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Monday, August 6, 2012

Ben Franklin nails it

Family visitors, from CA
"Guests like fish smell after three days...." Benjamin Franklin wrote in Poor Richard's Almanac  along with  other wisdom and wit.  I have known fish to smell on first contact and the same with company within the first day.  On the other hand, I have known fish without any odor and company that could move in and stay as long as they wanted... This visit from family is a mix. 

I call this,  Checkin' it out online!
Jerry's younger brother and family (wife and 13 year old daughter) are here from Riverside, CA to visit their  95 year old mother who is in the local nursing home.  It is their first visit in four years so it is  a good thing they came to see her, although I bet she makes it to 100.   Both BIL (brother in law) and wife are high school teachers and exemplify why there is limited hope for education.  they are dedicated  liberals, a union supported lifestyle and of course political discussions are off limits here for this visit as we are more conservative.  But somehow these opposing viewpoints bubble into conversation.   and then it  truly becomes a fish of a different odor. BIL preaches equality, or tax the rich and make it go farther.  What?  Farther than where?  This stinks.  SIL is a nice person who finds life amusing all the time,  chatters constantly and translates whatever is happening in front of her simultaneously to whoever is nearby.  Sometimes this is amusing sometimes not.   BIL well, he kind of ambles while the wife flits.  Everything is an adventure, an experience to SIL.  Like the clothes line I use becoming a photo op because she"s never used one and thought Sophia (daughter) must experience this. We've done some interesting things like the trip to the Shrine of Guadalupe in the hills of La Crosse, dinner at Tom Sawyers with cheese curds and home made chips, and local sights.   But this is the small town, not big cities, they will compensate by spending nearly a week in Chicago from here,  really.  To each their own .
 
Then there is their 13 year old who is a very quiet big girl.  They do everything in a trio, or in a herd, my term.  The niece masks her boredom well but when I suggest that they might consider bringing along a friend for her on travels, they gasped.  What and dilute attention?   I feel some sympathy for this child forced to hang with old people for two weeks and that includes us as well as her 50 something year old parents.  We see underway another stifling of any independence or ability to think or fend for oneself.  Mom  hovers with consistent advice of what to do say, not do,  even where and when to sit.  This morning I turned my head to laugh when mom said to her, "Sophia say good morning to everyone...."  "Good morning everyone" responds Sophia.  Is this  the new way that families behave or is this a late stage parenthood clinging to adolescence to perpetuate and define itself?  I admit I do not understand it this business of being the child"s friend, their cohort instead of their parent.  But then I'm done with all that.

I am tired because the weather had been unbearably hot and  this visit  has meant  my thinking for three additional people who are bewildered at best and self confident in ignorance at the worst when visiting the SNF  and MIL, what to do/not do/ and so on.  Gads, you are supposed to be educated people, read up on dementia.  One of SIL's funniest  and yet sincere questions was  "how do they float" when seeing the huge  barges filled with grain being shoved down the Mississippi.   Some of these questions need no answers.  We did have a  fun time at the Winona Great River Shakespeare Festival Saturday evening where I laughed for almost two hours at "The Complete Works of William Shakespeare, Abridged" a spoof, a farce and all over ribald hilarity. Jerry opted to stay home and spend the evening watching Olympics, but I did enjoy it. 

To top it off I had a dermatologist appointment today to remove a growth from my left shoulder top, not a cyst, not a mole, nothing malignant they are sure, but an unsightly and uncomfortable lump that was unsightly and  annoying.  I can spend the rest of the day icing and lounging, chilling.  We have plenty of room in our home, beds and baths for all, but some how I feel older when it comes to tending to it all......maybe that's it I'm older.  It's  not easy and so it goes.... or I need to adopt Jerry's attitude, "expect nothing and not be disappointed..."
Here stands Sophia with 3 generations of underwear,
hers, her mom's and her grandma"s (MIL) whose laundry
I do while we are at home not traveling.


I conclude this post withhout further airing of dirty laundry! 

3 comments:

  1. Many truisms about family in this post, Pat. We all have them and they can be frustrating and amusing, like ourselves.

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  2. I hope your shoulder heals quickly but am really happy it's not a life-threatening situation.

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  3. Amusing post, Pat. I think most visitors are a mix, although our visit in Modesto with the three other generations was without flaw. Even the five little ones were surprisingly well behaved through many hours and did not interfere with the adult conversation. Yes, I agree on being the parent thing. If you do a passable job of parenting, the kids, when grown, will usually become your friends.

    Hopefully, this visit will broaden their horizons, and add the realization that CA isn't the whole world many here believe it to be. The parroting, "Good morning everyone," captured my funny bone. Sounds like a line right out of a family sit-com. And the Shakespeare thing sounds like a blast.

    Good to know you survived rubbing elbows with liberals. Maybe the beginning of wisdom will spring from their visit, assuming they survive the week in Chicago.

    Tom

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