would not be drawn. I was fascinated by the LBJ interactions with Billy Graham. The chapters on Nixon demonstrate Graham's devoutly helping his friend and yet even Billy Graham is manipulated and deceived by Nixon's shenanigans and perhaps distrusted by some of the Nixon colleagues. Billy Graham never admits that but trusts. The reader perceives that from the writing . This book shows Grahams's remarkable character and conservative leanings, but never reveals his political party. Perhaps it intrigued me because I too started out a Democrat.

There is interesting perspective about the disagreement between Norman Vincent Peale and Billy Graham and a mention of William Randolph Hearst. Billy Grahams's famous crusades are slightly mentioned this book. The real focus is interaction with the presidents and his determination to keep their trials and quests in confidence.

Some quotes to give a flavor of the writing: From the authors, "We knew that there were millions of people inclined to see Graham as a saint: we'd also encountered those who dismissed him as a showman, a sycophant, or a pawn of powerful men, with a mass-market message too silky and simple to merit further study. Graham agreed to talk to us without any conditions or control over what we would write. He had one challenge to us as we set out:"I hope it will just be fair and honest and tell the bad and the good." The book does that!

"Of the 11 presidents he'd known, 10 became friends and seven of those close ones. They entered into an unspoken covenant of private counsel and public support..."

"That still left the problem of election years. Again and again he vowed to stay out; again and again he was drawn back in. He always reminded people he was raised a Democrat and had friends in both parties and while this was true, it became clear long ago he had the soul of a mainstream moderate Republican...."

"His reluctance to challenge presidents privately or chastise them publicly reflected his conviction that the truth that mattered most was the gospel truth;..."

Reading this book left me much more curious about Billy Graham. And I have pulled his autobiography "Just As I Am" from my shelf and placed it out front on the To Be Read shelf.

Fat Tuesday by Sandra Brown, who is one of my favorite mystery, thrill writers is a typical Brown book. Burke Bastle is the cop with nothing left to lose and Pinkie Duvall is the corrupt attorney who would make him lose it all. It's a quick read with fascinating characters including a Madame of a New Orleans bordello and the former cop who becomes a recluse running a fishing resort on the bayou. My only quibble with Sandra Brown is that despite the intrigue and great stories she cannot write without including sex scenes. While some find these steamy I guess I show my age by being bored and skimming past that. However, this is another good read worth taking along on a plane ride. It's paperback and easily left behind once read.

That's the catch up on my 2009 reads so far.

More to learn all the time

Lately we have been hearing a lot about Twitter. Jerry, who thinks I'm an up to date techie on most things, asks me, "What's Twitter?" Well I think it's another search engine but then I hear Martha Stewart talking about Twittering, asking her guest, "Do you twitter your friends?" Sounds obscene to me. Well time to take a break from Martha too, I think--her last few shows have featured rap guys (I hesitate to use the term artists) doing crafts with her....."Hey Martha girl, I mean ya know, this be 'de way to do "dat?" I suspect this is her attempt to draw in viewers. Well that draws out viewers like me who have less than no interest in rap, hip hop or whatever they call themselves. Or maybe this is to play to the players in DC as she touts Obama the Hero. Yech! Is everyone in the east a liberal?

Anyway do I need to now learn to Twitter? My cuz, Diane tells me I have to Tweet if I Twitter. She thinks she's funny! I do too!

Shoots, I have just mastered Facebook after nearly a year. It's where many of my friends and relatives are congregating. Yet I admit to being a bit cautious there too---I don't use my primary email for it and never play their games nor purchase through it. I'm just not that comfortable there yet. But yesterday while it snowed (again and still!) I downloaded Facebook to my Blackberry. So see I am capable of lots of techie stuff.

A compliment from a friend via email about how smart I was in a reply I wrote cautioning people to be careful on the 'net made me recall how being known as smart was the highest compliment folks could pay me. Then in my career days when we did a lot of personality profiles and assessments. Mine invariably revealed that I valued intelligence, smarts above all else. I still do value intelligence. And that is why I don't do stupids!

I have a low tolerance for dummies. But they are all around us. Boxes of rocks. The entire dumbing down of our schools has brought us to where today's high school graduates are clueless and need at least a couple years of college to achieve some smattering of education...well that supports the constant need for higher education till we have an entire society of people educated (using the term loosely) far beyond their level of intelligence.

