Revealing the other half Sepia Saturday week 37 (click here to go to the Sepia website)

Grandmother Esther Behrndt, Jerry 1 year old,
and Mother, Florence. 

I spent some time on the genealogy of Jerry's (the other half) side this week, so thought I would share a photo or two introducing him and his peculiar side.  I have often said that if I had known  his family, in particular his mother when we first met that I would not have ever gotten involved with him and he says that is why he lived far away from his family.  Further he blames me because he said until we were married they did not bother  with him, after we married it seemed  they had a place to spend summer vacations and they did.  His mother, Florence,  is 93 today is still going kind of strong (but not in the mental area)  and lives here in La Crescent in a senior apartment, though she really belongs in an assisted living place.  But that's another story and she refuses so we get the duty of overseeing  and providing for her.  It's most unfair as Jerry says he has now provided  and cared for her longer than she ever cared  for him.  As the first  born and  oldest son, I think he is a saint, because  this woman , Florence whose life story rivals "Prince of Tides"   has become the bane of our existence. 

She was the baby of the family, the  youngest of  five sisters and nothing like any of them;  then her second husband kept her in a delayed state of adolescence and when he knew he would be  leaving this planet apologized to Jerry that he would have his hands full taking care of his mother who was then about 77 years old....Shudder and so true.  She had four children but the two youngest are really into the ME ME generation and have little to do with her, her daughter lives in CO and about every  two years makes a dutiful trip here for a couple days to visit her mother for a few  hours.

1950 California  bound

As I said, Jerry is a saint, because as this  photo taken in 1950  shows, Florence who never had a  full load of bricks as they say,  determined she would drive herself and her two children, Jerry age 13 and Diane age 12, cross country to California, leaving Minnesota two months after her mother, Esther  who had cared for the children died.  Florence had met  the man who would become her second husband and my father in law, when he rented a room from the family, but he left for work in California.  By this time she had really worn out her welcome in the tiny town of La Crescent with her antics and had built her reputation as a "loose woman."  Not a good thing in a small town, especially the day she took her Sunday School class to the local tavern to find out if her current hot date was there!  You get the picture, people were not willing to put up with that behavior, not in La Crescent.  She was divorced from the first husband, Morrison, who enlisted in the Navy in WWII to get away from her but who also had issues, another story.  Florence had spent time confined to a mental institution for a year, committed by her sister, Jerry's aunt Myrtle, who begged to adopt Jerry so that she and her husband Joe  could keep him in MN. There was no way that he wanted to leave Minnesota and especially the family and friends he knew.    No Florence would not have it, revealing a lifelong pattern where she thought of herself first.

Jerry in Korea, Air Force  1956

 So there they are, Florence with Dianne, Jerry's full sister and himself in front of the home, ready to head to California.  Jerry is 13 and would live in Californian with his mother and step father only  less than a year before he would hitchhike  cross country back to Minnesota and live with his grandfather..and the aunts until he could enlist in the Air Force, photos to the left....  Raised mainly by his grandparents and then off on his own, I told you she was not a mother to him. This trip to  California would culminate in Las Vegas  where Jerry ended up driving them after Florence nearly killed the three of them in a head on crash as she passed a car  going up a hill into oncoming traffic.  Jerry took over driving, to Las Vegas.  Florence called Lyman from there and he  came to Las Vegas where they married and took them to California.  Florence never drove again, never got a dirver's license, sinking into being "cared for" and taken wherever she went...Her oldest daughter, Dianne, (Jerry's full sister) died in 2005 in California but she had lived a hard tragic life of multiple marriages, many children most of whom did time in jails and prisons, on drugs, alcoholism, etc. and on and on.... Well you get the picture,   I told you it's like Prince of Tides......really lots of dysfunction and more....

Home in La Crescent

This was the old family homestead in town in La Crescent where she and the kids lived with her parents and Aunt Myrtle and Uncle Joe.  Today it is an empty lot and Jerry says buried under ground somewhere when they tore down the house and pitched everything into the cistern is his original pair of skis.   Uncle Joe was always Jerry's hero, taught  him to ski and would have been an excellent surrogate father.  This is the last photo of today,  Jerry's Aunt Myrtle, (a sister of Florence) and Uncle Joe a World War II hero and all around interesting person....this is their  wedding photo where the handsome soldier from North Carolina found, courted and married a beautiful girl from Minnesota.   With the purple hearts and Bronze stars Uncle Joe had earned he was entitled to send a son to West Point.  They had no children and he wanted to adopt Jerry and send him there, it was not to be.  Makes you wonder how  very different  life would have been. 

Wedding photo Myrtle and
Joe Whitfield

I did not realize I would  write so much about  mother in law when I started this, but more to come in weeks ahead.  I think my husband  did a dandy job of  becoming a good adult.... showing that people can overcome their circumstances with will....As always, click on the title to  go to the Sepia Saturday website where you can read and see others' photos and posts.