Now I've been around long enough to know that my idea of stupid is often someone else's idea of a jewel! Else why would the voters have elected U NO Who in November? I continue to be disgusted with those who are led as lemmings and who are unable or unwilling to think, research or even ponder. Just taking media's word for it. and there we have the Obamas leading us along the path of the pied piper. Oh I know he has his fans, why some of my friends and family are Obamanites. OBAMA= One big ass mistake, America!

But dummies and stupids. When I get annoyed one of my long time friends in CA reminds me, "you never did do well with stupid." So why would it be any different today? And then lest I join them I have to continue to learn and I suppose that means researching and exploring things like Twitter.

Different worlds of communication

I've just spent several hours tidying up my project room, which is the big downstairs bedroom that is off the study and that also serves as my work out room. I love being able to just leave my projects in process out in what may appear disarray in that room. That way when, the mood strikes me I can go in there and start to work on sorting photos, scrap booking or whatever the pending project may be. I don't have to pack it back into a box and put it away because that room doesn't get any other use. And it's downstairs and not visible to guests when we entertain upstairs. Lucky me!

But, something needs to be done sometime soon, so I chose today. Janine, one and only grand daughter is coming for a week in April. She will be here the same week that Jerry's brother, Rod and family will be here. Rod & Katie are teachers in So. Calif. and Janine is a college student in No. Calif. but every one's spring break is at the same time. So we will have a houseful for that week.

This bothers no one least of all, Janine, who announced she would be taking over the downstairs--this is our finished basement. I agreed she could have the bedroom down there but Grandma would have to tidy up her projects--some of which are strung across the bed. Janine likes the big screen TV & the rec-room and so fancies herself to be in charge of the lower floor. While I can keep my sewing strewed across the coffee table in the study I could not leave the bedroom in it's mess. So now things are packed up and into the closet. Trouble is, I won't likely get to doing anything with those photos, etc. for who knows how long now--out of sight out of mind.

Today while tidying I sorted and threw out some things. I started with a small box of photos and trinkets from my grandmother. She had saved these and I brought them from PA in 2004 when mom died. I did toss out photos of people no one knows. I have asked the only two who might--Aunt Jinx and Uncle Carl and they could not identify the people, so no need to keep these. Old black and white photos from how long ago. I found wedding photos of my cousin Roland who lives in Madison, WI and will mail those off to him. Another treasure which I'll pass along to him are photos of my aunt and 2nd cousin, Stella's, trip to visit them when they lived in Milwaukee. These show he and his folks and his brother and he should enjoy them. It was always a big deal to the Polacks in PA to take the train to Milwaukie...I made that trip every other summer with my grandparents. Rollie can pass them along to his daughter or one of his son's. Those are in an old black and white photo book, remember how the old photos were developed into these spiral photo books? They'd charge us who knows how much for such a thing today!

What I find very strange is how well the old black and white photos have lasted. Some of the photos are from the 1940's and 1950's, yet they are just as clear and certainly better than the color photos we took in the 1970's.

What brings me to the blog now is a telegram that I found. My grandmother had saved a Western Union telegram which Uncle Carl sent her in maybe 1944 or so, when he was in the Army. And there it is today in 2009! A telegram wishing her and all Happy Valentine's Day. Way before cell phones, texting, Facebook and/or email. Hey, this must even be prior to Hallmark cards in all their glory which are used to celebrate and greet today!

I wondered if it scared her when she opened it, because telegrams were not a good thing in World War II. She kept it a long time, so I cannot part with it in 2009. It will go into the Ostroski-Kochanowski Family scrapbook. That is when I get back to the projects! A historical relic of communication from the past. How different it is today.

So here it is, the scan of the telegram and photo of my grandparents and me. That's Teofil Kochanowski (Grandpap) and Rose Ostroski-Kochanowski (Baba to me) , me and Carl Konesky, their son and my uncle. He changed the Polish spelling to something more Americanized Konesky then he and the siblings all began to use Konesky.

I was the star of every photo. On the right, is Uncle Carl home on leave from the Army. There was no date on this photo, but I guess it about 1945 sometime. The clothes were out on the line which shows in another photo taken the same time, and yet in another there I am in the wash tub outside. So it must have been nice weather. And I know this was when they still lived on 2nd Avenue in the old row houses. They and Mom bought the house on Catalpa St. when I was about 2 years old, so here we are prior to that.

I just noticed that an old factory smokestack which would have been across the river looks like it's coming right out from my grandmother's head. Funny. The 2nd street row house was near the river and I know they were all too happy to move up the hill onto Catalpa St.

From Party line to bluetooth/Ipod

I receive copies of my friend's father's poetry from time to time and today he emailed the one below about Party Line. Well, that brought back memories.

I remember our telephone in PA was a party line for a long time while I was growing up. My mother knew who the others were on the line. So she would watch her conversations, because she said some of them didn't have anything better to do than listen to everyone else. This was before afternoon soap operas on TV, heck it was before TV. I still remember that phone number--748R. The trivia that sticks in our heads!

Mom never really trusted the phones but continued to carefully watch her words when talking, years later. She said, "You never know whose listening in." I remember picking up the phone to use it and there would be someone already on it. By the time I became a teenager we had a private line. But unlike today I was not allowed to talk as much as I wanted on the phone. That used to tick me off. Talk about a world so different from today.

Anyway, my mother must have learned something from party lines,or from B-grade detective movies because she'd pick up the downstairs phone if I was nervy enough to sneak upstairs to talk "in private." So when I wanted to yak with my friends we had to go to each other's houses--within a block down the street anyway. We really lived in challenged times.

Then a day came when one friend got her own phone in her room. Her older sister worked and lived at home and gave that to her as a present. We thought she was quite lucky, unlike the rest of us. But it didn't matter because she was the only one with real privacy. The rest of us lived in phone restricted households, so she had no one else to yak with anyway! But we sure envied her phone.

Now with the ipods, cell phones, blue tooths, etc. that kids have attached permanently to their ears I wonder how we made it! And imagine these kids can talk freely about whatever and no Mom's ears to fear! Then again, their freedom comes at a steep price with such creatures as Internet predators, etc. I still think we were better off. Besides we were always walking to someplace or another and so spent lots of time outside--that was where we got our privacy!


Party Line

Hello! What are you doing today?
Well, I just called up to say ---
What's that? She DID? How'd you hear?
No! Wait, this line's not very clear.

Did you say she ---? That's what I thought.
Well, that's the first she ever bought!
What time was that? I mustn't forget;
Hold it 'til I get a cigarette.

Why, they were here until after eight.
Well, gossip's one thing I simply hate,
But I told her more than a thing or two.
O - Oh! Someone on the line, or was it you?

Of course! I know just how you feel,
(Quit clickin' this phone, you lousy heel!)
No, not you, but the way some act,
It's a pity they don't use a little tact!

I'd like to see it. How's it made?
But where did you put the rick-rack braid?
Bet it's cute. I'd like to see her in it;
Oh! Before I forget, have you tried Pinit?

No, I didn't. Never said a word.
Well, that's not the first, so I've heard.
That's what I say --- like an open page,
It's a wonder she wouldn't act her age!

Well, just thought I'd give you a buzz;
Wish I knew who that guy was,
Didn't you hear him try the line?
Yeah, been doin' it since almost nine!

Where were we? Oh, now I remember,
Didn't you hear? Nine, next November!
I thought so last week on the street.
Yeah, everybody thought her so stinkin' sweet.

You don't mean -- ? That awful clown!
Well, I did hear he left town.
You know that other, -- yeah, skinny legs,
Looked like a dog caught suckin' eggs.

Did you see --- Oh! That makes me mad!
If that guy needs the phone so bad
Looks like he'd get another line,
I pay this bill so this one's mine!

I guess that'll hold HIM, -- now, where was I?
Oh, if you're gonna be home, I'll drop by;
If there's any one thing that'll make me balk
It's some guy cuttin' in when I wanta talk!
Bye, see you in a few minutes!

Written by: Coleman Lee Williams
4/28/1900 - 5/5/1988

My winter readings

Thought I'd post what I've been reading since November. I recently signed onto the Wall Street Journal Book Readers blog. While trying to answer some questions I realized that I should keep track of what I've read if only to be able to answer what I liked and did not like. I am an avid reader, a lifelong hobby which keeps me comfortable and entertained. Here they are:

Are You Hungry Dear? by Doris Roberts aka Mom Marie of the TV show, Everybody Loves Raymond. It's an OK book with some interesting flashes into her life and efforts in show business. Most interesting are her inclusion of recipes which makes this book a keeper for my collection.

No Time for Goodbye by Linwood Barclay. This is a decent mystery about a rebellious teenage girl whose family disappears. As an adult she deals still with the trauma by becoming over protective toward her young daughter. I have not read anything else by Barclay, but would do so. It's a quick read that doesn't take much concentration, but kept me reading to find out what happened.

The Tipping Point by Malcolm Gladwell. I had this book on my shelf for the past year and just finally decided I had to read it because the author has now written other books. Subtitled "How Little things can make a big difference", this book is fascinating and outstanding about why and how things happen as they do today using an analogy of epidemics. It's about change and those who affect, inspire and lead it. Three agents of change according o Gladwell are the Law of the Few, the Stickiness Factor and the Power of Context. I so enjoyed it that I sent a copy to my friend Sandy in CA. It can be read intermittently which I did while reading along something else for sheer entertainment. This book makes you think. Gladwell tells how Hush Puppies and Sesame Street became landmark successes. I especially related to his description of the Connectors, people who know lots of people. I think I'm one of those or at least I used to be during my career days in CA. Amazingly at Steve's memorial service his friend Ron described Steve as a spider who wove a web of friendship among many different peoples. That's a Connector! I was proud to hear our son was one. I also was intrigued at the description of the power of context and how children are shaped by their environments and the affect of their culture, their friends. Well there is much I could write about this book. It's definitely a keeper for me and one I'll browse from time to time again and again.

The Secret Lives of Fortunate Wives by Sarah Strohmeyer. This is an ok Chic book. To me these tales of these desperate housewives was tedious at times. A native son marries a reporter in Europe; this woman was raised on the other side of the tracks and her attempts to fit in and accommodate to their lifestyles, social posturing and veneers has moments. This is light reading. I found myself forcing me to keep reading. The most interesting part was when one of the desperadas gets into legal troubles. Would I read any other books by this author, probably not.

Still Aliceby Lisa Genova. An absolute smash read. This is her first novel and I can't wait for more. This book chronicles the descent into Alzheimer's by Alice Howland, a Harvard professor as well as the effect on the family and how she deals with the manifestations of her increasing dementia. Well written. Of immediate interest to me when I saw it on the table as a new release in Barnes & Noble. My mother had Alzheimer's so I avidly read anything fiction or non that I find about it. One memorable moment is when Alice arrives home from work and her husband looks at her with horror. He remarks something like, "You are supposed to be in Chicago at a conference." Alice recognizes then that her downslide is accelerating. How she tries to rationalize her behaviors and how she visits doctors alone at first without telling her husband are heart rending. This is also a keeper for me.

The Dream of Scipioby Iain Pears. I read only up to page 43 and could not continue. It's supposed to be thought provoking, set in Provence and flashes among three eras between 1943 and the time of the Romans. It was a local book club read here in La Crescent and all I can figure is they must have been desperate. With so many good books around I just could not waste anymore time on this.

Right now I am deep into The Preacher and the Presidentsa true story about Rev. Billy Graham and his counsel, friendships, and encounters with all the Presidents. I am enjoying it immensely as it has history and perspective. I will write more about it later.

Long John Winter

For obvious reasons I have not been wrting. Finally at the urging of friends and my psyche I will get back to my meanderings. Briefly the Jan 10, 2009 service for Steve in Auburn could not have been lovelier, other than if it had not had to be. We were blessed with a sunny, balmy day with warmth streaming through the lovely stained glass windows at Auburn Pioneer UMC. The music was beyond comforting, praising, outstanding. The songs, On Eagles Wings, Father I Place Into Your Hands, Be Not Afraid and You'll Never Walk Alone stole the show. Everyone commented and some asked if we had recorded it. Jerry said, "Hell no! Who wants to go through this more than once!" Pastor John delivered a eulogy as though he'd known Steve, just from briefly talking to us. The comments about Steve's cars brought lots of memories to his friends and laughter around the church, a good thing. The church was filled with friends and family; not all signed in but it was about 200 folks! Beyond our expectations. We were overwhelmed. So many of Steve's high school friends came, I had not seen them since the 80's. So many spoke about their memories and about how dear a person and loving a friend Steve was. To see so many full of grief and support was a tremendous blessing. I know that his spirit had to be filled with joy and wonder overlooking us. I spoke first because I knew that if I could others would. And they did. Rhonda wrote her pages down and gave them to us. After each one spoke they gave us both a big hug. Jerry really fell apart at the church. He finally gathered himself to bring the urn downstairs to the fellowship hall. He said, "I guess I'm not as tough as I thought I was." One friend replied, "We knew that about you." One of Steve's long time friends,Eric Knierem is a pilot with Alaska airlines. His folks still live in the area and they told him about Steve's death. Eric and family live in Washington and were on vacation in Puerto Rico. Eric flew in just for the service. The service and the people helped dull the bitter sting. My only regret is that we did not get to speak to everyone. So many of the school folks, Steve's co-workers did not come down to the fellowship hall. But even in the hall with the food and visiting I did not get to speak to everyone. Jerry's brother, Rodney and family drove up from southern CA; his sister Barb flew in from Denver, my cousins Larry & Lori from Cottonwood and my aunt Pearl from Grass Valley and of course the Morrisons of Murietta, Alan (son) and Angel and Janine,grand daughter and Brian, grandson. Such are the times when we know what family really means.

Well life in the arctic tundra of MN goes on. Jerry acquired a bad head cold that is making the La Crescent rounds. Being a thoughtful husband he shared it with me in it's last stages. I of course had to improve upon it and am now in my last stages, at least I hope the last. The second full week is wearing me out mostly with the night cough; but this too shall pass. Some days last week I didn't even get dressed. Merely got up, drank hot tea and went back to bed. All my life whenever I'm sick I can sleep, so that works for me.

Such sub zero temperatures as we had through January prompted me to take Jerry's advice and buy long underwear. Even before in the CA Sierra mountains when I cross country skied I didn't need long underwear. Some days here when I ventured outside to help shovel snow in the beaming sun, I donned tights under my jeans. Jerry and others all wear longies. I noticed viisiting with a neighbor that she wore them too. So, maybe it's time for me to breeak down and invest to make life more tolerable in sub-zero temperatures. I was astonished at the cost of women's longies! So I waited till the big sale and even then at half off these cuddlies are costly. But now I'm ready. Thankfully now the snow is melting and temperatures are in the 40's and yesterday a record 51 degrees! We will be putting this long john winter behind us!

I've been working on the Snow White quilt for granddaughter. I've learned that I will not make another quilt starting with 2 1/2 inch squares. No sir, the next time I will have larger pieces. It is looking good but the cutting, sewing and pressing each seam is taking lots of time. That keeps me inside and out of trouble. I had to order some 108 inch wide fabric for the backing from Hancock of Paducah, KY. For several days I could not get through on the phone. Well, duh, it dawned on me. KY had those horrid ice storms and their power was out. Finally though I made contact. The fabric I selected will not be aailable until March 1, which is just fine. I will be done maybe with the front by then!

Don't Ask Me Why, Thoughts, and 90 Minutes

Photo taken Christmas Day to email to granddaughter in Ca who wondered about our snow. It's cold now but lots of snow has melted. We fear not, more on the way!
We are on countdown days till we leave for CA on 1/6. Steve's memorial service is coming together. Just like life, there were some unseen twists. But if we trust God as hard as it gets He will see us though.

Although I'd talked with John, the pastor, and arranged for 1/10 for the service, I began to fret about how to have the food after the service. I can hear Steve now, "MOM! You worry too much!" Jerry echoes that. I guess I do. They say so!

So I left a message on the church answering machine. Well both John and the secretary, Melinda were on vacation between Christmas and New Years. One well meaning senior lady went through the messages and tried to "help" by returning the call. I was not at home so she talked to Jerry. But Jerry didn't get her name only the hard message that John was on vacation for 2 weeks! And further the church did not have a food committee. And no one was there! When I came home Jerry said, "someone from the church called and it doesn't sound good." I assured him that I talked to John. Jerry remembered as he was sitting right there. But still this lady called. I asked if it was a certain senior person whom I suspected. He didn't know. So back to fretting. Will life ever flow smoothly again? Remember we are in MN and all this is being done by email, phone or fax, long distance. For the 3rd month in a row now I have exceeded my cell phone minutes which is big time $$. But this too shall pass.

In a panic, though I prayed for stillness, and for help, please, now? We tried to rent the Portuguese hall in Newcastle. Our friend found it was booked. So back to more serious prayer and that this would be fine. After all, I talked to John and this was a misunderstanding surely.

Yes indeed that is what happened. Another call New Years Day from Fred assuring me John would be back and all would go fine. Last night John himself called to assure me; he'd heard the rumors. When he identified the person I knew that was who would have gotten it twisted--I'd even suggested her name. Lord when I get older please stop me from meddling, from creating havoc by trying to do good. Actually Lord stop me for doing that right now anyway at whatever age.

There have been two blessings through this. First, Adrian Pell who is such a talented humble musician sent an email about a new Church blog at Pioneer. When I asked him to play for the service he said, "Yes." His calendar is empty that day! Hallelujah! Then last night I talked with Dawn Mailcoat who sings beautifully and who will be able to sing the hymns--if we are especially lucky Shawn and Lynn will join her in a trio! Hallelujah again! I want upbeat, no organ, piano and lighter singing. I've asked for Be Not Afraid, Eagles Wings, Father I Place into Your Hands, Is It I Lord, and You'll Never Walk Alone. We used You'll Never Walk Alone at Mom's--she loved that song and so do I.

You know the hardest thing to gauge--how much food for the luncheon after the service? More fretting. Steve's good friend Wes who was trained as a first class chef is preparing the food. I was in distress trying to estimate numbers. Wes said, "Pat don't worry we are not having this to make people fat! If they come to a funeral to eat only that's too bad. We will just do our best."

After all isn't that what we can do anyway in all circumstances? Just do our best. It's what I told Steve; it's what I tried to do.


Last night I went outside in the snow to burn November and December pages from the 2008 calendar. Kind of my own little private burning bowl ceremony. But it was so cold the pages would not burn. I'll try again using a clay flower pot today! The days that came starting with the November hospitalization and following on through Steve's rehospitalization December6 to his passing on December 18 are days I will never forget. But we will try to keep the best memories and not recall the jagged edged days as we get on in life--this life we have. This life that is for the living.

I just read Don Piper's "90 Minutes in Heaven." A remarkable true story of the Baptist preacher who dies and is Heaven for 90 minutes before returning to life. It had been on my shelf for awhile. It was perfect timing for me to read it. Being a believer is easy to me but to read an experience that validates belief is encouraging. I recommend it for anyone, especially anyone who is grieving. One line that struck me, "We never lose someone when we know where they are...." referring to Heaven and Belief. So we never lose Steve. We know he is in a better place. We are just left behind here to do our best.

A friend in CA has a treasury of poetry and verse written by his late father. He shares it with me email and I always enjoy reading these. I keep saying he and his brother should publish these and maybe have some sketches or photos along with some of the writings. They have copyrighted them. Last summer, with his permission, I took one, "The Library" to our little La Crescent library. Lavonne Beach, our librarian, loved it so that she framed it and it is on display right at the front where books are checked out. Here's Don't Ask Me Why"


Don't ask me why the sun shines all the day.
Don't ask me why there's beauty in lambs at play.
Don't ask me why the weak have the heavier load,
Or why the savior of the garden is the ugly toad.

Don't ask me why that lovers always quarrel.
Don't ask me why the skein of life's a snarl.
Don't ask me why sound reason aside we shove,
Or, why we always kill the thing we love!

Don't ask me why we do the things we do.
Don't ask me why to ourselves we're seldom true.
Don't ask me why we revel, deep, in strife
Or, pleasure take, in baiting man or wife!

Don't ask me why we take the easier road.
Don't ask me why we seldom share the load
Of those, the weak, whose loss was but our gain,
Who suffered much that they might ease our pain!

Don't ask me why we love the meaner part.
Don't ask me why we shun the breaking heart
Of those, whose life, it could be ours to share
And, sharing, make it easier to bear!

Don't ask me why; I'm only human too.
Don't ask me why, the answer is never new
But lies in the womb of Time, endless, without span.
Ask of your God, but never ask of man!

Written by: Coleman Lee Williams
4/28/1900 - 5/5/1988